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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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Hey, Lexi.
It's me, Mikey.
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Mikey.
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No, no, no, no. Don't hang up.
Don't hang up.
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I got a big fucking
surprise for you.
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- Who is it?
- I was cleaning...
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Hey! Surprise!
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Hey. Hey, Lil.
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Oh, my shit.
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Nice to see
you, too, uh...
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How you been?
How you been?
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Okay...
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- It's me, Mikey. Remember me?
- I know.
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I know.
What are you doing here for?
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Well, I just
came to see Lexi,
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00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,585
and, well, I came
to see you of course.
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Both of you guys.
But is Lexi here right now?
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Lexi!
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- Thank you.
- What?
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You won't believe
who's here.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Oh, my shit.
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Surprise!
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Oh, my God, what the...
What are you doing here?
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Aw! It's good
to see you, too.
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Why are you here?
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Fuck. Oh, God damn it.
Where do I begin. Uh, look...
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No, you're not coming
in this house.
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- All beat up.
- That's right.
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- What... What the fuck?
- All right...
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All right, well,
I'll tell you what's...
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Yeah,
why are you here?
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- Yeah.
- Uh, well...
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Why are you here?
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Mom, Mom,
can you give me a minute?
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Lil, I just wanted
to come in,
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and hang
for a couple of days.
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No, you're not
coming in here.
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You're not coming
in my house.
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Mom, can you
just go inside and...
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- The fuck, Mikey?
- I... I know.
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I know.
This is unexpected.
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Oh, nothing with you
is unexpected.
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You still got that sass!
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Look, I don't know
what you want,
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00:04:01,818 --> 00:04:03,619
but I can't help you.
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So it doesn't matter how
or why you're here.
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00:04:06,718 --> 00:04:07,852
Go away.
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- Hey, Lil.
- Ma!
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- God damn it.
- Look, I don't want
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to be here, all right?
This is embarrassing.
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Well, I don't
want you here either.
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You think I want to
show up like this?
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I got my ass fuckin' kicked.
I just need a place to crash.
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- Why can't you be cool?
- What does it look like?
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- A hotel?
- Really? It's like that?
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Can you get off
the property, please?
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What, why... What are you
fucking going do? Really?
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Well, you...
Oh, you want me to call the cops?
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- I'll call the cops.
- Don't. Don't fucking...
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- No, I'm calling the cops.
- Fuck!
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- Nine, eight...
- God...
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Seven... Faster!
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I'm technically
off the property,
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so you can't
call the cops,
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because I'm on public land
respecting your boundaries!
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- Can you keep it down?
- Can you come over here
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so I don't have to project my
voice, please?
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Oh, fuck!
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Seriously, I just need a place
to crash for a couple of days.
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- What's the big deal?
- Mikey, go fuck yourself.
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Oh, you don't even know
what I've been through.
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- Oh, right.
- Look at my fucking face!
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I just was
on a bus for two days.
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I had to walk here
from the bus station...
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Why don't you stay
with your mama!
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My mom's in a nursing home
in Le Marque.
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A care home.
I can't sleep there.
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Mikey,
what do you want?
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- My God, I just...
- What do you want?
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I just fucking told you.
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I just need to crash
for a couple days.
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What, you want money,
right? Here.
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- I don't want fucking money.
- I got 22 fucking dollars.
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Here, come get it.
I can't come on your property.
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- Come get your money.
- You should've called!
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If I would've called,
you would've said "no."
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I'm still saying "no,"
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so you fucked yourself
by coming.
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Oh, please, come on.
You know me.
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Damn straight, I do.
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You know me
and you know
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I wouldn't be
literally begging
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if I had
somewhere to go.
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And if you don't
let me in,
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I'm going to sleep in
Tarpey fucking Park tonight,
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is that what you want?
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You said
you were never going
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to step a foot
in Texas again.
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And then the world fucked
me, what can I say.
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- Peek-a-boo!
- Ma!
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See, your mom's saying,
"Let him in.
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"Let him in
and take a shower."
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And the dog's like,
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"Oh, he's a good man,
I can tell by his nice energy."
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Please let me take
a fucking shower.
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The shit got
out of fucking control.
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If I didn't see it
with my own eyes,
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I wouldn't believe it.
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The place turned
into a fucking trap house
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right under my nose.
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Fucking Speigler sends me
some scraggly bitch from Ohio
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that he promised
would be chill.
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Her first night in the
house, she gets in a fight,
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knocks this
fucking bitch out.
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Crack. Right in front of me.
I was like, "Holy shit!"
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So, anyway, she bounced.
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Now, I got to fill the room
so I don't lose the month
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and her friend comes
and stays there
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and gets high
the whole fucking time.
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Why didn't you just
kick the bitch out?
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Well, I had seven hoes
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and they're letting MS-13
deal drugs the whole time.
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Lil, MS13 is a gang you
don't want to fuck with.
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You're good? You're good?
Okay. You need any coffee?
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All right. Sorry.
So, anyway.
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Long story short.
I ended up hiding out in my room,
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because these dudes were
straight fucking killers
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and I didn't wanna
fucking get killed
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so I played video games
the whole time.
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Remember the house
in Chatsworth?
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Mm-hmm.
- Well, this place was, like,
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maybe five times bigger.
Beautiful house.
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I had a two-year lease
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with an option to buy it at
the end of the lease, right?
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Well... As usual,
shit got fucking crazy.
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I snapped, I got up in
one of those cholos' faces
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because I'm not
a little bitch.
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I came this fucking close
to getting shot.
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This fucking close.
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So then I had to crash
with Kennedy.
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You remember Kennedy?
Remember...
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Do you remember Kennedy?
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Anyway, I had to crash
at Kennedy's
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for, like, three weeks
until he kicked my ass out
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'cause someone left
his back door open
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and his cute little cat
got out and got killed.
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And it wasn't me,
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it was some dumb cunt that
he fucked the night before.
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I'm sorry,
I don't mean to swear.
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But I don't do that,
everyone blames me, like,
152
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"Oh, Mikey's the bad guy."
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It's, like, whatever,
it's bullshit.
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So, anyway,
I had to crash at his place.
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He kicks me out,
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for, like, three nights,
I slept on the fucking street,
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I slept in a alleyway.
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I used my shoes
as a goddamn pillow.
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It's fucking bullshit,
my neck was so sore,
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I got beat up,
that's how all this happened.
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Two homeless fuckers
beat the shit out of me.
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They took everything except
my phone and my wallet.
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And the only reason
they didn't get that
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is the cop showed up
and arrested my ass!
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Why'd you get arrested?
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I have a feelin' there's a
whole lot more to this story.
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I'm sure there is.
168
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It doesn't even matter.
Look, guys.
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This could be fun,
this could be cool.
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I got a plan.
While I was on the bus,
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I thought about this,
I gave it some serious thought.
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Lil, you know I'm not a
freeloader, right?
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- While I'm here...
- How long?
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"How long" what?
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How long do you plan
on staying?
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Well, I mean, that's up to
you, and Lexi of course,
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but look, I saw some
hiring signs on the way in.
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I'll go downtown tomorrow,
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and I'll get a job
that pays cash.
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I'll teach fucking karate
if I have to.
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I just got my green belt.
182
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I'll make cash and I'll
help out around here.
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00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:34,152
You need a man
around the house. Okay?
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00:08:34,185 --> 00:08:35,651
I already see
shit's falling apart,
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00:08:35,685 --> 00:08:37,651
I can help out
with all that shit, right?
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I want at least $200 a week.
187
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Thank you, Lil,
you're not going to regret this.
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Seriously, thank you so much
for trusting me... I'll...
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00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:48,852
Let's give it a couple
of days and see how it goes.
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00:08:48,885 --> 00:08:50,018
Yeah, whatever
you're comfortable with.
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00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:51,885
I don't want
to make you uncomfortable,
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00:08:51,918 --> 00:08:54,052
I'm here to help.
And look, before long,
193
00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,885
it'll be
like we're still married.
194
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We are still married.
195
00:09:01,618 --> 00:09:03,818
Oh, my God,
the backyard's a mess.
196
00:09:03,852 --> 00:09:06,618
See, you need a guy around...
Dude, there's a dragonfly.
197
00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:11,918
...find
out, when she called you...
198
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,085
Now, you traveled?
199
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:14,785
- Yeah.
- How many days later?
200
00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:16,585
Okay.
201
00:09:16,618 --> 00:09:17,618
This was
about three days.
202
00:09:17,651 --> 00:09:18,651
So,
she called you and said
203
00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:19,852
they were
in a high speed chase...
204
00:09:19,885 --> 00:09:20,551
She said
I was in a high speed chase,
205
00:09:20,585 --> 00:09:23,118
- with Dante...
- Mornin'.
206
00:09:23,152 --> 00:09:25,018
- Mornin'.
- She was chasing him.
207
00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:27,952
He was in the car,
she pulled up,
208
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,918
- somebody told her...
- I love this show.
209
00:09:31,118 --> 00:09:33,718
I watch it everyday,
so get used to it.
210
00:09:33,751 --> 00:09:35,418
And from what I was told,
211
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they were doing like 80.
212
00:09:37,651 --> 00:09:39,818
Down a main street.
213
00:09:39,852 --> 00:09:42,685
She's trying to catch him,
and he hit a pole.
214
00:09:42,718 --> 00:09:43,952
A fence pole.
215
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:45,718
What do
you say happened?
216
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,152
I was coming back
from the airport,
217
00:09:47,185 --> 00:09:48,952
driving her off as she stated.
218
00:09:48,985 --> 00:09:51,152
And when I was
at the stop sign,
219
00:09:51,185 --> 00:09:53,852
- I had the right of way to...
- Excuse me.
220
00:09:55,152 --> 00:09:58,418
They ran the stop sign
and t-boned the car almost.
221
00:09:58,451 --> 00:10:00,885
Was this your baby
mother in the other car?
222
00:10:00,918 --> 00:10:02,484
- No.
- When she calls you
223
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,618
and she tells you,
224
00:10:03,651 --> 00:10:04,952
'cause I believe
that conversation happened,
225
00:10:04,985 --> 00:10:06,319
- do you call him?
- Yes.
226
00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:08,484
- And what does he say?
- He like, "Man...
227
00:10:08,518 --> 00:10:11,685
"You know that crazy broad.
It's not my fault.
228
00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:13,751
"She crazy... I was tryna..."
229
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:16,618
He was in fear for his
safety is what he told me.
230
00:10:16,651 --> 00:10:17,751
Is that
what you said?
231
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,152
- No.
- I don't believe you.
232
00:10:20,185 --> 00:10:22,751
Sir, you have a $500
counterclaim
233
00:10:22,785 --> 00:10:23,818
for emotional distress.
234
00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:25,618
I cannot wait to hear this.
235
00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:27,651
Hey, Lil,
I'm going to borrow
236
00:10:27,685 --> 00:10:29,085
some of your ground beef,
okay?
237
00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:30,384
Okay.
238
00:10:34,585 --> 00:10:36,418
Hey, Lexi?
239
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:37,685
Hello?
240
00:10:37,718 --> 00:10:38,818
- Yeah?
- Hey.
241
00:10:38,852 --> 00:10:40,618
Uh, I'm not looking
too presentable,
242
00:10:40,651 --> 00:10:41,852
so I'm going to let this
thing go down
243
00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,651
before I go
on these interviews.
244
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,651
So, few more days, okay?
245
00:10:46,852 --> 00:10:48,585
All right?
246
00:10:48,618 --> 00:10:50,418
- Sure.
- Thank you.
247
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:51,585
It was, before she started
248
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,818
- getting into my business.
- Really?
249
00:10:53,852 --> 00:10:55,152
So, that's what your
counter claim is about?
250
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,085
She has caused
you emotional distress.
251
00:10:57,118 --> 00:10:58,585
- Mm-hmm.
- Not baby mom...
252
00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:00,918
Put some clothes on
for Christ's sake.
253
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,052
- All of them do.
- Okay.
254
00:11:03,085 --> 00:11:04,585
They all run together.
255
00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:07,952
Your counterclaim
is dismissed, sir.
256
00:11:07,985 --> 00:11:11,118
Judgment in this case
is for the plaintiff $2902.
257
00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:18,052
Not even one men's shirt?
258
00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:20,751
Beggars can't be
choosers, Mikey.
259
00:11:52,985 --> 00:11:55,885
Your last job listed
260
00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:57,785
is over 17 years ago.
261
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,618
That's quite a gap
in employment.
262
00:12:00,651 --> 00:12:02,518
Well, you know,
I've worked almost everyday
263
00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:03,818
for the last 17 years.
264
00:12:03,852 --> 00:12:05,685
It's just I've been
self-employed.
265
00:12:05,718 --> 00:12:07,484
- What line of work?
- Oh, mostly entertainment.
266
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:08,618
I've been living
in Los Angeles,
267
00:12:08,651 --> 00:12:10,685
that's why I have the 323
area code right there,
268
00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:12,518
in case you were wondering.
But, yeah.
269
00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:15,119
Film, television,
music, entrepreneurship.
270
00:12:15,153 --> 00:12:17,551
Okay, so why are you
interested in working here?
271
00:12:17,585 --> 00:12:19,052
- Well, I'm living here now.
- Okay.
272
00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:21,119
We were estranged for a
while, I'll be honest.
273
00:12:21,153 --> 00:12:22,651
But, you know,
we're both from here.
274
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:24,952
And, you know, now that
we're back living here,
275
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,751
we decided
to make a run of it.
276
00:12:27,785 --> 00:12:29,585
Well, we do require
some experience
277
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,685
or some previous training
in the service industry.
278
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,985
- Mm.
- And at least one reference.
279
00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,952
Uh, yeah.
That's going to be tricky.
280
00:12:36,985 --> 00:12:39,918
But I did work for
CiCi's Pizza from '99 and 2000.
281
00:12:39,952 --> 00:12:41,785
I think that branch
that I worked for closed.
282
00:12:41,818 --> 00:12:42,852
I put it on there.
283
00:12:42,885 --> 00:12:45,852
But, yeah, you could contact
corporate if you like.
284
00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:47,852
Look, if you were
incarcerated, that's okay.
285
00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:49,052
I just need something
286
00:12:49,086 --> 00:12:50,119
from your parole officer.
287
00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:51,484
All right, look,
288
00:12:51,518 --> 00:12:52,818
I'm going to be straight
with you, all right?
289
00:12:52,852 --> 00:12:53,985
All right. Tell me.
I need that.
290
00:12:54,018 --> 00:12:56,518
Okay. All right, look,
I'll just be honest with you, man.
291
00:12:56,551 --> 00:12:58,152
You don't recognize me,
do you?
292
00:12:58,185 --> 00:13:00,119
I'm an adult film actor.
293
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:01,985
Excuse me?
294
00:13:02,018 --> 00:13:04,484
A porn star.
I'm a porn star.
295
00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:08,818
I know, I've been working
296
00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:09,918
in the adult entertainment
industry
297
00:13:09,952 --> 00:13:11,852
since 2001 and, you know,
even though...
298
00:13:11,885 --> 00:13:13,384
Did you say porn?
299
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,518
Hey, you know,
it was fun, I think.
300
00:13:15,551 --> 00:13:17,384
- I'm sure it was.
- Yeah, all the ladies...
301
00:13:17,418 --> 00:13:18,685
Why don't you
just google me?
302
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,484
Look up "Mikey Saber."
303
00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:22,451
- Mikey...
- Saber.
304
00:13:22,484 --> 00:13:26,551
S-A-B-E-R XXX. Go ahead.
Search it.
305
00:13:26,585 --> 00:13:27,618
This is unbelievable.
306
00:13:27,651 --> 00:13:29,985
Yeah,
that's what they say.
307
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,518
Yeah,
just pull down... Yep.
308
00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:33,585
That's me right there,
younger me, but...
309
00:13:35,451 --> 00:13:38,118
- Oh, that certainly is you.
- Mm. Yeah.
310
00:13:38,152 --> 00:13:39,952
2,000 movies, six awards,
311
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,551
13 nominations
and Hall of Fame, did that.
312
00:13:42,585 --> 00:13:44,053
I want to, you know,
start fresh,
313
00:13:44,086 --> 00:13:46,985
and really start
a new chapter, a new life
314
00:13:47,018 --> 00:13:48,952
with you,
and your company, ma'am.
315
00:13:48,985 --> 00:13:50,086
I'd really
like to help you,
316
00:13:50,118 --> 00:13:53,818
but, um, my management,
they would not permit this.
317
00:13:53,852 --> 00:13:57,885
I'm sorry,
but you're just simply
318
00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:00,685
overqualified for this job.
319
00:14:00,718 --> 00:14:02,551
I'm just not sure
our customers
320
00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:06,718
would be comfortable
with you waiting on them.
321
00:14:06,751 --> 00:14:09,585
They may have seen
one of your movies.
322
00:14:09,618 --> 00:14:10,885
Later on,
when you get home,
323
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,952
google "Mikey Saber XXX"
324
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,053
and you'll see
what I'm talking about.
325
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:14,985
- It's some good shit.
- Okay.
326
00:14:15,019 --> 00:14:16,518
- Yeah, yeah I'll do that.
- Thanks, man.
327
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:17,651
- Thanks, man. Take care now.
- Okay.
328
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,019
Stripes, Food King,
Dollar General.
329
00:14:23,053 --> 00:14:24,651
I even went
to fucking Luby's...
330
00:14:24,685 --> 00:14:25,885
Nobody's hiring.
331
00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:30,019
At least get your
assistance check.
332
00:14:33,052 --> 00:14:34,852
Well, I may be able
to get you pay stubs
333
00:14:34,885 --> 00:14:36,319
from Brazzers
or New Sensations,
334
00:14:36,351 --> 00:14:39,085
but I had a falling out with
one of the guys over there.
335
00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:40,052
It's a long story.
336
00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:41,052
Okay,
but you need to be
337
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:42,885
a Texas resident
to get benefits.
338
00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:44,085
Oh, no,
I'm residing here.
339
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:45,818
I moved back in
with my wife last week.
340
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:46,785
In order
to be a resident,
341
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:50,019
you need to reside here
for at least 180 days.
342
00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:51,618
So, why don't you
come back
343
00:14:51,651 --> 00:14:54,019
when you can provide me
with a Texas State ID,
344
00:14:54,052 --> 00:14:56,484
and a copy of your
marriage license, okay?
345
00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:57,585
Yes, ma'am.
346
00:14:57,618 --> 00:14:58,685
Also,
I'm a little confused,
347
00:14:58,718 --> 00:15:01,918
is your last name
Davies or Saber?
348
00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:08,585
During the Bill Kay Ford
349
00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:09,718
auto show sale-a-thon,
350
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:12,618
get 0% APR
for 60 to 72 months,
351
00:15:12,651 --> 00:15:14,451
plus auto show bonus cash...
352
00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:15,484
Morning, Lil.
353
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,585
Mornin.'
354
00:15:46,618 --> 00:15:48,551
This has been a test
355
00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:51,418
of the emergency
warning system.
356
00:16:01,618 --> 00:16:02,618
Damn.
357
00:16:22,551 --> 00:16:23,618
Ernesto!
358
00:16:27,118 --> 00:16:28,751
It's me, Mikey,
from high school.
359
00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:31,919
Mikey? Oh.
360
00:16:31,952 --> 00:16:33,985
Mikey. Okay. Okay.
361
00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:35,818
Is your mom here?
362
00:16:35,852 --> 00:16:37,152
Yeah, she's here.
363
00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:39,618
Can I please speak
with her really quick?
364
00:16:39,651 --> 00:16:41,618
- Yeah, she's out in the back.
- Okay.
365
00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:43,118
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
366
00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:44,585
- Out back.
- That way?
367
00:16:44,618 --> 00:16:46,018
- Yeah, out back.
- Okay.
368
00:16:46,052 --> 00:16:47,785
Thanks, big dog.
369
00:16:58,886 --> 00:17:00,651
He retarded.
370
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:02,618
Don't worry about it,
you know the boy is slow.
371
00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:05,018
That's why his head is so big.
Don't talk about the boy.
372
00:17:05,052 --> 00:17:06,085
I don't need him.
373
00:17:06,118 --> 00:17:07,418
I'm just tellin' you
to calm down,
374
00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:08,518
I'm gonna check his ass.
375
00:17:08,551 --> 00:17:10,685
Pardon me,
Leondria.
376
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:12,052
Hey, it's me, Mikey.
377
00:17:13,518 --> 00:17:14,551
Mikey.
378
00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:16,351
Remember me?
379
00:17:17,651 --> 00:17:19,451
It's okay,
it's been forever.
380
00:17:19,484 --> 00:17:21,718
Lil's son in law. Mikey.
381
00:17:23,118 --> 00:17:24,418
Mikey...
382
00:17:24,451 --> 00:17:25,718
Yeah, it's good
to see you, ma'am.
383
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:27,651
What the hell are you
doing around here?
384
00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:29,384
Yeah, I'm back in town.
385
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:32,085
It's so good to see you
again, ma'am, you look great.
386
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,618
- Hey, I'm Mikey.
- My daughter, June.
387
00:17:35,618 --> 00:17:36,885
Uh...
388
00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:38,551
Oh, shit, June.
389
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:39,785
I haven't seen you since...
390
00:17:39,819 --> 00:17:41,651
Last time I saw you,
you were up to my knee.
391
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,985
You've grown up.
392
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,351
Big girl now.
393
00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:49,484
So, why you back,
Mr. Hollywood?
394
00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:51,585
Oh, uh...
395
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:54,985
Well, me and the ol' lady
trying to give it another go.
396
00:17:55,018 --> 00:17:56,052
Oh, really?
397
00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:59,085
So you're telling me Lil
is letting you stay there?
398
00:17:59,118 --> 00:18:02,451
Well, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know, I'm helping out,
399
00:18:02,484 --> 00:18:04,786
and chipping in
around the house.
400
00:18:04,819 --> 00:18:05,885
Which is why I'm here.
401
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:07,518
So, I was wondering
402
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:10,685
if maybe I could move
some bud for you?
403
00:18:10,718 --> 00:18:12,451
Like I did back in the day.
404
00:18:13,085 --> 00:18:14,085
Hmm...
405
00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:17,585
Speaking of
back in the day,
406
00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:20,585
you sound brand new.
407
00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:22,585
Oh, the accent?
Yeah...
408
00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:25,852
Yeah, I had to lose it
for the biz, ma'am.
409
00:18:25,885 --> 00:18:27,852
But y'all know I'm still
a Texas boy at heart.
410
00:18:27,885 --> 00:18:29,985
Mm-hmm.
You helpin' Lil with the rent?
411
00:18:30,018 --> 00:18:31,451
Of course!
412
00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:32,585
But, uh...
413
00:18:32,618 --> 00:18:33,952
I'm kinda cash poor
at the moment,
414
00:18:33,985 --> 00:18:35,985
do you think you could
put me on Front Street?
415
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,118
Let's start
with an ounce.
416
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:42,718
Yeah, that'd be great.
417
00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:44,786
- Thank you.
- Hey, June. Hey, Le.
418
00:18:44,818 --> 00:18:45,885
Hey darlin'.
How are you?
419
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,685
- I'm good, how are you?
- Good, good, good.
420
00:18:47,718 --> 00:18:49,752
- Good, good, good.
- Everything is fine.
421
00:18:49,786 --> 00:18:52,118
You're looking good.
I know. You're looking good.
422
00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:53,918
You ladies have a nice day.
423
00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:55,651
You, too, Mikey.
424
00:18:55,685 --> 00:18:57,052
All right, girl...
Anyways, girl, so...
425
00:18:59,185 --> 00:19:01,085
Yeah, so, I kinda changed the...
Yeah.
426
00:19:01,118 --> 00:19:02,651
- I like the color.
- Girl, thank you.
427
00:19:02,685 --> 00:19:04,418
Yeah, what color is that?
428
00:19:06,518 --> 00:19:08,685
I bet you
any goddamn money,
429
00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:11,085
his ass gonna
smoke that shit himself.
430
00:19:11,118 --> 00:19:12,952
Well, I'm glad I gave
him some Reggie Bush.
431
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,518
That's what
I'm talking about.
432
00:19:14,551 --> 00:19:15,985
You're smart, baby girl.
433
00:19:16,952 --> 00:19:17,985
- A pipe.
- Okay.
434
00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:19,152
- And those baggies.
- Yeah.
435
00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:20,818
And let me get
Dutch Masters.
436
00:19:20,852 --> 00:19:21,785
Wait, no, no.
Yeah, those.
437
00:19:21,818 --> 00:19:22,985
- Those papers right there.
- Oh, this one?
438
00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:24,052
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
439
00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:25,384
I'm a patriotic boy.
440
00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,818
...but to do that,
441
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:43,052
we must break free
442
00:19:43,085 --> 00:19:46,484
from the petty politics
of the past.
443
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,885
America is a nation
of believers, dreamers
444
00:19:50,918 --> 00:19:52,585
and strivers
445
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,418
that is being led
446
00:19:54,451 --> 00:19:57,719
by a group of censors,
critics and cynics.
447
00:20:08,718 --> 00:20:09,751
You weren't
bullshitting.
448
00:20:09,785 --> 00:20:11,618
I don't bullshit.
449
00:20:11,652 --> 00:20:13,518
Just please don't give me
that snicklefritz shit again,
450
00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:14,686
or I won't get repeaters.
451
00:20:15,785 --> 00:20:17,686
It's not snicklefritz shit, son.
452
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:18,718
Much better.
453
00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:22,484
Ladies.
454
00:20:25,518 --> 00:20:26,484
Hey, Leo.
455
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,152
- Hey, June. How's it going?
- Hey, darlin'.
456
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,852
- How are you?
- Good.
457
00:20:31,952 --> 00:20:33,918
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
458
00:20:49,518 --> 00:20:51,484
Yes.
459
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:54,918
Got 'em.
460
00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:56,751
Hello, ma'am.
461
00:20:56,785 --> 00:20:58,585
Hey, how you doin' today, honey?
462
00:20:58,619 --> 00:21:00,785
Doin' good. You got
men's clothes, my size?
463
00:21:00,818 --> 00:21:02,152
I got
a few over here
464
00:21:02,185 --> 00:21:03,384
- hangin' up.
- Oh.
465
00:21:03,852 --> 00:21:04,718
I like this.
466
00:21:04,751 --> 00:21:06,652
You think this is
a good color on me?
467
00:21:06,685 --> 00:21:08,018
Oh, absolutely.
468
00:21:08,052 --> 00:21:09,185
Let me get that.
469
00:21:09,219 --> 00:21:11,619
You have a fitting room?
Or do I just have to risk it?
470
00:21:11,652 --> 00:21:14,384
Yeah I think this shirt will
look real nice on you, hon.
471
00:21:17,451 --> 00:21:19,952
If I buy all those clothes,
throw this in for a dollar.
472
00:21:19,985 --> 00:21:21,018
- All right. Deal.
- Okay?
473
00:21:21,052 --> 00:21:22,085
Deal.
474
00:21:22,118 --> 00:21:23,518
- Sold.
- Sold.
475
00:21:23,551 --> 00:21:24,384
Sold!
476
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:28,451
Lil, as a token
of my appreciation,
477
00:21:28,484 --> 00:21:30,885
step up from
your restaurant ashtray,
478
00:21:30,918 --> 00:21:32,551
and okay...
479
00:21:32,586 --> 00:21:35,518
This doesn't change anything,
but I do like it.
480
00:21:53,818 --> 00:21:56,552
Damn, dope ride.
481
00:21:56,586 --> 00:21:59,085
Uh, yeah, man.
Can I help you?
482
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,118
Wow.
483
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:02,818
I'm next door.
I'm living next door.
484
00:22:04,185 --> 00:22:06,118
Oh, yeah?
Wait a second.
485
00:22:08,018 --> 00:22:10,118
Shit, you're Mikey!
486
00:22:10,618 --> 00:22:11,651
Yeah.
487
00:22:11,685 --> 00:22:12,785
Yeah, man, it's...
488
00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:14,384
It's me, man.
It's me, Lonnie!
489
00:22:15,018 --> 00:22:16,152
Do I know you?
490
00:22:16,185 --> 00:22:19,484
Well, I mean, kinda.
491
00:22:19,519 --> 00:22:21,918
I mean, I live here,
obviously.
492
00:22:21,952 --> 00:22:23,418
And, uh...
493
00:22:23,451 --> 00:22:24,952
No, Lexi, man.
494
00:22:24,985 --> 00:22:26,785
Lexi used to babysit me
all the time.
495
00:22:26,818 --> 00:22:28,651
Oh, yeah.
496
00:22:28,685 --> 00:22:30,384
Yeah, my parents came home
one night,
497
00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:32,052
y'all were humpin'
in their bedroom.
498
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,118
You jumped
out the window naked!
499
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,018
They called the cops
on you and everything.
500
00:22:36,052 --> 00:22:37,651
Yep, yep, now I remember.
501
00:22:37,685 --> 00:22:39,818
Oh, shit, your mother
hates me.
502
00:22:39,852 --> 00:22:40,751
Uh, well, I mean,
503
00:22:40,785 --> 00:22:43,552
she hated you, man.
Uh, yeah, she died.
504
00:22:43,585 --> 00:22:45,585
Oh. Damn,
sorry to hear that.
505
00:22:45,618 --> 00:22:46,785
No, I mean, it's good, man.
506
00:22:46,818 --> 00:22:48,685
I mean,
it happened over a year ago.
507
00:22:48,718 --> 00:22:50,018
Bladder cancer.
508
00:22:50,052 --> 00:22:51,885
- Shit's a motherfucker.
- Ah, shit.
509
00:22:51,918 --> 00:22:53,651
That sucks.
510
00:22:53,685 --> 00:22:55,384
Hey, we should hang out
sometime.
511
00:22:55,418 --> 00:22:56,818
Take a spin in this bad boy.
512
00:22:56,852 --> 00:22:57,885
Uh, yeah, man.
513
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,384
What are you even
doing back here?
514
00:22:59,418 --> 00:23:00,718
Oh, it's a long story,
515
00:23:00,751 --> 00:23:02,152
but do you think you could
take me downtown tomorrow?
516
00:23:02,185 --> 00:23:03,384
We could catch up.
517
00:23:03,418 --> 00:23:06,018
Yeah, dude. I would love to.
I got nothin' else to do.
518
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,885
Hell, yeah.
Thanks, bro. Uh...
519
00:23:07,918 --> 00:23:09,818
Hey, let's just get you
some shoes on this bitch.
520
00:23:09,852 --> 00:23:10,985
You're good to go.
521
00:23:11,018 --> 00:23:13,018
- Yeah, man. I can't wait.
- All right.
522
00:23:13,052 --> 00:23:14,952
And welcome back, dude!
523
00:23:14,985 --> 00:23:16,852
Fuckin' Mikey, man. Shit.
524
00:23:19,519 --> 00:23:20,519
Fuckin' Mikey.
525
00:23:34,718 --> 00:23:37,585
Oh, you got to be
fucking kidding me.
526
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,852
Hey, great life choice,
guys, seriously.
527
00:23:47,485 --> 00:23:48,551
So stupid.
528
00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:56,085
Her doctor cut
529
00:23:56,118 --> 00:23:58,685
her pain meds in half,
you fucking asshole.
530
00:23:58,718 --> 00:23:59,785
Yeah, right.
531
00:24:01,651 --> 00:24:02,952
Oh,
this is a pimp mobile
532
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,751
if I ever rode in one, Lonnie.
533
00:24:04,785 --> 00:24:06,484
Man, I'm not gonna
lie to you, Mikey,
534
00:24:06,518 --> 00:24:09,419
I never thought I'd see you
back in Texas City, brother.
535
00:24:09,452 --> 00:24:11,585
Yeah, me neither.
536
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:14,118
God, I remember
when y'all left, man.
537
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:16,618
You all were like celebrities,
you know?
538
00:24:16,651 --> 00:24:18,852
Fuckin' two porn stars,
the couple. Oh!
539
00:24:18,885 --> 00:24:20,018
Yeah? That's cool.
540
00:24:20,052 --> 00:24:23,618
Oh, dude, they used to
show Lexi's fuckin' videos
541
00:24:23,651 --> 00:24:25,885
at every one
of the high school parties.
542
00:24:25,918 --> 00:24:27,818
And I got to brag, man,
543
00:24:27,852 --> 00:24:29,484
because
she was my neighbor.
544
00:24:29,518 --> 00:24:30,852
And babysitter.
545
00:24:30,885 --> 00:24:33,018
Yeah, man.
And babysitter, man.
546
00:24:33,052 --> 00:24:33,952
Look, man,
I've got 800,
547
00:24:33,985 --> 00:24:36,152
almost 900 subscribers
on my Pornhub channel.
548
00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:38,518
And I got
one of the highest ratings.
549
00:24:38,551 --> 00:24:41,152
That's not just male talent,
that's overall.
550
00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:43,385
I've got
an 81% positive click rate.
551
00:24:43,419 --> 00:24:45,585
I was at this coffee shop in the
Valley, and these people were like,
552
00:24:45,618 --> 00:24:46,852
"Oh, shit,
that's Mikey Saber."
553
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:48,385
Right here, bro.
Go right, right, right.
554
00:24:50,718 --> 00:24:52,685
Yeah, bro,
they recognized me.
555
00:24:52,718 --> 00:24:53,985
They're like, "Oh,
that's Mikey Saber.
556
00:24:54,018 --> 00:24:56,085
They took a picture of me,
tagged me on Instagram.
557
00:24:56,118 --> 00:24:57,918
And next thing you know,
I had 100 new followers.
558
00:24:58,985 --> 00:25:00,885
- 100 followers?
- Yep.
559
00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:02,918
I don't even have
100 followers.
560
00:25:02,952 --> 00:25:04,085
Well,
if you stick with me,
561
00:25:04,118 --> 00:25:05,885
I'll get
your followers up, baby.
562
00:25:05,918 --> 00:25:07,785
Jenna Haze, man...
563
00:25:07,818 --> 00:25:09,052
- Huh?
- Jenna Haze, man...
564
00:25:09,085 --> 00:25:10,118
Oh, yeah, Jenna.
565
00:25:10,152 --> 00:25:12,518
Yeah, I did at least
three scenes with her, man.
566
00:25:12,551 --> 00:25:15,484
She's a nasty bitch,
let me tell you.
567
00:25:15,518 --> 00:25:17,152
Make it rain on that ass
568
00:25:17,185 --> 00:25:19,551
if you want to see
that cash, right here.
569
00:25:19,585 --> 00:25:21,685
Oh, yeah, if you'd like to see
what's in between,
570
00:25:21,718 --> 00:25:23,418
come on and throw some
more green right here.
571
00:25:23,451 --> 00:25:24,319
All night long.
572
00:25:24,352 --> 00:25:26,852
She ran my bill
up to $1500 bucks.
573
00:25:26,885 --> 00:25:28,818
It's like,
who you callin' in Prague, bitch?
574
00:25:28,852 --> 00:25:29,952
Fuck, if I know!
575
00:25:29,985 --> 00:25:33,118
Shit, yeah.
But she's a beautiful girl, man!
576
00:25:33,152 --> 00:25:34,518
- I can't hear you.
- I said,
577
00:25:34,551 --> 00:25:36,118
"Yeah, but she's
a beautiful girl, man."
578
00:25:36,152 --> 00:25:38,785
Oh, yeah, she's fuckin'
bangin', bro! She's bangin'.
579
00:25:39,751 --> 00:25:42,018
Oh, God,
speaking of bangin'.
580
00:25:42,052 --> 00:25:44,018
I need a minute.
581
00:25:48,852 --> 00:25:51,651
Throw that green
right there for Diamond, guys.
582
00:25:53,484 --> 00:25:54,751
If you love pussy, well, hey,
583
00:25:54,785 --> 00:25:57,585
don't be shy to get topside,
right here, right now.
584
00:26:02,418 --> 00:26:04,818
Tell your girls there's
more where that came from.
585
00:26:10,985 --> 00:26:11,985
Mm.
586
00:26:14,118 --> 00:26:15,651
...who you trust
587
00:26:15,685 --> 00:26:17,052
to defend our freedom,
588
00:26:17,085 --> 00:26:19,952
and to stay faithful
to the Constitution.
589
00:26:30,952 --> 00:26:31,952
Psst!
590
00:26:33,618 --> 00:26:34,718
- Hey!
- Hey.
591
00:26:34,751 --> 00:26:35,952
Whatcha doing?
592
00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:38,118
- I'm watching TV.
- Oh.
593
00:26:38,152 --> 00:26:39,985
No way.
What are you watching?
594
00:26:40,018 --> 00:26:41,818
None of your business.
595
00:26:41,852 --> 00:26:43,918
- I love that show.
- Oh, my God.
596
00:26:44,651 --> 00:26:46,118
Hey, you, uh...
597
00:26:47,518 --> 00:26:48,818
You wanna hang out
and stuff?
598
00:26:49,918 --> 00:26:51,618
Do I want to hang out
and stuff?
599
00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:52,651
Yeah.
600
00:26:53,651 --> 00:26:54,685
What?
601
00:26:54,718 --> 00:26:55,718
Do you want to hook up?
602
00:26:57,085 --> 00:26:58,651
Do I want to hook up?
603
00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:02,018
Do... Do you want to fuck?
604
00:27:05,451 --> 00:27:06,818
Are you serious
right now, Mikey?
605
00:27:06,852 --> 00:27:09,118
Yeah, I'm serious,
keep it down, your mom...
606
00:27:11,152 --> 00:27:14,351
- Come on.
- Okay, hurry.
607
00:27:15,852 --> 00:27:16,852
Phew.
608
00:27:23,718 --> 00:27:27,085
...and no scratches. Look!
Burnt cheese...
609
00:27:31,052 --> 00:27:32,085
Can I get a drag?
610
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:33,918
- Can I get...
- Yeah.
611
00:27:34,685 --> 00:27:36,052
Mm!
612
00:27:36,085 --> 00:27:37,651
Your body looks good.
613
00:27:37,685 --> 00:27:39,651
You been working out?
614
00:27:41,852 --> 00:27:43,118
- What?
- So...
615
00:27:44,618 --> 00:27:45,751
We're done here.
616
00:27:46,451 --> 00:27:47,484
What do you mean?
617
00:27:47,518 --> 00:27:48,818
What? I can't sleep here?
618
00:27:48,852 --> 00:27:49,885
No.
619
00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:52,484
- Really?
- Go back to the sofa.
620
00:27:52,518 --> 00:27:54,518
Come on now.
621
00:27:54,551 --> 00:27:56,484
Jesus. Oh, my God.
622
00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:19,518
That was fun.
623
00:28:26,651 --> 00:28:28,685
Sophie, I fucked your mom
last night.
624
00:28:28,718 --> 00:28:30,518
Oh, my God,
can you keep it down?
625
00:28:30,551 --> 00:28:31,818
- Oh, stop.
- Shut your...
626
00:28:31,852 --> 00:28:32,918
You love it.
627
00:28:34,852 --> 00:28:36,985
Don't think this is going
to become a regular thing.
628
00:28:43,518 --> 00:28:44,985
Think you can
cut the lawn today?
629
00:29:17,685 --> 00:29:20,018
That's right, I'm
back, I'm back in town,
630
00:29:20,052 --> 00:29:21,085
you've seen me before.
631
00:29:21,119 --> 00:29:22,153
Don't act
like you ain't seen me,
632
00:29:22,185 --> 00:29:23,585
she recognized me.
633
00:29:25,451 --> 00:29:26,918
You know, uh,
in high school,
634
00:29:26,952 --> 00:29:28,086
I beat this guy's ass
635
00:29:28,119 --> 00:29:29,818
- like 25 years ago.
- No way.
636
00:29:29,852 --> 00:29:31,818
We had a misunderstanding
on the basketball court
637
00:29:31,852 --> 00:29:33,985
over a basketball game.
638
00:29:34,018 --> 00:29:36,484
♪ Happy birthday to you
639
00:29:36,518 --> 00:29:39,119
♪ Happy birthday to you!
Happy... ♪
640
00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:40,518
And to many more!
641
00:29:41,952 --> 00:29:44,086
Mom, we just want to say
happy birthday.
642
00:29:44,119 --> 00:29:47,518
And we hope you have many more.
643
00:29:48,451 --> 00:29:50,018
Thank you, honey!
644
00:29:50,052 --> 00:29:52,651
- Yeah.
- This one.
645
00:29:52,685 --> 00:29:55,585
I guess you can set it down,
thank you all for comin' out!
646
00:30:17,086 --> 00:30:18,618
- Zena. Zena Valentine.
- Yeah.
647
00:30:18,651 --> 00:30:20,618
Zena. Melissa. Yeah.
648
00:30:20,651 --> 00:30:22,551
Yeah, man, you were
in a bunch of her scenes.
649
00:30:22,585 --> 00:30:24,718
Uh, she was in a bunch
of my scenes, technically.
650
00:30:24,751 --> 00:30:26,852
But yeah,
that was my girl after Lexi.
651
00:30:26,885 --> 00:30:27,818
Bitch goes and marries
652
00:30:27,852 --> 00:30:30,384
some rich software dork
she met in Vegas.
653
00:30:30,418 --> 00:30:31,252
I think they have a kid,
654
00:30:31,285 --> 00:30:33,152
they live in Salt Lake
or something.
655
00:30:33,185 --> 00:30:34,885
Boring fucking life.
656
00:30:34,918 --> 00:30:36,384
- Wow, man...
- Yeah.
657
00:30:36,418 --> 00:30:37,618
Who do you think
discovered her?
658
00:30:37,651 --> 00:30:38,718
I got her signed
to Renegade,
659
00:30:38,751 --> 00:30:39,985
I taught her the pole.
660
00:30:40,019 --> 00:30:41,118
I dealt with her crazy
661
00:30:41,152 --> 00:30:44,085
drugged-out ass
for a year, man.
662
00:30:44,118 --> 00:30:46,484
As soon as the bitch's head
gets big, they betray you.
663
00:30:47,718 --> 00:30:49,451
That's what happened
with Lexi, you know?
664
00:30:49,484 --> 00:30:50,985
- Really? Lexi?
- Yep.
665
00:30:51,019 --> 00:30:53,585
Jules Jordan bought her out
from under me for 10 grand
666
00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:55,785
the first chance he got,
that fucker.
667
00:30:55,818 --> 00:30:57,618
Wait, he bought her?
668
00:30:57,651 --> 00:30:58,985
Yeah, he paid her
10 grand to betray me,
669
00:30:59,019 --> 00:31:00,651
but the joke's
on Jules, though.
670
00:31:00,685 --> 00:31:02,651
She went from doing roxies
to smokin' tar
671
00:31:02,685 --> 00:31:05,118
the minute I wasn't there
to straighten her ass out.
672
00:31:05,152 --> 00:31:07,019
We were together
for five years.
673
00:31:07,053 --> 00:31:08,585
Five fuckin' years.
674
00:31:08,618 --> 00:31:10,618
She won two AVNs
under my watch.
675
00:31:10,651 --> 00:31:13,019
She leaves me,
bitch gets shot out in nine months,
676
00:31:13,052 --> 00:31:13,986
couldn't book shit.
677
00:31:14,019 --> 00:31:15,651
And then she goes,
and moves in with mommy
678
00:31:15,685 --> 00:31:18,718
exactly one year after
she left me high and dry.
679
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,585
- Shit.
- Yeah, shit is right.
680
00:31:20,618 --> 00:31:22,618
Hey, is Whispers
in Galveston still open?
681
00:31:30,118 --> 00:31:32,451
You're not leaving that
dirty glass in the sink.
682
00:31:32,852 --> 00:31:34,952
- No, sir.
- Okay.
683
00:31:34,986 --> 00:31:36,019
Clean it up.
684
00:31:36,052 --> 00:31:37,118
Okay.
685
00:31:43,852 --> 00:31:45,953
That's right,
we all do our share.
686
00:31:45,986 --> 00:31:47,518
Mm-hmm. Okay.
687
00:31:47,551 --> 00:31:48,986
Wait. Where do you think
you're going?
688
00:31:49,018 --> 00:31:49,953
What about the others?
689
00:31:49,986 --> 00:31:50,986
- Those are yours, too.
- Lil, look. All right.
690
00:31:51,018 --> 00:31:53,418
The last three houses
I lived in had dishwashers,
691
00:31:53,451 --> 00:31:54,484
I'm not doing the dishes.
692
00:31:54,518 --> 00:31:56,018
- I don't do that shit, right?
- You do not live here.
693
00:31:56,052 --> 00:31:57,618
This is my kitchen.
694
00:31:57,651 --> 00:31:59,018
If you can't follow
the rules...
695
00:31:59,052 --> 00:32:00,953
- Out! Out! Out!
- Why are you talking to me
696
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:02,384
- like a little kid.
- Hey, Lexi!
697
00:32:02,418 --> 00:32:03,986
Don't you disrespect
your mother-in-law!
698
00:32:04,018 --> 00:32:05,118
Your mom's starting shit
with me.
699
00:32:05,152 --> 00:32:07,384
Can you please inform her
I'm not a dick?
700
00:32:07,418 --> 00:32:08,651
Why would I lie
to my mother?
701
00:32:08,685 --> 00:32:10,085
Oh, you, too, huh?
Really?
702
00:32:10,118 --> 00:32:11,852
You're just gonna turn on me like
that, after...
703
00:32:11,885 --> 00:32:12,919
I've been mowing
the fucking lawn.
704
00:32:12,953 --> 00:32:13,986
- Oh, my God.
- What?
705
00:32:14,018 --> 00:32:15,052
You've been
mowing the lawn.
706
00:32:15,085 --> 00:32:15,986
What? Yeah, I've been
mowing the lawn.
707
00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,384
- Jesus Christ, Mikey.
- You've been leaving
708
00:32:17,418 --> 00:32:18,518
dirty dishes in the sink.
709
00:32:18,551 --> 00:32:20,618
You haven't given me
a dime.
710
00:32:20,651 --> 00:32:22,052
I know, but I'm going
to pay you guys,
711
00:32:22,085 --> 00:32:23,085
but look,
I've been walkin' the dog.
712
00:32:23,118 --> 00:32:25,118
- I'm providing protection.
- She's an outside dog!
713
00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:26,152
She doesn't need walkin',
Mikey!
714
00:32:26,185 --> 00:32:27,418
I'm providing security.
I've been helpin' out.
715
00:32:27,451 --> 00:32:28,418
We don't need security.
Do we need a security guard, Mom?
716
00:32:28,451 --> 00:32:30,484
- Oh, come on.
- I didn't know that we hired
717
00:32:30,518 --> 00:32:31,618
a security guard.
718
00:32:31,651 --> 00:32:33,018
Yeah, you...
You're safe now because I'm here.
719
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:34,418
You're always
on my couch.
720
00:32:34,451 --> 00:32:36,152
You've been drinking
all my Ensures.
721
00:32:36,185 --> 00:32:37,451
Listen, I'm trying
to get a job.
722
00:32:37,484 --> 00:32:39,152
You've been here
for three weeks now!
723
00:32:39,185 --> 00:32:40,384
I've been looking
for a job the whole time.
724
00:32:40,418 --> 00:32:41,118
- I want you out of here now.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
725
00:32:41,152 --> 00:32:43,052
Wait, wait.
Listen, listen.
726
00:32:43,085 --> 00:32:43,985
I know I said I'd help out
with the rent.
727
00:32:44,018 --> 00:32:45,551
- You did. You did.
- No, wait a minute.
728
00:32:45,585 --> 00:32:46,751
Let me finish.
729
00:32:46,785 --> 00:32:48,085
I know I said
I'd help out with the rent.
730
00:32:48,118 --> 00:32:49,585
- Yeah.
- So...
731
00:32:49,618 --> 00:32:50,818
I'm not gonna
help out with the rent.
732
00:32:50,852 --> 00:32:52,551
Well, get
the fuck out, then!
733
00:32:52,585 --> 00:32:54,518
I'm gonna pay
the whole goddamn thing!
734
00:32:56,818 --> 00:32:58,518
- Now you're talkin'.
- Uh-huh.
735
00:32:58,551 --> 00:33:00,384
August is on Mikey,
motherfuckers!
736
00:33:00,418 --> 00:33:01,618
Yeah! Look
how your eyes light up
737
00:33:01,651 --> 00:33:02,818
like a little
Christmas tree.
738
00:33:02,852 --> 00:33:03,919
The whole month.
The whole month.
739
00:33:03,952 --> 00:33:04,886
- Yes, the whole month.
- Okay.
740
00:33:04,919 --> 00:33:07,585
So let's go get some
fuckin' donuts, on me,
741
00:33:07,618 --> 00:33:09,418
'cause I take care of shit
around here.
742
00:33:09,451 --> 00:33:11,651
And whatever fuckin' donuts
you want, let's go.
743
00:33:11,685 --> 00:33:14,118
I just wanted to get you
guys taken care of, okay?
744
00:33:14,152 --> 00:33:15,985
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
745
00:33:16,018 --> 00:33:17,718
My favorite place.
746
00:33:17,751 --> 00:33:19,585
I know, Lil.
You love this place.
747
00:33:20,018 --> 00:33:21,152
Yes.
748
00:33:21,185 --> 00:33:23,152
I might have one bite.
I don't know, I'll see.
749
00:33:23,185 --> 00:33:24,853
You think it's too late
for me to get coffee?
750
00:33:24,886 --> 00:33:26,518
You can get coffee
whenever you want.
751
00:33:26,551 --> 00:33:27,651
I just don't think
it's gonna be
752
00:33:27,685 --> 00:33:29,052
the best coffee
in the world, but...
753
00:33:29,085 --> 00:33:31,853
Here, look. I even got
the door. I got the door.
754
00:33:31,886 --> 00:33:34,118
- I got the door.
- Thank you.
755
00:33:34,152 --> 00:33:35,484
- Here we are.
- Mom, come on.
756
00:33:35,518 --> 00:33:36,818
- Good evenin'.
- Hello.
757
00:33:36,853 --> 00:33:38,585
- Hello.
- Whatever these ladies want.
758
00:33:38,618 --> 00:33:40,685
- Okay.
- I want donut holes,
759
00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:42,853
and jelly filled donut,
and a cappuccino.
760
00:33:42,886 --> 00:33:43,918
There you go,
make it a large.
761
00:33:43,952 --> 00:33:45,651
- Give her an extra-large cup.
- For here or to go?
762
00:33:45,685 --> 00:33:47,585
- What do you want, for here?
- Yeah.
763
00:33:47,618 --> 00:33:48,785
- Do you want it here?
- What do you think?
764
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:49,853
We're just gonna go,
765
00:33:49,886 --> 00:33:50,785
we're gonna eat it
just on the road?
766
00:33:50,818 --> 00:33:53,718
Give her the largest
cappuccino that you got,
767
00:33:53,751 --> 00:33:55,418
- and whatever drink she wants.
- I'll have a small coffee.
768
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:57,484
Give her a large. Get a...
Now's the time. Get a large.
769
00:33:57,518 --> 00:33:58,651
Yeah, I'll get
a large coffee, and...
770
00:33:58,685 --> 00:34:00,085
- And...
- With lots of cream.
771
00:34:00,118 --> 00:34:01,853
- Sure.
- And a little bit of sugar.
772
00:34:01,885 --> 00:34:03,384
What other donuts
do you want?
773
00:34:03,418 --> 00:34:05,018
- Um, I wanna have...
- She wants a pink.
774
00:34:05,052 --> 00:34:06,853
I want a pink...
Yeah, pink sparkle, please.
775
00:34:06,885 --> 00:34:08,484
Give her the pink sparkles.
Whatever she wants.
776
00:34:08,518 --> 00:34:09,618
And then I can get...
777
00:34:09,651 --> 00:34:11,618
Ooh, can I get a chocolate, too?
Can I get a chocolate?
778
00:34:11,651 --> 00:34:13,651
- Thank you.
- Whatever they want. Okay?
779
00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:14,885
Donut holes, please.
780
00:34:14,918 --> 00:34:15,985
Yeah,
get the donut holes.
781
00:34:16,018 --> 00:34:17,551
Yeah, this is the day
to get everything you want.
782
00:34:17,585 --> 00:34:19,618
This is the day
that the Lord hath made.
783
00:34:19,651 --> 00:34:21,118
- Mr. Moneybags here.
- Thank you.
784
00:34:21,152 --> 00:34:23,018
- Okay.
- All right.
785
00:34:23,052 --> 00:34:24,819
Look at that, huh?
We got the holes, you're good.
786
00:34:24,853 --> 00:34:26,018
Is that enough
for you guys?
787
00:34:26,052 --> 00:34:27,718
You should get it while
we're here 'cause this is it.
788
00:34:27,751 --> 00:34:28,651
All right. There you go.
That's...
789
00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:29,551
- Is that one yours?
- Is that the cappuccino?
790
00:34:29,585 --> 00:34:31,518
Okay, that's the cappuccino.
This one's...
791
00:34:31,551 --> 00:34:32,585
That's the biggest one
they got.
792
00:34:32,618 --> 00:34:34,751
I don't know what more you want me to do.
All right.
793
00:34:34,786 --> 00:34:35,852
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
794
00:34:35,885 --> 00:34:37,384
You guys go ahead
and sit down.
795
00:34:37,418 --> 00:34:38,685
I'll grab this.
How much is that?
796
00:34:38,718 --> 00:34:42,786
- $6:32.
- $6:32. All right.
797
00:34:43,952 --> 00:34:45,018
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
798
00:34:45,052 --> 00:34:46,685
Can I get some napkins,
please?
799
00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:48,451
- Thank you, yeah.
- All righty.
800
00:34:49,852 --> 00:34:52,518
And here's your change.
801
00:34:58,718 --> 00:35:00,085
Thank you, kindly.
802
00:35:06,985 --> 00:35:08,952
Mm. I'm going
to save the pink sprinkle,
803
00:35:08,985 --> 00:35:10,152
this one, for last.
804
00:35:10,185 --> 00:35:12,518
This one, I don't know
what to do with.
805
00:35:12,551 --> 00:35:13,985
I don't know what to do
with that one.
806
00:35:14,018 --> 00:35:16,085
I don't know what to do
with that, Ma. Look.
807
00:35:16,118 --> 00:35:17,551
- All right, I'll have one.
- Don't you feel like it? Okay.
808
00:35:17,585 --> 00:35:18,685
- Just tear me half.
- Eat the part that doesn't
809
00:35:18,718 --> 00:35:19,618
- have the sprinkle on it.
- I don't want the colored one,
810
00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:21,685
just give me half of
one of the donut balls.
811
00:35:21,718 --> 00:35:23,152
- Half of a donut ball?
- Why do they call it a hole?
812
00:35:23,185 --> 00:35:25,052
I don't understand why
it's a hole if it's the...
813
00:35:25,085 --> 00:35:26,952
The hole is in the middle.
814
00:35:26,985 --> 00:35:28,952
That's where
it came out of.
815
00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:31,585
Right. Okay,
that makes sense.
816
00:35:31,618 --> 00:35:33,585
This one doesn't have
enough sprinkles on it.
817
00:35:33,618 --> 00:35:34,719
See that?
818
00:35:34,752 --> 00:35:35,786
What do you guys, uh...
819
00:35:35,818 --> 00:35:37,685
Can you guys wrap this up?
We got to get out of here.
820
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,918
- Okay.
- Excuse me...
821
00:35:38,952 --> 00:35:40,185
What... No, Mom.
I am eating.
822
00:35:40,219 --> 00:35:44,118
I am going to savor every
goddamn sparkle on this donut.
823
00:35:44,152 --> 00:35:46,952
- Keep it down.
- What? She don't care.
824
00:35:46,985 --> 00:35:49,418
I know but it's rude,
we just came in...
825
00:35:50,785 --> 00:35:52,585
I don't know
why he's walkin' so fast.
826
00:35:52,618 --> 00:35:55,052
- Just hurry up.
- Must be a fire somewhere.
827
00:35:55,085 --> 00:35:56,585
I'm full!
828
00:35:56,618 --> 00:35:58,852
Come on,
we're full of donuts.
829
00:35:58,885 --> 00:36:01,018
- Okay, come on.
- I gotta pee.
830
00:36:01,052 --> 00:36:02,719
Stop act...
You get so dramatic.
831
00:36:02,752 --> 00:36:04,085
I'm not acting.
832
00:36:04,118 --> 00:36:05,551
What, are you training
for a marathon?
833
00:36:05,585 --> 00:36:07,118
Lil, will you tell
your daughter to...
834
00:36:07,152 --> 00:36:08,651
Is this the Olympics?
835
00:36:08,686 --> 00:36:11,118
- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Are we going to a fire?
836
00:36:11,152 --> 00:36:13,618
Fire? What do you mean?
We're going home.
837
00:36:13,651 --> 00:36:15,418
- I'm full!
- I can't run
838
00:36:15,451 --> 00:36:16,852
- in these shoes, Mikey.
- All right.
839
00:36:16,885 --> 00:36:18,952
I don't wanna
throw up my cookies!
840
00:36:18,985 --> 00:36:21,451
Oh, shit, I forgot...
I forgot cigarettes.
841
00:36:21,484 --> 00:36:22,451
Oh, I got a pack.
842
00:36:22,484 --> 00:36:24,618
And I forgot rollin' papers.
I'll be right back.
843
00:36:24,651 --> 00:36:26,052
- All right.
- Yep.
844
00:36:26,085 --> 00:36:27,085
All right.
845
00:37:17,518 --> 00:37:18,518
Psst!
846
00:38:31,451 --> 00:38:33,118
Hello?
847
00:38:37,518 --> 00:38:38,384
- Hi.
- May I help you?
848
00:38:38,418 --> 00:38:41,552
Hi. Yeah. Uh, the ginger
that works here,
849
00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:43,484
she works Tuesdays, no?
850
00:38:43,518 --> 00:38:45,952
- Ginger?
- Uh, red-haired girl.
851
00:38:45,985 --> 00:38:47,918
- Raylee.
- Raylee, yeah.
852
00:38:47,952 --> 00:38:50,785
I called her ginger,
but Raylee. Yeah, Raylee.
853
00:38:50,818 --> 00:38:52,651
- Are you friend of hers?
- Very good friends with her,
854
00:38:52,685 --> 00:38:53,852
I just wanted
to come say "hi."
855
00:38:53,885 --> 00:38:57,552
I always get Tuesdays and
Wednesdays mixed up. So...
856
00:38:57,586 --> 00:38:59,085
Yeah, she doesn't
work Tuesdays.
857
00:38:59,118 --> 00:39:01,552
Right, okay. Yeah,
I'll just give her a call
858
00:39:01,585 --> 00:39:02,785
or a text or whatever.
859
00:39:06,451 --> 00:39:08,685
But... But she does
work Wednesdays, right?
860
00:39:08,718 --> 00:39:12,118
- Yeah, she works Wednesdays.
- Okay. Okay. Thought so, yeah.
861
00:39:12,152 --> 00:39:14,651
- You want a donut?
- Uh, how much?
862
00:39:16,918 --> 00:39:18,818
Mm.
863
00:39:28,685 --> 00:39:30,052
Top of the morning
to ya.
864
00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:31,618
Good morning, sir.
What can I grab you?
865
00:39:31,651 --> 00:39:34,052
Uh, it's Mikey, not sir.
I'm not that old.
866
00:39:34,085 --> 00:39:35,685
All right,
pleased to meet you, Mikey.
867
00:39:35,718 --> 00:39:37,485
- What's your name?
- Uh, Raylee.
868
00:39:37,519 --> 00:39:39,985
Raylee,
that's a beautiful name.
869
00:39:40,018 --> 00:39:42,585
- What do you recommend?
- Depends on what you like.
870
00:39:42,618 --> 00:39:44,685
- Um, custard one is good.
- Mm.
871
00:39:44,718 --> 00:39:47,384
- Jelly is sweet.
- Hmm.
872
00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:49,152
- Glazed is a favorite.
- Ooh, is that your favorite?
873
00:39:49,185 --> 00:39:50,618
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I might...
874
00:39:50,651 --> 00:39:52,052
I might have
to try that one.
875
00:39:52,085 --> 00:39:55,018
Uh, what did the donuts do
on their first date?
876
00:39:55,052 --> 00:39:56,418
I beg your pardon?
877
00:39:56,451 --> 00:39:57,718
What did the donuts do
on their first date?
878
00:39:57,751 --> 00:39:58,985
I don't know.
879
00:39:59,018 --> 00:40:00,118
They glazed
880
00:40:00,152 --> 00:40:01,485
into each other's eyes.
881
00:40:01,519 --> 00:40:03,384
That's so stupid.
882
00:40:03,418 --> 00:40:05,018
But I can't believe I haven't
heard that one before.
883
00:40:05,052 --> 00:40:06,551
Well, I wrote it,
you couldn't have heard it.
884
00:40:06,585 --> 00:40:08,384
I kinda write donut jokes
885
00:40:08,418 --> 00:40:10,985
on the side.
It's one of my many talents.
886
00:40:11,018 --> 00:40:12,185
- Okay.
- Yeah. But I'm thinkin',
887
00:40:12,219 --> 00:40:14,751
I don't know,
maybe I'll just go with the chocolate,
888
00:40:14,785 --> 00:40:16,718
and gotta get
some milk with...
889
00:40:16,751 --> 00:40:18,985
Oh, you guys go ahead,
I'm gonna need a minute.
890
00:40:19,018 --> 00:40:20,952
- Thank you, buddy.
- Hey. What can I grab ya?
891
00:40:20,985 --> 00:40:22,852
I would like
a large coffee, please.
892
00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:25,651
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, one hazel cream,
893
00:40:25,685 --> 00:40:27,685
- and two chocolate donuts.
- Okay.
894
00:40:28,618 --> 00:40:29,985
Help yourself
to the cream.
895
00:40:30,018 --> 00:40:31,485
And what can I get
for you, sir?
896
00:40:31,518 --> 00:40:33,419
I'll get a coffee black,
897
00:40:33,452 --> 00:40:36,018
and a filled donut,
and that'll be it for me.
898
00:40:36,052 --> 00:40:37,485
Sweet. Can they share
the same bag?
899
00:40:37,518 --> 00:40:38,985
- Yes, that's fine.
- All right.
900
00:40:40,018 --> 00:40:41,085
Good to conserve.
901
00:40:41,118 --> 00:40:42,651
All righty,
and your coffee
902
00:40:42,685 --> 00:40:44,751
is coming right up, sir.
903
00:40:46,484 --> 00:40:48,551
- Good morning.
- What's the damage?
904
00:40:48,585 --> 00:40:50,785
Uh... $6.32.
905
00:40:50,818 --> 00:40:52,419
- Here you go.
- Out of ten.
906
00:40:59,484 --> 00:41:01,885
Hey, Ms. Phan, can I get
some help out here?
907
00:41:01,918 --> 00:41:03,918
- Thank you.
- Oh!
908
00:41:03,952 --> 00:41:06,685
- Oh, there's your tip.
- Thank you.
909
00:41:06,718 --> 00:41:07,985
Next customer, please.
910
00:41:08,018 --> 00:41:10,085
Hey, when do things
slow down around here?
911
00:41:10,118 --> 00:41:12,451
- Uh, excuse me?
- What time does it wind down?
912
00:41:12,484 --> 00:41:14,618
Uh, we are slammed
until, like, 2:00-ish.
913
00:41:14,651 --> 00:41:15,818
I'll see you at 2:00.
914
00:41:15,852 --> 00:41:17,685
- Next customer, please.
- Okay.
915
00:41:17,718 --> 00:41:19,585
I'm sorry about that.
Uh, what would you like?
916
00:41:38,818 --> 00:41:41,018
I'm back,
just like I promised.
917
00:41:41,052 --> 00:41:42,018
I'm a man of my word,
918
00:41:42,052 --> 00:41:44,685
so, in the future,
you can always rely on me.
919
00:41:44,718 --> 00:41:46,685
Mm. Back to tell
more donut jokes?
920
00:41:46,718 --> 00:41:49,385
No, that was actually
the only donut joke I had,
921
00:41:49,418 --> 00:41:51,118
and it took me a very
long time to write that one.
922
00:41:51,152 --> 00:41:52,651
It's all I got.
Why, do you have any?
923
00:41:52,685 --> 00:41:54,718
Actually, I do.
924
00:41:54,751 --> 00:41:58,518
Um, what do you call
a Jamaican donut?
925
00:41:59,985 --> 00:42:02,718
Hmm, I like where this is going.
Give me a minute.
926
00:42:02,751 --> 00:42:05,585
Uh, Jamaican donut, huh?
I'm stumped.
927
00:42:06,418 --> 00:42:09,018
Cinnamaan.
928
00:42:09,052 --> 00:42:10,451
- I got to go.
- No.
929
00:42:10,484 --> 00:42:11,785
No, no, seriously,
that was really...
930
00:42:11,818 --> 00:42:13,484
That hurt my feelings,
that was terrible.
931
00:42:13,518 --> 00:42:15,518
That's okay, I forgive you.
932
00:42:15,551 --> 00:42:18,484
- So Raylee, I'm thinking...
- Call me Strawberry.
933
00:42:20,585 --> 00:42:22,384
- Call you what?
- Strawberry.
934
00:42:22,418 --> 00:42:23,518
- Strawberry?
- Mm-hmm.
935
00:42:23,551 --> 00:42:25,451
- Everybody calls me that.
- You're kidding.
936
00:42:25,985 --> 00:42:28,085
Okay. How old are you?
937
00:42:28,118 --> 00:42:29,952
- Who's asking?
- Me.
938
00:42:29,985 --> 00:42:31,651
- Why?
- Come on.
939
00:42:31,685 --> 00:42:33,918
- I'm old enough.
- For what?
940
00:42:35,451 --> 00:42:39,551
Oh, God. I'll be 18
in three weeks, okay?
941
00:42:39,585 --> 00:42:41,585
I knew it,
you're too old for me.
942
00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:45,085
Anyway, Strawberry.
943
00:42:45,118 --> 00:42:47,052
I can't believe that's
your name
944
00:42:47,085 --> 00:42:48,651
I don't know
what donut to get.
945
00:42:48,685 --> 00:42:49,651
I need your help.
946
00:42:49,685 --> 00:42:52,451
I really like the look
of those donut holes.
947
00:42:52,484 --> 00:42:53,585
And those, you know...
948
00:42:53,618 --> 00:42:55,818
Do you frost, do you do the
sprinkles, do you do those?
949
00:42:55,852 --> 00:42:56,785
How... Who makes them?
950
00:42:56,818 --> 00:42:58,918
I do the sprinkles,
and I fill the cream.
951
00:42:58,952 --> 00:43:00,018
- You fill the cream.
- Yeah.
952
00:43:00,052 --> 00:43:01,085
I just want the ones
that you make.
953
00:43:01,118 --> 00:43:02,384
- Okay.
- I want the ones
954
00:43:02,418 --> 00:43:03,551
that you cream-filled.
955
00:43:03,585 --> 00:43:05,152
Does that sound...
Oh, I don't want to get you in trouble.
956
00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,918
I'm thinking
maybe a chocolate round,
957
00:43:08,952 --> 00:43:11,852
or maybe I'll get
a strawberry-filled.
958
00:43:11,885 --> 00:43:14,618
- No pun intended.
- Oh, God.
959
00:43:14,651 --> 00:43:16,484
I don't
think she likes me very much.
960
00:43:16,518 --> 00:43:18,518
I don't think
she likes anyone very much.
961
00:43:18,551 --> 00:43:20,551
Yeah,
she's a mean boss.
962
00:43:20,585 --> 00:43:22,651
Anyway, okay.
So, yes, I've decided.
963
00:43:22,685 --> 00:43:24,384
Chocolate round.
964
00:43:24,418 --> 00:43:27,685
Okay, but you want
chocolate sprinkles?
965
00:43:27,718 --> 00:43:29,384
Chocolate cake?
966
00:43:29,418 --> 00:43:30,785
Chocolate Bavarian cream?
967
00:43:30,818 --> 00:43:31,918
There's all those
different chocolates?
968
00:43:31,952 --> 00:43:33,018
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, no.
969
00:43:33,052 --> 00:43:34,384
Now I got to stay here
970
00:43:34,418 --> 00:43:35,551
for a few more hours
and decide.
971
00:43:35,585 --> 00:43:36,985
Son of a bitch.
972
00:43:37,018 --> 00:43:38,085
Are you trying
to keep me here?
973
00:43:38,118 --> 00:43:39,152
'Cause
I'll sit in the corner
974
00:43:39,185 --> 00:43:41,152
and contemplate this for
a while until you get off.
975
00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:42,118
What time do you get off?
976
00:43:42,152 --> 00:43:44,785
Oh, feels
so fucking good!
977
00:43:44,818 --> 00:43:46,918
Oh, shit! Fuck, yeah, babe!
978
00:43:46,952 --> 00:43:49,052
- Yeah, you like that shit?
- Oh, yeah.
979
00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:50,751
You like that big dick
inside of you,
980
00:43:50,785 --> 00:43:52,484
- you fucking little slut.
- God, I love this big dick.
981
00:43:54,718 --> 00:43:57,918
- Not bad, huh?
- No, not bad at all.
982
00:43:57,952 --> 00:44:00,818
And I didn't even have to take
one of my magic pills. Hmm.
983
00:44:03,418 --> 00:44:06,018
Uh, I didn't know
you were usin' 'em.
984
00:44:06,052 --> 00:44:07,785
- Well, yeah.
- Oh.
985
00:44:07,818 --> 00:44:10,785
You remember how hard it is
to keep wood on set all day.
986
00:44:10,818 --> 00:44:12,785
Yeah.
987
00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:15,518
Remember when Kristina Rose
almost broke it off?
988
00:44:15,551 --> 00:44:17,152
I do. I do.
989
00:44:17,185 --> 00:44:19,085
I'm surprised
it even works at all.
990
00:44:19,118 --> 00:44:21,118
Oh, it sure works.
991
00:44:21,152 --> 00:44:23,751
Oh, yeah.
992
00:44:27,484 --> 00:44:29,685
Love the exterior
decorating, sir.
993
00:44:29,718 --> 00:44:30,751
It's looking spiffy.
994
00:44:38,651 --> 00:44:40,618
All right, Dad,
we'll be back around 5:00.
995
00:44:44,885 --> 00:44:47,052
You think
he remembers me?
996
00:44:47,085 --> 00:44:49,818
Man,
ever since my mom died,
997
00:44:49,852 --> 00:44:52,651
all he cares about is keeping
this place immaculate.
998
00:44:54,484 --> 00:44:56,418
Matter of fact,
I've been screwed out
999
00:44:56,451 --> 00:44:58,585
of Male Performer of the year
literally five times.
1000
00:44:58,618 --> 00:44:59,952
But you know what?
1001
00:44:59,985 --> 00:45:01,384
I don't say shit,
it's all good.
1002
00:45:01,418 --> 00:45:02,618
I'm a team player.
1003
00:45:02,651 --> 00:45:03,918
Almost every single girl
I did a scene with
1004
00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:05,718
started fucking me
off-camera, right?
1005
00:45:05,751 --> 00:45:07,018
But the agents hate that shit.
1006
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:08,852
But what do they expect?
You know?
1007
00:45:08,885 --> 00:45:10,885
It's like, girl comes by
my model house,
1008
00:45:10,918 --> 00:45:13,418
they see my Hall of Fame
trophy on the mantelpiece.
1009
00:45:13,451 --> 00:45:15,985
They're like, "Oh, my God.
He's famous for fucking."
1010
00:45:16,018 --> 00:45:17,785
Wait,
you used to have your own model house?
1011
00:45:17,818 --> 00:45:19,818
I had three
model houses, bro.
1012
00:45:19,852 --> 00:45:23,618
And the last one...
Ooh, that was a savage-ass house.
1013
00:45:23,651 --> 00:45:25,952
Till I started letting agents
book bottom bitches in there.
1014
00:45:25,985 --> 00:45:27,118
Bottom bitches?
1015
00:45:27,153 --> 00:45:28,418
Yeah, bottom bitches
1016
00:45:28,451 --> 00:45:29,585
are technically
the best of the hookers,
1017
00:45:29,618 --> 00:45:30,852
but they're
still the hookers,
1018
00:45:30,885 --> 00:45:31,952
and that's what
they started sending me,
1019
00:45:31,985 --> 00:45:33,153
was the fucking hookers.
1020
00:45:33,186 --> 00:45:34,285
And that's when
everything went to shit.
1021
00:45:34,319 --> 00:45:37,451
'Cause see, once a porn chick
gets a hooker mentality,
1022
00:45:37,484 --> 00:45:38,918
they become
a fucking nightmare.
1023
00:45:38,952 --> 00:45:40,885
A real pain in my ass.
1024
00:45:40,918 --> 00:45:42,384
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1025
00:45:42,418 --> 00:45:44,618
Dude, I forgot how hot
Gulf Coast bitches are.
1026
00:45:44,651 --> 00:45:46,718
I saw this girl over by the
donut shop at the refinery.
1027
00:45:46,751 --> 00:45:48,119
She works there,
smokin' hot.
1028
00:45:48,153 --> 00:45:49,451
Gorgeous,
drop dead gorgeous.
1029
00:45:49,484 --> 00:45:52,018
And get this,
17 years old.
1030
00:45:52,052 --> 00:45:54,052
Legal as an eagle.
1031
00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:55,685
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1032
00:45:59,052 --> 00:46:01,651
Hey, man, see that strip
of land over there?
1033
00:46:01,685 --> 00:46:03,052
Yeah?
1034
00:46:03,085 --> 00:46:05,518
Them's the Texas
Killing Fields, brother.
1035
00:46:12,852 --> 00:46:14,384
- Strawberry?
- Yeah?
1036
00:46:14,418 --> 00:46:16,818
- You blaze, right?
- Why, are you a cop?
1037
00:46:16,852 --> 00:46:19,384
- Let's go smoke one.
- Hmm.
1038
00:46:19,418 --> 00:46:21,985
Hey, Ms. Phan.
Can I take my ten?
1039
00:46:34,618 --> 00:46:37,018
So,
what do you do in LA?
1040
00:46:37,052 --> 00:46:39,618
- I'm in entertainment.
- I knew it.
1041
00:46:39,651 --> 00:46:42,018
You have that Hollywood vibe.
1042
00:46:42,053 --> 00:46:43,718
- Yeah, you think?
- Yeah.
1043
00:46:43,751 --> 00:46:44,852
Oh.
1044
00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:47,351
So,
what do you do in entertainment?
1045
00:46:47,952 --> 00:46:49,952
Manager
slash agent.
1046
00:46:49,985 --> 00:46:51,053
Like, for actors?
1047
00:46:51,086 --> 00:46:53,751
Yeah.
That weed is good, right?
1048
00:46:53,785 --> 00:46:54,885
If you
or your friends want any,
1049
00:46:54,918 --> 00:46:57,018
I can get a whole bunch more,
no problem.
1050
00:46:59,518 --> 00:47:01,451
So...
1051
00:47:01,484 --> 00:47:04,152
You live in Hollywood,
managing actors,
1052
00:47:04,185 --> 00:47:07,551
but you're in Texas City,
riding a bike,
1053
00:47:07,585 --> 00:47:09,918
sellin' weed, and hittin'
on high schoolers?
1054
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,952
Well, my Camaro is in LA.
1055
00:47:11,985 --> 00:47:14,585
You know, I wasn't going
to drive all the way to Texas,
1056
00:47:14,618 --> 00:47:15,952
it's like
a three-day drive.
1057
00:47:17,152 --> 00:47:18,818
All right, look,
1058
00:47:18,852 --> 00:47:20,085
I'm here taking care
of my mom.
1059
00:47:20,118 --> 00:47:21,852
All right?
She's not doing too well.
1060
00:47:23,785 --> 00:47:24,918
I'm sorry.
1061
00:47:24,952 --> 00:47:26,718
It's all right.
1062
00:47:26,751 --> 00:47:27,852
But you're a good son
1063
00:47:27,885 --> 00:47:29,718
- for being there for your mom.
- I am.
1064
00:47:32,152 --> 00:47:34,618
By the way,
who smokes joints anymore?
1065
00:47:34,651 --> 00:47:37,118
That's so old man-y.
1066
00:47:37,152 --> 00:47:39,484
That was fun, we should
do that again sometime.
1067
00:47:39,518 --> 00:47:41,019
Yeah, I'll smoke
your weed anytime.
1068
00:47:42,785 --> 00:47:44,852
Hey, by the way,
you can move all your shit
1069
00:47:44,885 --> 00:47:46,918
on the hardhats
from the refinery.
1070
00:47:46,952 --> 00:47:48,418
I see them
at the end of their shift,
1071
00:47:48,451 --> 00:47:49,986
and they want
to kill themselves.
1072
00:47:51,152 --> 00:47:52,585
See you later, alligator.
1073
00:47:52,618 --> 00:47:54,418
In a while, crocodile.
1074
00:48:03,986 --> 00:48:06,019
Did the dress designer
1075
00:48:06,052 --> 00:48:07,952
cause a prom queen
to be late for the ball?
1076
00:48:07,986 --> 00:48:09,219
I went there,
all he had
1077
00:48:09,252 --> 00:48:12,384
was the cut-out fabric
and the applique sewn on.
1078
00:48:12,418 --> 00:48:14,019
That's all he had...
1079
00:48:14,052 --> 00:48:16,685
- Oh! Oh, shit!
- Oh, my gosh.
1080
00:48:16,718 --> 00:48:18,418
I'm sorry!
1081
00:48:18,451 --> 00:48:20,818
Sorry, Lil. Aw, man!
1082
00:48:23,852 --> 00:48:25,751
I thought you found
my couch comfy.
1083
00:48:25,785 --> 00:48:27,885
Oh, I do, I just...
I sleep au naturel.
1084
00:48:28,852 --> 00:48:30,518
- Cut the shit.
- My bad.
1085
00:48:39,685 --> 00:48:41,484
Mikey.
1086
00:48:41,518 --> 00:48:42,618
All seriousness.
1087
00:48:42,651 --> 00:48:45,518
I appreciate you
taking care of the bills.
1088
00:48:45,551 --> 00:48:49,018
That way it keeps Lexi from
being on the Craigslist.
1089
00:48:50,651 --> 00:48:51,852
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
1090
00:48:51,885 --> 00:48:53,052
Yeah, I understand...
Yeah.
1091
00:48:53,085 --> 00:48:56,618
So, I need to know,
are you in or out?
1092
00:48:57,052 --> 00:48:58,919
If you're in,
1093
00:48:58,953 --> 00:49:00,785
I welcome you here.
1094
00:49:00,818 --> 00:49:02,018
All right, okay, great.
1095
00:49:02,052 --> 00:49:03,085
'Cause if you're out,
1096
00:49:03,118 --> 00:49:04,152
don't let the door hit you
in the ass.
1097
00:49:04,185 --> 00:49:05,852
No, no. I'm in. I'm in.
1098
00:49:05,885 --> 00:49:07,852
- Okay, fine.
- I'm paying the fucking rent,
1099
00:49:07,885 --> 00:49:10,885
- I pay for groceries...
- This is about my baby.
1100
00:49:10,919 --> 00:49:12,618
I don't want her
getting hurt anymore.
1101
00:49:12,651 --> 00:49:15,685
I don't want her
doin' clients anymore.
1102
00:49:15,718 --> 00:49:16,852
It's too dangerous.
1103
00:49:16,885 --> 00:49:19,118
I never know
when she's coming home.
1104
00:49:20,484 --> 00:49:21,785
So, it's up to you.
1105
00:49:23,518 --> 00:49:24,953
I'm in.
1106
00:49:24,985 --> 00:49:26,351
Okay? I'm in.
1107
00:49:27,751 --> 00:49:30,618
- Okay. Good, good. Good.
- I'm here, all right?
1108
00:49:31,985 --> 00:49:33,484
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1109
00:49:36,985 --> 00:49:40,018
Anything else?
Am I good to go?
1110
00:49:40,052 --> 00:49:42,919
Yes. As long as I don't see
your junk anymore.
1111
00:49:43,718 --> 00:49:45,018
Deal.
1112
00:49:45,052 --> 00:49:46,785
Your mom's still a trip.
1113
00:49:46,818 --> 00:49:48,018
I know.
1114
00:49:49,886 --> 00:49:51,685
- In a good way.
- Yeah.
1115
00:49:52,952 --> 00:49:54,118
She's a piece of work.
1116
00:50:00,551 --> 00:50:01,418
That smoke stack,
1117
00:50:01,451 --> 00:50:03,551
second one from the left,
is that new?
1118
00:50:03,585 --> 00:50:04,651
Has that
always been there?
1119
00:50:04,685 --> 00:50:06,551
No, that's always
been there.
1120
00:50:06,585 --> 00:50:07,751
- Really?
- Yeah.
1121
00:50:07,785 --> 00:50:08,818
Don't remember.
1122
00:50:08,853 --> 00:50:10,451
And Ma calls that one
ol' smokey.
1123
00:50:10,484 --> 00:50:11,618
Oh.
1124
00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:21,518
It's my ex's truck.
1125
00:50:23,085 --> 00:50:25,351
He was supposed to pick
it up two years ago.
1126
00:50:27,085 --> 00:50:28,451
Still hasn't.
1127
00:50:37,551 --> 00:50:38,819
Just needs new wheels.
1128
00:50:41,985 --> 00:50:43,685
Well, I know
you guys get tested,
1129
00:50:43,718 --> 00:50:46,618
which is why I got this,
synthetic piss.
1130
00:50:46,651 --> 00:50:48,551
I'll throw it in free
with an ounce,
1131
00:50:48,585 --> 00:50:49,518
other than that,
10 bucks a pop.
1132
00:50:49,551 --> 00:50:51,551
But, yeah, I got you
if you guys ever need it.
1133
00:50:51,585 --> 00:50:53,618
You know, I don't want you
guys getting fired and shit.
1134
00:50:53,651 --> 00:50:54,785
Don't drink it.
1135
00:50:54,819 --> 00:50:55,985
I mean...
1136
00:50:56,018 --> 00:50:57,085
Unless you're into that kind of
shit, right?
1137
00:50:58,418 --> 00:50:59,451
Good night, Ms. Phan!
1138
00:50:59,484 --> 00:51:00,751
- Good night.
- Good night.
1139
00:51:02,651 --> 00:51:04,618
See you later, alligator.
1140
00:51:04,651 --> 00:51:05,853
Do you want a ride home?
1141
00:51:05,885 --> 00:51:08,018
- No, I'm good.
- Throw it in the back.
1142
00:51:08,052 --> 00:51:09,985
Uh, well...
1143
00:51:10,018 --> 00:51:11,351
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Throw it in the back.
1144
00:51:11,751 --> 00:51:12,852
Okay.
1145
00:51:16,484 --> 00:51:19,052
- Which way?
- Uh, go left here. Go left.
1146
00:51:19,085 --> 00:51:20,451
We're getting close.
1147
00:51:22,085 --> 00:51:24,384
I really appreciate you
driving me home.
1148
00:51:24,418 --> 00:51:25,685
Mm-hmm.
1149
00:51:26,484 --> 00:51:28,384
It's a nice area, huh?
1150
00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:29,518
Yeah, it's fancy.
1151
00:51:29,551 --> 00:51:30,418
I just wanted
to buy my mom
1152
00:51:30,451 --> 00:51:33,052
something nice
to retire in, you know?
1153
00:51:33,085 --> 00:51:34,451
That's real sweet of you.
1154
00:51:34,484 --> 00:51:35,585
Yeah.
1155
00:51:35,618 --> 00:51:37,152
All right.
Yeah, it's right up here.
1156
00:51:37,185 --> 00:51:39,551
Hey, we're getting... Yep.
Right up there. There it is.
1157
00:51:41,518 --> 00:51:42,885
Maybe we'll...
Can you turn it down?
1158
00:51:42,918 --> 00:51:44,786
'Cause we don't...
I don't want to wake up my mom.
1159
00:51:44,818 --> 00:51:46,718
Yeah. Whoa,
this is fancy.
1160
00:51:46,752 --> 00:51:48,018
Yeah, it's nice.
1161
00:51:49,018 --> 00:51:51,651
I'd invite you in,
but like I said,
1162
00:51:51,685 --> 00:51:53,052
you know,
my mom's feelin' sick
1163
00:51:53,085 --> 00:51:54,985
and she don't take
too kindly to strangers.
1164
00:51:55,018 --> 00:51:57,685
She's just not all there,
up there right now.
1165
00:51:57,718 --> 00:51:58,752
No. Yeah.
1166
00:51:58,786 --> 00:52:00,152
Probably not
a good idea, anyway.
1167
00:52:00,185 --> 00:52:02,018
Yeah.
So thanks for the ride.
1168
00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:04,152
Anytime.
I work on Wednesday.
1169
00:52:04,185 --> 00:52:06,384
Oh, well,
I'll see you Wednesday.
1170
00:52:06,418 --> 00:52:07,451
- Okay.
- Okay.
1171
00:52:39,518 --> 00:52:40,719
Look, I'm just glad
1172
00:52:40,752 --> 00:52:42,052
weed is still illegal
in Texas.
1173
00:52:42,085 --> 00:52:44,085
You guys have no idea
how hard it is
1174
00:52:44,118 --> 00:52:46,518
to move flower
in Cali right now.
1175
00:52:46,551 --> 00:52:47,518
I mean, yeah, you know,
1176
00:52:47,551 --> 00:52:49,451
selling it to the bitches
at my model house,
1177
00:52:49,484 --> 00:52:52,052
but besides that,
felons and illegals.
1178
00:52:53,818 --> 00:52:56,885
Hey, don't mess
with big oil.
1179
00:52:56,918 --> 00:53:00,018
TCPD kittens next
to those Valero guys.
1180
00:53:00,052 --> 00:53:01,618
That goes without saying,
1181
00:53:01,651 --> 00:53:03,818
but you know,
keeping it on the DL
1182
00:53:03,852 --> 00:53:05,719
has been the secret to my
success all these years.
1183
00:53:05,751 --> 00:53:07,384
How do you think
I stayed out of prison?
1184
00:53:07,418 --> 00:53:08,918
How do you think
I never got shot?
1185
00:53:08,952 --> 00:53:10,085
Mom,
where's the hot sauce?
1186
00:53:10,118 --> 00:53:12,052
Where the hell
it always been.
1187
00:53:13,551 --> 00:53:15,118
No hot sauce, Mom.
I don't see it.
1188
00:53:15,152 --> 00:53:16,418
Did you look
in your bedroom?
1189
00:53:16,451 --> 00:53:17,518
You were
eatin' pizza there...
1190
00:53:17,551 --> 00:53:18,451
- Oh, my God, Mom.
- ...the other night.
1191
00:53:18,484 --> 00:53:19,719
I don't... I can't...
Where's the hot sauce?
1192
00:53:19,751 --> 00:53:21,018
Why would he take it
into his room?
1193
00:53:21,052 --> 00:53:22,719
You're laughin',
but you were eatin' pizza there.
1194
00:53:22,751 --> 00:53:24,686
Mom, I've checked everywhere
in the kitchen!
1195
00:53:24,718 --> 00:53:26,152
Where's the hot sauce?
Hey, man.
1196
00:53:26,185 --> 00:53:27,652
What are you lookin' at?
This ain't got nothin' to do
1197
00:53:27,686 --> 00:53:28,686
- with you.
- Fine.
1198
00:53:29,918 --> 00:53:31,952
The world would
collapse without me.
1199
00:53:34,718 --> 00:53:36,518
Did you check
under your bed?
1200
00:53:36,551 --> 00:53:39,686
Hey, yo. So, I heard
you do porn or something.
1201
00:53:39,718 --> 00:53:40,818
Five AVNs.
1202
00:53:41,852 --> 00:53:43,551
What? That's an STD?
1203
00:53:43,585 --> 00:53:45,418
No, no, no.
It's the, uh...
1204
00:53:45,451 --> 00:53:46,618
It's the Adult Film Awards,
1205
00:53:46,652 --> 00:53:49,052
it's like the Academy Awards
for what I do.
1206
00:53:49,085 --> 00:53:51,085
- Okay, man. That's what's up.
- Yep.
1207
00:53:51,118 --> 00:53:53,018
Best Oral
three years in a row.
1208
00:53:53,052 --> 00:53:54,952
- Best oral?
- Yep!
1209
00:53:55,718 --> 00:53:56,985
Just one question.
1210
00:53:57,018 --> 00:53:58,852
Ain't that
about getting head?
1211
00:53:58,885 --> 00:54:00,685
Well, I mean...
1212
00:54:00,718 --> 00:54:02,685
Yeah, something like that.
1213
00:54:02,718 --> 00:54:04,652
So, then what they got
to do with you?
1214
00:54:04,685 --> 00:54:07,551
It's not like you're the one
doing any work or anything.
1215
00:54:07,585 --> 00:54:09,852
I'm not doing the work?
1216
00:54:09,885 --> 00:54:11,751
Sister,
let me tell you somethin'.
1217
00:54:11,785 --> 00:54:13,085
Hey, man,
don't call me sister.
1218
00:54:13,118 --> 00:54:15,085
Oh, my bad.
June, right, it's June?
1219
00:54:15,118 --> 00:54:16,384
All right, June, look,
1220
00:54:16,418 --> 00:54:18,518
if I won three years in a row,
with three different girls,
1221
00:54:18,551 --> 00:54:20,685
the chances of it being
the girl is pretty limited.
1222
00:54:20,718 --> 00:54:22,085
Think about it.
1223
00:54:22,118 --> 00:54:23,018
No, seriously, look.
1224
00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:25,118
I'm the one guiding
the girl in the scene.
1225
00:54:25,152 --> 00:54:26,852
Essentially
I'm face-fucking her.
1226
00:54:26,885 --> 00:54:28,451
Pardon my language.
1227
00:54:28,484 --> 00:54:31,619
So the female really has
nothing to do with it.
1228
00:54:31,651 --> 00:54:32,718
You know, I'm the one
that's holding her head
1229
00:54:32,751 --> 00:54:35,384
for like 15 or 20 minutes
while I'm force-fucking her,
1230
00:54:35,418 --> 00:54:36,885
so how is that about her,
exactly?
1231
00:54:36,918 --> 00:54:38,152
- I got it, man.
- No, seriously.
1232
00:54:38,185 --> 00:54:39,818
Look, it's about
the shit I say,
1233
00:54:39,852 --> 00:54:41,619
the way I hold her face
towards the camera
1234
00:54:41,651 --> 00:54:43,619
while she spits,
and drools all over herself,
1235
00:54:43,651 --> 00:54:45,751
and I pinch her nose
and make her gag.
1236
00:54:45,785 --> 00:54:47,785
- It's all technique.
- I said I got it.
1237
00:55:26,718 --> 00:55:29,118
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
1238
00:55:29,152 --> 00:55:30,751
Thanks, D.
1239
00:55:31,785 --> 00:55:34,685
Man, this place
is off the chain.
1240
00:55:34,718 --> 00:55:36,818
Thank you so much
for hooking this up.
1241
00:55:36,852 --> 00:55:38,118
My pleasure.
1242
00:55:38,918 --> 00:55:41,418
So tell me more about LA.
1243
00:55:43,118 --> 00:55:45,085
Maybe you should find out
for yourself.
1244
00:55:45,118 --> 00:55:46,818
You think
I have the money to go?
1245
00:55:48,918 --> 00:55:51,118
You got a truck,
you can go anytime you want.
1246
00:55:51,152 --> 00:55:52,852
That's my mama's truck.
1247
00:55:52,885 --> 00:55:57,118
She just let's me use it
'cause she works from home.
1248
00:55:57,152 --> 00:56:01,118
Well, when I left Texas City,
I didn't have a dime.
1249
00:56:01,152 --> 00:56:03,052
I just said to myself,
1250
00:56:03,085 --> 00:56:05,018
"Mikey, one day,
you're gonna own this town."
1251
00:56:05,052 --> 00:56:06,585
And I just went for it,
you know?
1252
00:56:07,918 --> 00:56:09,118
Mm.
1253
00:56:10,185 --> 00:56:11,885
What is he doing
behind the counter?
1254
00:56:11,918 --> 00:56:14,052
He's going to help me
with my SAT prep.
1255
00:56:14,852 --> 00:56:16,384
No free donuts.
1256
00:56:16,918 --> 00:56:18,418
Thank you.
1257
00:56:20,451 --> 00:56:24,585
So you were saying something
about just going for it.
1258
00:56:27,685 --> 00:56:29,751
Are you trying
to get fired?
1259
00:56:29,785 --> 00:56:31,384
I'm trying to get hired.
1260
00:56:34,985 --> 00:56:38,152
Are you going to help me
score high on my SATs?
1261
00:56:38,185 --> 00:56:39,952
You get 600 points
1262
00:56:39,985 --> 00:56:41,485
just for signing your name,
you know?
1263
00:56:41,519 --> 00:56:43,551
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1264
00:56:45,852 --> 00:56:47,618
Hiya! What can I
get for ya today?
1265
00:56:47,651 --> 00:56:48,952
Hi, sweetie.
Can I get, uh, two...
1266
00:56:48,985 --> 00:56:51,718
Two chocolate covered
donuts and a medium coffee?
1267
00:56:51,751 --> 00:56:53,118
All right.
1268
00:56:53,152 --> 00:56:54,618
Good afternoon, sir.
1269
00:57:00,818 --> 00:57:03,118
You're crazy,
you know that?
1270
00:57:03,152 --> 00:57:05,618
You could have just
waited until now, you know?
1271
00:57:05,651 --> 00:57:07,118
Where's the fun in that?
1272
00:57:07,152 --> 00:57:08,384
Hmm.
1273
00:57:12,852 --> 00:57:13,918
Come here.
1274
00:57:35,085 --> 00:57:36,484
Yo, Lonnie!
1275
00:57:37,618 --> 00:57:38,685
Wait up!
1276
00:57:39,718 --> 00:57:40,952
What's up, man?
1277
00:57:40,985 --> 00:57:42,718
What up, big dog,
where you going?
1278
00:57:42,751 --> 00:57:44,585
Man, some errands.
I got to go to the mall,
1279
00:57:44,618 --> 00:57:46,385
- stuff like that.
- Mm.
1280
00:57:46,419 --> 00:57:48,118
Cool. Cool.
I'm rolling with you.
1281
00:57:48,152 --> 00:57:50,952
Uh, just warning you, man,
I'm gonna be gone all day.
1282
00:57:50,985 --> 00:57:53,551
Just, uh...
So if you don't want to go,
1283
00:57:53,585 --> 00:57:54,551
- I mean...
- Whatever.
1284
00:57:54,585 --> 00:57:56,385
I just got to get the fuck out
of here. Let's go.
1285
00:57:56,419 --> 00:57:59,385
She's smokin' hot.
She made the first move.
1286
00:57:59,419 --> 00:58:00,385
She's got no dad.
1287
00:58:00,419 --> 00:58:02,985
And here's the kicker,
she lets me sell weed
1288
00:58:03,018 --> 00:58:05,385
to the hardhats at her work.
1289
00:58:05,419 --> 00:58:06,952
I mean, does it get
any better than this?
1290
00:58:10,018 --> 00:58:11,518
I didn't know you served.
1291
00:58:11,551 --> 00:58:13,918
Uh... Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I did, man.
1292
00:58:16,052 --> 00:58:17,785
Thank you
for your service.
1293
00:58:17,818 --> 00:58:19,785
Yeah, man, no, uh...
No problem.
1294
00:58:23,484 --> 00:58:27,484
Man, this place ain't changed
much in 15 years, Lonnie.
1295
00:58:27,518 --> 00:58:28,852
Yeah, I know,
for real, man.
1296
00:58:28,885 --> 00:58:30,685
Hey, um...
1297
00:58:30,718 --> 00:58:32,018
I think I'm going to be
hanging out over here
1298
00:58:32,052 --> 00:58:33,118
- for a while, okay?
- Okay.
1299
00:58:33,152 --> 00:58:35,018
Yeah, I'll meet you back here in
30, all right?
1300
00:58:35,052 --> 00:58:36,085
- Thirty minutes?
- Yeah, thirty.
1301
00:58:36,118 --> 00:58:36,952
All right, sounds good.
1302
00:58:49,052 --> 00:58:50,852
Oh, shit!
1303
00:58:52,585 --> 00:58:53,651
Ah...
1304
00:58:58,085 --> 00:58:59,518
Oh!
1305
00:59:01,185 --> 00:59:02,384
Whoo.
1306
00:59:05,418 --> 00:59:06,585
Oh, come on...
1307
00:59:10,518 --> 00:59:11,785
Whoo!
1308
00:59:11,818 --> 00:59:13,751
So what's
this one, then?
1309
00:59:13,785 --> 00:59:15,985
Uh, that's the one I got
when I was in Afghanistan.
1310
00:59:16,018 --> 00:59:18,718
And, uh, that's for
my three tours in Iraq.
1311
00:59:18,751 --> 00:59:20,118
Bullshit.
You're not even wearing
1312
00:59:20,152 --> 00:59:22,418
the proper
infantry uniform.
1313
00:59:22,451 --> 00:59:23,985
Well, yeah,
of course I am.
1314
00:59:27,918 --> 00:59:29,551
What's
the Army Uniform Regulation?
1315
00:59:29,585 --> 00:59:31,152
The code.
1316
00:59:31,185 --> 00:59:32,985
Uh, to do my best,
1317
00:59:33,018 --> 00:59:35,751
to do my duty
and to serve my country.
1318
00:59:36,852 --> 00:59:39,585
You sure
it's not AR670-1?
1319
00:59:39,618 --> 00:59:41,818
Uh, well,
as you guys know,
1320
00:59:41,852 --> 00:59:44,085
there's a lot of different
codes in the military.
1321
00:59:44,118 --> 00:59:46,384
Stolen valor
right here, folks.
1322
00:59:46,418 --> 00:59:49,785
This man is not a veteran.
He's a fake and a fraud.
1323
00:59:49,818 --> 00:59:51,618
Give me those back,
those are mine.
1324
00:59:51,651 --> 00:59:53,484
- Take your jacket off.
- This is bullshit,
1325
00:59:53,518 --> 00:59:54,685
what do I have to do to
convince y'all this is from...
1326
00:59:54,718 --> 00:59:57,018
Take it off or I'm
gonna fucking kick your ass.
1327
01:00:03,085 --> 01:00:04,118
Hey, man.
1328
01:00:25,484 --> 01:00:27,985
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
1329
01:00:28,018 --> 01:00:29,618
Wait, what?
1330
01:00:29,651 --> 01:00:31,118
Really? I would think
someone in your position
1331
01:00:31,152 --> 01:00:32,351
would know what that means.
1332
01:00:33,551 --> 01:00:36,618
Oh, shit. Yeah, man,
I kinda had, like,
1333
01:00:36,651 --> 01:00:38,618
a little bathroom mishap
in there.
1334
01:00:38,651 --> 01:00:40,551
Oh, man,
little bathroom mishap.
1335
01:00:40,585 --> 01:00:42,651
Oh, you sure you didn't
get pushed in the fountain?
1336
01:00:43,618 --> 01:00:44,818
Shit.
1337
01:00:44,852 --> 01:00:46,451
You fucking saw that, man?
1338
01:00:46,484 --> 01:00:48,384
Dude, I saw the whole
fucking thing, bro!
1339
01:00:48,418 --> 01:00:49,351
You think I'm stupid?
1340
01:00:49,384 --> 01:00:51,085
I can't be associated
with that shit, bro!
1341
01:00:51,118 --> 01:00:53,052
That's fucked up,
that you would let me be a part
1342
01:00:53,085 --> 01:00:55,018
of your fucking
bullshit scheme, dude!
1343
01:00:55,052 --> 01:00:57,585
I'm fuckin' pissed!
Dude, what if someone recognized me?
1344
01:00:57,618 --> 01:01:00,384
People know who the fuck I am, dawg.
That's wack.
1345
01:01:00,418 --> 01:01:02,918
You need help, bro.
It's fucking scandalous, dude.
1346
01:01:04,918 --> 01:01:07,351
I'm sorry, man.
Shit, my bad.
1347
01:01:10,018 --> 01:01:14,418
♪ I'll see all my friends
In Hallelujah Square
1348
01:01:14,451 --> 01:01:19,484
♪ What a wonderful time
We'll all have up there
1349
01:01:19,518 --> 01:01:23,651
♪ We'll sing and praise Jesus
What a glory to share
1350
01:01:23,685 --> 01:01:28,384
♪ And you'll not see a cripple
In Hallelujah Square
1351
01:01:28,418 --> 01:01:33,818
♪ And we'll all live forever
In Hallelujah Square ♪
1352
01:01:33,852 --> 01:01:35,518
- Wow.
- Yes!
1353
01:01:35,551 --> 01:01:37,918
That dope sure makes
you guys religious, huh.
1354
01:02:10,885 --> 01:02:12,451
Just a friend.
1355
01:02:12,484 --> 01:02:14,818
Seems like
a very friendly friend.
1356
01:02:14,852 --> 01:02:17,384
Yeah. It's whatever.
1357
01:02:20,751 --> 01:02:22,685
So I blew him
at junior prom.
1358
01:02:23,718 --> 01:02:25,052
At junior prom?
1359
01:02:25,085 --> 01:02:27,751
No, not at, after.
You know what I mean.
1360
01:02:27,785 --> 01:02:29,751
Anyways,
I blew him at junior prom
1361
01:02:29,785 --> 01:02:32,085
and ever since then,
he's been clingy as fuck.
1362
01:02:32,119 --> 01:02:34,085
Is he stalking you?
1363
01:02:34,119 --> 01:02:36,618
No. No, we hang and shit.
1364
01:02:36,651 --> 01:02:39,351
- You fuckin' him?
- When I feel like it.
1365
01:02:39,952 --> 01:02:41,852
It's not
like a real thing.
1366
01:02:41,885 --> 01:02:43,351
This guy
thinks you're dating.
1367
01:02:44,018 --> 01:02:45,484
- No...
- Raylee,
1368
01:02:45,518 --> 01:02:47,518
- I need you inside!
- Okay!
1369
01:02:47,551 --> 01:02:49,818
And I told you
not to smoke in front.
1370
01:02:49,852 --> 01:02:50,918
Sorry.
1371
01:02:52,518 --> 01:02:53,618
So you gonna
keep fucking him?
1372
01:02:54,086 --> 01:02:55,918
That depends.
1373
01:02:55,952 --> 01:02:59,551
- Does he know that?
- Mm-mm!
1374
01:02:59,585 --> 01:03:01,618
All right,
what's this guy's name?
1375
01:03:01,651 --> 01:03:02,918
Nash.
1376
01:03:02,952 --> 01:03:04,685
Nash?
1377
01:03:04,718 --> 01:03:05,885
All right, look.
1378
01:03:05,918 --> 01:03:07,384
I think it's time
Nash got it
1379
01:03:07,418 --> 01:03:09,484
that you guys
aren't dating. Come on.
1380
01:03:09,518 --> 01:03:10,918
Wait, what?
1381
01:03:10,952 --> 01:03:12,651
God, this is crazy.
1382
01:03:12,685 --> 01:03:14,119
This is crazy,
this is insane.
1383
01:03:14,152 --> 01:03:15,818
I can't believe
we're doing this right now.
1384
01:03:15,852 --> 01:03:17,718
Like...
1385
01:03:17,751 --> 01:03:19,585
Like, maybe it's not
such a good idea, you know.
1386
01:03:19,618 --> 01:03:22,418
It'll be quick and easy,
he'll get the message.
1387
01:03:22,451 --> 01:03:24,018
Okay.
But no fightin', okay?
1388
01:03:24,053 --> 01:03:25,651
I just wanna
talk to him.
1389
01:03:25,685 --> 01:03:27,086
- You promise?
- Mm-hmm.
1390
01:03:28,118 --> 01:03:30,651
This is crazy.
1391
01:03:34,785 --> 01:03:36,751
- Now what?
- Is this the house?
1392
01:03:36,785 --> 01:03:38,685
- Yeah.
- Mm.
1393
01:03:38,718 --> 01:03:40,618
Oh, my God!
1394
01:03:51,651 --> 01:03:53,451
Wow, that's his mom?
1395
01:03:53,484 --> 01:03:54,918
Hello, ma'am,
would you be so kind
1396
01:03:54,952 --> 01:03:56,618
as to send
Nash out, please?
1397
01:03:59,451 --> 01:04:02,053
- Raylee?
- Hi, Mrs. Parker.
1398
01:04:08,651 --> 01:04:10,585
Nice necklace.
Fucking dork.
1399
01:04:14,685 --> 01:04:15,885
What is this?
What's going on?
1400
01:04:15,918 --> 01:04:18,518
Hey, buddy, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,
1401
01:04:18,551 --> 01:04:21,019
but
you ain't with Strawberry,
1402
01:04:21,053 --> 01:04:23,484
you never were,
she's with me now.
1403
01:04:23,518 --> 01:04:25,918
- You understand?
- Raylee, what is this?
1404
01:04:25,952 --> 01:04:27,152
I've been trying
to tell you, Nash.
1405
01:04:27,185 --> 01:04:28,918
All right, look, bro,
so you're not going to call her,
1406
01:04:28,952 --> 01:04:30,118
you're not going
to text her
1407
01:04:30,152 --> 01:04:31,484
and you're not going to go
by the Donut Hole anymore,
1408
01:04:31,518 --> 01:04:32,384
you understand me?
1409
01:04:32,418 --> 01:04:33,785
Raylee, come on,
I need to talk to you.
1410
01:04:33,818 --> 01:04:36,651
Whoa, whoa, whoa, bro.
Hold on. Hold on.
1411
01:04:37,685 --> 01:04:39,085
Whoa, hey,
no fightin', okay?
1412
01:04:39,118 --> 01:04:40,718
You stay
in the car, babe.
1413
01:04:40,751 --> 01:04:41,885
All right, come here.
1414
01:04:41,918 --> 01:04:44,118
Google me, take out
your phone right now
1415
01:04:44,152 --> 01:04:46,818
and google Mikey Saber.
Do it, you got your phone on you?
1416
01:04:46,852 --> 01:04:48,418
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1417
01:04:48,451 --> 01:04:50,085
- No fightin'!
- Babe, it's okay.
1418
01:04:50,118 --> 01:04:52,718
20.1 million views
on Pornhub, bro.
1419
01:04:52,751 --> 01:04:53,952
I'm not fuckin'
with you.
1420
01:04:53,986 --> 01:04:55,718
Strawberry's
in a different league now,
1421
01:04:55,751 --> 01:04:57,052
do you understand me?
You can't compete
1422
01:04:57,085 --> 01:04:58,618
with someone
that fucked 1,300 bitches,
1423
01:04:58,651 --> 01:04:59,785
do you get
what I'm saying?
1424
01:04:59,818 --> 01:05:01,418
Hey,
let's not cause a scene!
1425
01:05:02,518 --> 01:05:03,953
What are you doing?
Who is this?
1426
01:05:03,986 --> 01:05:05,585
- Come on.
- I'm with him now.
1427
01:05:05,618 --> 01:05:07,085
Yeah, you heard it from her
mouth, she's with me.
1428
01:05:07,118 --> 01:05:08,451
Are you serious?
1429
01:05:08,484 --> 01:05:10,418
- Come on.
- I'm sorry, dude.
1430
01:05:10,451 --> 01:05:12,052
- It was fun, though.
- It wasn't fun.
1431
01:05:22,518 --> 01:05:23,751
Oh, my God!
1432
01:05:26,618 --> 01:05:27,618
Ah...
1433
01:05:31,018 --> 01:05:32,651
I'll see you tomorrow.
1434
01:05:33,518 --> 01:05:34,718
Yeah, you will.
1435
01:05:57,818 --> 01:06:00,852
Life's sweet, Sophie.
Life is sweet.
1436
01:06:03,919 --> 01:06:05,052
X equals negative-b
1437
01:06:05,085 --> 01:06:08,052
plus or minus the square root
of b-squared minus 4ac,
1438
01:06:08,085 --> 01:06:09,585
all over 2a.
1439
01:06:09,618 --> 01:06:11,751
Whoa.
That's geometry?
1440
01:06:11,785 --> 01:06:12,919
Algebra.
1441
01:06:15,718 --> 01:06:16,718
Shit.
1442
01:06:17,785 --> 01:06:19,085
It's all right, relax.
1443
01:06:19,118 --> 01:06:20,651
No, that's Nash.
1444
01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:21,985
- That's Nash?
- Mm-hmm.
1445
01:06:22,018 --> 01:06:23,052
Shit.
1446
01:06:23,085 --> 01:06:25,384
I think it's time I had a
man-to-man with this kid.
1447
01:06:25,418 --> 01:06:26,952
No fightin'.
1448
01:06:26,985 --> 01:06:29,018
You know what,
I'm tired of your fucking shit, bro.
1449
01:06:29,052 --> 01:06:30,886
I'm not afraid to fight
you, I don't give a fuck.
1450
01:06:30,919 --> 01:06:32,484
Oh, what,
1451
01:06:32,518 --> 01:06:33,551
this is your mommy
and daddy,
1452
01:06:33,585 --> 01:06:34,685
you brought them
to the dance?
1453
01:06:34,718 --> 01:06:37,152
You can't handle your shit by
yourself, huh, tough guy?
1454
01:06:37,185 --> 01:06:39,052
Sir, your son is fucking
with my girlfriend.
1455
01:06:39,085 --> 01:06:40,484
It ain't cool...
1456
01:06:43,751 --> 01:06:45,952
You motherfucker!
1457
01:06:45,985 --> 01:06:48,118
What the fuck!
1458
01:06:48,152 --> 01:06:49,952
What the fuck, Nash,
what the fuck!
1459
01:06:49,985 --> 01:06:51,451
I'm not with you
anymore!
1460
01:06:51,484 --> 01:06:52,818
Fuck you,
you cheated on me!
1461
01:06:52,853 --> 01:06:54,952
No, I didn't, we were never together!
No! No!
1462
01:06:54,985 --> 01:06:57,384
You come to my home,
threaten my son, motherfucker!
1463
01:06:57,418 --> 01:06:59,018
It took three of you to fuck me
up, you're a pussy!
1464
01:06:59,052 --> 01:06:59,985
What are you talking about,
1465
01:07:00,018 --> 01:07:00,952
what do you mean you're
not with him anymore?
1466
01:07:00,985 --> 01:07:01,651
From the
start, I fuckin' said
1467
01:07:01,685 --> 01:07:03,484
I never wanted
to be with you.
1468
01:07:03,518 --> 01:07:05,018
It was like
a casual fucking thing!
1469
01:07:05,052 --> 01:07:06,886
Fuck that shit,
you wanted me.
1470
01:07:06,918 --> 01:07:08,118
You're a little slut.
1471
01:07:08,152 --> 01:07:10,418
You're a fucking slut!
1472
01:07:10,451 --> 01:07:12,685
Hey, don't call my mama
that, what the fuck?
1473
01:07:12,718 --> 01:07:14,085
You ain't
got nothin' to say?
1474
01:07:14,118 --> 01:07:15,018
You come near
my house again,
1475
01:07:15,052 --> 01:07:17,052
you'll be leaving
in a body bag, bitch!
1476
01:07:17,085 --> 01:07:18,785
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1477
01:07:18,819 --> 01:07:20,085
He should
go to the hospital.
1478
01:07:20,118 --> 01:07:21,718
Yeah, maybe you should
go to the hospital?
1479
01:07:21,751 --> 01:07:23,152
No. It's not that bad,
1480
01:07:23,185 --> 01:07:25,451
and plus I don't have
health insurance, anyway,
1481
01:07:25,484 --> 01:07:26,518
but thank you,
Ms. Phan.
1482
01:07:26,551 --> 01:07:28,052
- Okay, now stop movin'.
- All right.
1483
01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:30,152
There's no fighting
in my parking lot.
1484
01:07:30,185 --> 01:07:32,052
He flat-out
sucker-punched me.
1485
01:07:32,085 --> 01:07:34,518
I would have 100%
out-cardio'd that guy.
1486
01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:36,451
Fuck.
Sorry for swearing.
1487
01:07:38,985 --> 01:07:40,819
Oh.
Oh, shit, be careful,
1488
01:07:40,853 --> 01:07:42,118
- that's where he kicked me.
- I'm gonna come.
1489
01:07:42,152 --> 01:07:43,418
That's right where
he kicked me.
1490
01:07:43,451 --> 01:07:45,384
That fuckin'
little bitch. Oh.
1491
01:07:45,418 --> 01:07:48,585
Oh, shit.
Ah, am I bleeding out of my head?
1492
01:07:48,618 --> 01:07:50,418
Fuck.
1493
01:07:56,718 --> 01:07:58,451
We're both going to be
hurtin' tomorrow.
1494
01:07:59,185 --> 01:08:00,551
Why is that?
1495
01:08:01,819 --> 01:08:03,885
Let's just say
you're blessed.
1496
01:08:03,918 --> 01:08:05,618
Uh-uh.
1497
01:08:05,651 --> 01:08:08,751
Yeah, I can't believe I'm
attracted to a ginger.
1498
01:08:08,786 --> 01:08:10,718
You're not allowed
to use the G word.
1499
01:08:13,152 --> 01:08:14,418
You have a type?
1500
01:08:14,918 --> 01:08:16,085
Maybe.
1501
01:08:16,118 --> 01:08:17,885
What's your type?
1502
01:08:19,152 --> 01:08:21,018
Let's just say
1503
01:08:21,052 --> 01:08:23,651
- I like men, not boys.
- Mm.
1504
01:08:48,118 --> 01:08:49,685
Oh. Um...
1505
01:08:49,718 --> 01:08:52,985
I'm sorry, I think
I have the wrong house.
1506
01:08:53,018 --> 01:08:54,551
Yeah, 'cause
I saw you parked
1507
01:08:54,585 --> 01:08:56,752
in front of my house
last night, too.
1508
01:08:56,785 --> 01:08:58,918
No, it's... It's a simple mistake.
I'm new in town.
1509
01:08:58,952 --> 01:09:00,952
If I see you around
here again...
1510
01:09:00,985 --> 01:09:02,852
No, no, no. It's okay.
It's okay.
1511
01:09:24,952 --> 01:09:26,719
Honestly,
if shit was different,
1512
01:09:27,885 --> 01:09:30,152
I could take over
the industry with her.
1513
01:09:30,185 --> 01:09:31,418
- Think so?
- Yeah.
1514
01:09:31,451 --> 01:09:33,852
Within six months,
I could see her nabbing Best Newcomer.
1515
01:09:33,885 --> 01:09:35,885
One year and she would
sweep the AVNs.
1516
01:09:35,918 --> 01:09:37,484
Tori Black...
You know who Tori Black is?
1517
01:09:37,518 --> 01:09:39,152
Yeah, man, of course,
I know who Tori Black is.
1518
01:09:39,185 --> 01:09:41,052
All right. Well, uh,
she won Performer of the Year
1519
01:09:41,085 --> 01:09:42,719
two years, back to back, right?
1520
01:09:42,751 --> 01:09:44,551
I think that Strawberry's
got the potential.
1521
01:09:44,585 --> 01:09:45,618
I'm not exaggerating,
1522
01:09:45,651 --> 01:09:46,719
- I really believe this.
- Okay.
1523
01:09:46,751 --> 01:09:49,818
I think... I think she could
win three years in a row.
1524
01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:51,518
With my guidance,
of course.
1525
01:09:55,518 --> 01:09:57,852
Doesn't matter, I'm stuck
in this shithole anyway.
1526
01:09:59,118 --> 01:10:01,686
Yeah, man, it's gonna be
kind of awkward anyway,
1527
01:10:01,719 --> 01:10:02,585
she's gonna have to bang
1528
01:10:02,618 --> 01:10:04,718
all those other fucking guys
on the scene.
1529
01:10:04,751 --> 01:10:06,118
I don't give a fuck.
1530
01:10:06,152 --> 01:10:08,484
I'll be fucking
other bitches, bro.
1531
01:10:08,518 --> 01:10:10,985
Come on.
I think it's hot, I don't care.
1532
01:10:12,451 --> 01:10:14,384
Okay, man.
1533
01:10:14,418 --> 01:10:15,985
I mean, seriously,
it's part of the game.
1534
01:10:17,852 --> 01:10:19,885
- That was nice.
- Mm-hmm.
1535
01:10:29,185 --> 01:10:30,785
You want to explain
those bruises?
1536
01:10:33,185 --> 01:10:34,585
I fell off my bike.
1537
01:10:36,185 --> 01:10:37,384
Mm.
1538
01:10:40,852 --> 01:10:42,484
Must've been
a hard fall.
1539
01:10:43,418 --> 01:10:44,652
Mm-hmm.
1540
01:11:03,085 --> 01:11:04,751
This is eight,
I need ten.
1541
01:11:11,619 --> 01:11:13,651
I'm moving a lot of
weight for you guys, huh?
1542
01:11:18,985 --> 01:11:20,818
I like those gold teeth.
1543
01:11:20,852 --> 01:11:23,085
I got one dia...
I got one diamond,
1544
01:11:23,118 --> 01:11:25,551
I had my dentist in Cali
put it in. So...
1545
01:11:28,152 --> 01:11:29,885
Yo, get your ass
out of here, man.
1546
01:11:32,551 --> 01:11:34,085
All right, say hi
to your mom for me.
1547
01:11:56,018 --> 01:11:58,418
These refinery boys
are the best.
1548
01:11:58,451 --> 01:11:59,586
They buy way more weed
1549
01:11:59,618 --> 01:12:02,818
than these skaters and
dancers I got to deal with.
1550
01:12:02,852 --> 01:12:04,852
- Dancers?
- Yeah, from the titty bar.
1551
01:12:04,885 --> 01:12:06,384
Oh, strippers.
1552
01:12:06,418 --> 01:12:08,985
They prefer the term
"dancers," young lady.
1553
01:12:09,018 --> 01:12:11,685
- Show some respect.
- Okay.
1554
01:12:11,718 --> 01:12:12,818
Topless dancers.
1555
01:12:12,852 --> 01:12:15,618
Oh, bottomless, too.
They got it all.
1556
01:12:15,651 --> 01:12:17,852
- Really?
- Yeah, what, you never been?
1557
01:12:17,885 --> 01:12:18,818
Well, why would I have been?
1558
01:12:18,852 --> 01:12:21,152
Plus, I'm not even
old enough to get in.
1559
01:12:21,185 --> 01:12:23,651
That's fine.
You want to go?
1560
01:12:23,685 --> 01:12:25,018
Seriously?
1561
01:12:25,052 --> 01:12:26,818
Strip club virgin!
1562
01:12:31,618 --> 01:12:33,152
- Hello.
- Hello.
1563
01:12:33,185 --> 01:12:34,785
- How old is she?
- Eighteen.
1564
01:12:34,818 --> 01:12:35,952
Eighteen.
1565
01:12:35,985 --> 01:12:37,451
Twenty bucks.
1566
01:12:38,418 --> 01:12:40,618
You're hotter than
all these girls combined.
1567
01:12:41,718 --> 01:12:43,585
If you worked here,
they'd be out of a job.
1568
01:12:44,751 --> 01:12:46,485
You want to
give her a tip?
1569
01:12:46,519 --> 01:12:47,651
Come on, let's go.
Let's give it to 'em.
1570
01:12:47,685 --> 01:12:48,918
It's fun. Come on.
1571
01:13:23,751 --> 01:13:24,718
Right here.
Right here.
1572
01:13:24,751 --> 01:13:26,518
- Here?
- Yeah, pull in there.
1573
01:13:29,018 --> 01:13:30,585
I just gotta
get some milk.
1574
01:13:34,585 --> 01:13:36,418
All right, well...
1575
01:13:37,452 --> 01:13:39,018
- Good night.
- Oh, I can...
1576
01:13:39,052 --> 01:13:41,085
I can wait and drive
you all the way home.
1577
01:13:41,118 --> 01:13:42,452
Oh, no, it's okay.
1578
01:13:42,485 --> 01:13:44,618
I like to ride my bike
at night.
1579
01:13:45,085 --> 01:13:47,085
Okay.
1580
01:13:47,118 --> 01:13:49,518
But, technically,
that was our first date.
1581
01:13:49,551 --> 01:13:52,118
So you just brought me
to a strip joint
1582
01:13:52,152 --> 01:13:54,852
for our first date.
Real classy.
1583
01:13:54,885 --> 01:13:56,551
Ooh, snap.
1584
01:13:56,585 --> 01:13:58,885
Mm. Well, I guess
we got to do it again.
1585
01:13:58,918 --> 01:14:02,518
You want to go to the
pier Friday night?
1586
01:14:02,551 --> 01:14:04,452
Beats liver and onions
at Luby's.
1587
01:14:04,484 --> 01:14:06,384
I love Luby's.
1588
01:14:11,018 --> 01:14:12,484
So, friends,
1589
01:14:12,518 --> 01:14:16,518
it is with humility,
determination,
1590
01:14:16,551 --> 01:14:19,952
and boundless confidence
in America's promise...
1591
01:14:20,985 --> 01:14:23,918
...that I accept
your nomination
1592
01:14:23,952 --> 01:14:26,985
for President
of the United States!
1593
01:14:27,018 --> 01:14:28,085
All right,
1594
01:14:28,118 --> 01:14:30,518
Rich Snarkey
is with us in Washington.
1595
01:14:30,551 --> 01:14:33,085
Rich, what are these
new emails revealing?
1596
01:14:33,118 --> 01:14:34,718
Yeah?
1597
01:14:36,451 --> 01:14:38,085
Mm. Yeah?
1598
01:14:38,918 --> 01:14:40,152
Daddy want to play?
1599
01:14:40,185 --> 01:14:42,385
I don't know
if I'm feeling it.
1600
01:14:42,419 --> 01:14:44,618
Oh, I can feel it. Mm.
1601
01:14:45,484 --> 01:14:48,419
Nice and fast.
1602
01:14:48,451 --> 01:14:49,818
I just don't think
it's happening today.
1603
01:14:49,852 --> 01:14:50,852
Come on.
1604
01:14:52,551 --> 01:14:54,419
Don't
you want to get in me?
1605
01:14:54,451 --> 01:14:56,952
Don't you want to get
in this tight little pussy.
1606
01:14:56,985 --> 01:14:59,551
I don't feel it, I'm sorry.
I'm just not feeling it.
1607
01:14:59,585 --> 01:15:01,985
Jesus Christ.
Okay, okay.
1608
01:15:03,085 --> 01:15:05,385
- What?
- It's fine.
1609
01:15:05,418 --> 01:15:07,585
Whatever.
I didn't want to, anyway.
1610
01:15:23,118 --> 01:15:24,152
Lonnie!
1611
01:15:25,818 --> 01:15:26,818
Lonnie!
1612
01:15:27,685 --> 01:15:30,885
Lonnie! Lon...
Lonniekins!
1613
01:15:31,885 --> 01:15:32,985
Hey!
1614
01:15:33,018 --> 01:15:35,018
Don't be tied up
all day.
1615
01:15:38,118 --> 01:15:39,651
Hey, Lonniekins.
1616
01:15:39,685 --> 01:15:42,718
- Hey, Lexi, what's up?
- Oh, not much.
1617
01:15:42,751 --> 01:15:44,484
- What are you doin'?
- Oh, you know,
1618
01:15:44,518 --> 01:15:45,818
fartin' around
with the old man.
1619
01:15:45,852 --> 01:15:47,985
- Oh, yeah.
- Same shit, different day.
1620
01:15:48,018 --> 01:15:49,685
Oh, I know, I know.
1621
01:15:49,718 --> 01:15:50,585
What are you doin'?
1622
01:15:50,618 --> 01:15:53,018
I'm just, you know,
gettin' some air.
1623
01:15:53,052 --> 01:15:54,320
Some sunshine.
1624
01:15:56,085 --> 01:15:57,785
So you and Mikey
been hangin' out, huh?
1625
01:15:57,818 --> 01:16:00,418
Yeah. It's been fun
having him in town.
1626
01:16:00,451 --> 01:16:01,751
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
1627
01:16:03,085 --> 01:16:05,985
Is he giving you money for all
those rides you're giving him?
1628
01:16:06,018 --> 01:16:07,451
Mm, no.
1629
01:16:07,484 --> 01:16:09,118
I mean, I don't
mind, we're buds.
1630
01:16:09,152 --> 01:16:11,785
I know y'all don't have a set
of wheels right now, so...
1631
01:16:11,818 --> 01:16:13,618
No, we don't,
not right now.
1632
01:16:17,418 --> 01:16:19,451
Yeah, you been working out?
1633
01:16:19,484 --> 01:16:21,052
No.
1634
01:16:21,085 --> 01:16:23,618
- Oh. You look good.
- Thanks.
1635
01:16:23,651 --> 01:16:25,418
You sure you haven't
been working out?
1636
01:16:25,451 --> 01:16:27,052
I'm positive.
1637
01:16:27,085 --> 01:16:28,985
Can't call you "scrawny
Lonnie" no more,
1638
01:16:29,018 --> 01:16:30,718
can I?
1639
01:16:33,618 --> 01:16:35,518
You keep Mikey out of trouble
now, you hear?
1640
01:16:35,551 --> 01:16:37,018
I'll try.
1641
01:16:37,052 --> 01:16:38,985
Okay, I know you will.
1642
01:16:40,952 --> 01:16:41,985
Good seeing you.
1643
01:16:42,018 --> 01:16:43,484
Good seeing you.
Take care.
1644
01:16:47,185 --> 01:16:48,418
There's a lot of rides,
1645
01:16:48,451 --> 01:16:50,418
we could do
the roller-coaster.
1646
01:16:50,451 --> 01:16:51,451
Am I tall enough?
1647
01:16:51,484 --> 01:16:53,785
I think it's, like,
48 inches or whatever.
1648
01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:55,651
I'll give you 48
inches or whatever.
1649
01:16:56,852 --> 01:16:58,718
I'm sorry.
That was too easy.
1650
01:16:58,751 --> 01:16:59,685
But I got you. It's like,
1651
01:16:59,718 --> 01:17:01,651
if you're scared,
just grab onto me, you know.
1652
01:17:01,685 --> 01:17:03,618
I'll hold your hand.
1653
01:17:03,651 --> 01:17:05,484
So, after this,
1654
01:17:05,518 --> 01:17:07,952
are you gonna fuck me
under the boardwalk?
1655
01:17:07,985 --> 01:17:10,484
You're such a little
exhibitionist, you know that?
1656
01:17:10,518 --> 01:17:11,685
Look who's talking.
1657
01:17:12,484 --> 01:17:13,818
Wait, what do you mean?
1658
01:17:14,585 --> 01:17:16,518
You know what I mean.
1659
01:17:16,551 --> 01:17:18,885
Mr. Saber.
1660
01:17:32,052 --> 01:17:33,618
Oh, my God!
1661
01:17:34,985 --> 01:17:36,952
Mikey!
1662
01:17:36,985 --> 01:17:38,818
The second I broke up
with Nash,
1663
01:17:39,618 --> 01:17:40,685
my Facebook blew up
1664
01:17:40,718 --> 01:17:42,585
with everyone
and their fucking grandma
1665
01:17:42,618 --> 01:17:43,985
sending me links
to your videos.
1666
01:17:46,585 --> 01:17:48,384
And you're cool
with it?
1667
01:17:48,418 --> 01:17:50,551
Would I be here
if I gave a shit?
1668
01:17:50,585 --> 01:17:52,018
I actually think
it's kinda dope.
1669
01:17:52,618 --> 01:17:53,618
Hmm.
1670
01:17:55,018 --> 01:17:57,418
I think it's cool
you just said,
1671
01:17:57,451 --> 01:17:59,085
"Fuck it, I'm gonna get paid
1672
01:17:59,118 --> 01:18:00,918
"for doing
the thing I love most."
1673
01:18:00,952 --> 01:18:03,152
And as long as you're
not hurtin' anybody,
1674
01:18:03,186 --> 01:18:05,384
you do you, man.
1675
01:18:05,418 --> 01:18:06,918
But if you give me something,
1676
01:18:06,952 --> 01:18:08,685
I swear to fuckin' God...
1677
01:18:08,718 --> 01:18:09,718
Us porn folk
1678
01:18:09,751 --> 01:18:11,985
are the most tested people
on the whole planet.
1679
01:18:12,018 --> 01:18:12,985
I mean, think about it,
1680
01:18:13,018 --> 01:18:15,451
we got to get tested to
work, you know?
1681
01:18:15,484 --> 01:18:16,751
Maybe I gave you somethin'?
1682
01:18:16,785 --> 01:18:18,885
Oh, don't even kid!
1683
01:18:21,518 --> 01:18:24,484
I posted a nude online once.
1684
01:18:24,518 --> 01:18:27,085
I can never tell if you're
joking or if you're serious.
1685
01:18:27,118 --> 01:18:29,518
My friends and I
were messing around
1686
01:18:29,551 --> 01:18:32,618
on that subreddit,
Gone Wild.
1687
01:18:32,651 --> 01:18:34,885
We were just trying to see how
much attention we could get.
1688
01:18:34,918 --> 01:18:35,918
We weren't even naked,
we had,
1689
01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:37,885
like, our stuffed animals
like that, you know?
1690
01:18:38,885 --> 01:18:40,685
But this old guy
in Ohio
1691
01:18:40,718 --> 01:18:42,818
propositioned us
to sell a nude pic.
1692
01:18:42,852 --> 01:18:45,952
And I did,
and he Venmo'd me 60 bucks.
1693
01:18:45,985 --> 01:18:47,818
- Sixty bucks?
- Mm-hmm.
1694
01:18:47,852 --> 01:18:49,718
You're a bad, bad girl.
1695
01:18:49,751 --> 01:18:50,885
But 60 bucks ain't shit.
1696
01:18:50,918 --> 01:18:53,451
You should get
at least double that.
1697
01:18:53,484 --> 01:18:55,785
So were you planning
on ever telling me?
1698
01:18:55,818 --> 01:18:57,451
Yeah.
1699
01:18:57,484 --> 01:18:59,484
It's not something you drop
on a civilian.
1700
01:19:00,852 --> 01:19:02,952
A civilian?
Is that what I am?
1701
01:19:04,153 --> 01:19:05,351
Yeah.
1702
01:19:06,119 --> 01:19:07,518
But you don't have to be.
1703
01:19:08,418 --> 01:19:10,153
For reals?
1704
01:19:10,185 --> 01:19:13,818
Look,
I'm gonna be straight with you.
1705
01:19:13,852 --> 01:19:16,685
I've been in the business
almost 20 years,
1706
01:19:16,718 --> 01:19:20,751
and nobody,
nobody comes close to you.
1707
01:19:22,484 --> 01:19:24,885
Straight up, you could be a huge
star, I'm just saying.
1708
01:19:26,418 --> 01:19:28,418
- You're funny.
- Mm-hmm.
1709
01:19:29,885 --> 01:19:31,018
Look,
1710
01:19:31,052 --> 01:19:34,086
I'm already about to have
a very awkward senior year.
1711
01:19:34,119 --> 01:19:35,285
Mm.
1712
01:19:35,319 --> 01:19:37,751
I'm not about to have a very
awkward rest of my life.
1713
01:19:37,785 --> 01:19:38,785
Ah.
1714
01:19:58,551 --> 01:19:59,685
...but the second time
1715
01:19:59,718 --> 01:20:01,018
I fell out of the tree,
remember?
1716
01:20:01,053 --> 01:20:03,451
I fell straight down on the
ground and broke my arm,
1717
01:20:03,484 --> 01:20:05,053
so I had a leg broken
and an arm broken.
1718
01:20:05,086 --> 01:20:07,551
And then Mom had to wheel me
around in the shoppin' cart
1719
01:20:07,585 --> 01:20:08,618
for, like, a month...
1720
01:20:08,651 --> 01:20:09,685
And you loved that.
1721
01:20:09,718 --> 01:20:10,952
It was so embarrassing.
1722
01:20:10,985 --> 01:20:12,718
- Aw.
- Hey!
1723
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,885
- Hey, Mikey.
- Hmm.
1724
01:20:15,918 --> 01:20:16,952
How you doing?
1725
01:20:16,985 --> 01:20:19,751
I'm good.
What you doin' here?
1726
01:20:19,785 --> 01:20:20,818
Just catchin' up
1727
01:20:20,852 --> 01:20:22,518
- with Lil and Lexi.
- Mm-hmm.
1728
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:23,985
Catching up
on some old stuff.
1729
01:20:24,018 --> 01:20:25,718
- Mm-hmm.
- Shootin' the breeze.
1730
01:20:25,751 --> 01:20:26,885
- Sounds like it.
- Yeah.
1731
01:20:26,918 --> 01:20:27,852
You should let me know
next time,
1732
01:20:27,885 --> 01:20:31,484
I'll make some steaks.
Hang out with you guys.
1733
01:20:31,518 --> 01:20:32,852
- Sounds great.
- Yeah.
1734
01:20:32,885 --> 01:20:34,818
- Sounds like a plan.
- Mm-hmm.
1735
01:20:34,852 --> 01:20:36,585
Ladies,
I'mma get up outta here.
1736
01:20:36,618 --> 01:20:37,952
- It's getting late.
- Oh, no. Already?
1737
01:20:37,985 --> 01:20:39,585
But your
hospitality was good,
1738
01:20:39,618 --> 01:20:41,918
- the conversation was boss.
- Aw.
1739
01:20:41,952 --> 01:20:43,885
- Okay, girls...
- So good to see you.
1740
01:20:43,918 --> 01:20:44,751
Absolutely.
1741
01:20:44,785 --> 01:20:46,551
So good to see you again, Lele.
1742
01:20:46,585 --> 01:20:47,751
- You, too, my baby.
- Please come back.
1743
01:20:47,785 --> 01:20:49,885
- I will. I will.
- Don't be a stranger.
1744
01:20:49,918 --> 01:20:50,952
You take care of yourself,
baby girl.
1745
01:20:50,985 --> 01:20:52,118
- You, too.
- All right?
1746
01:20:52,152 --> 01:20:53,384
Be safe out there.
1747
01:20:53,418 --> 01:20:55,053
Mikey, I'm sure
I'll see you soon.
1748
01:20:55,085 --> 01:20:55,952
Yeah, you will.
1749
01:20:55,985 --> 01:20:57,618
- Thanks, Lele.
- Good night.
1750
01:20:57,651 --> 01:20:59,451
- Good night.
- God bless you.
1751
01:21:06,085 --> 01:21:07,585
Did it come through?
1752
01:21:07,618 --> 01:21:09,451
Yeah. Bullshit.
1753
01:21:09,484 --> 01:21:12,551
You see her?
She's fuckin' smokin', right?
1754
01:21:12,585 --> 01:21:14,651
You're not gonna
believe this, dude.
1755
01:21:14,685 --> 01:21:17,019
- Her name is Strawberry.
- What?
1756
01:21:17,052 --> 01:21:18,085
Fucking Strawberry.
1757
01:21:18,118 --> 01:21:19,451
You can't make
this shit up, man.
1758
01:21:19,484 --> 01:21:20,384
- Strawberry?
- Yeah. No, I...
1759
01:21:20,418 --> 01:21:22,751
Has there even been
a Strawberry before?
1760
01:21:22,785 --> 01:21:25,618
She's my way back
in, man, I'm tellin' you.
1761
01:21:25,651 --> 01:21:29,019
This is like a Jenna Jameson,
Sasha Grey-level find here.
1762
01:21:29,052 --> 01:21:31,518
Aw, fuck, I'm blessed,
I'm so fucking blessed.
1763
01:21:31,551 --> 01:21:33,885
See, this is my talent,
1764
01:21:33,918 --> 01:21:35,785
I could be a badass scout.
1765
01:21:35,818 --> 01:21:38,685
I got my finger on the pulse
of the next generation, baby.
1766
01:21:39,918 --> 01:21:41,484
How do you know she's
gonna be down for this, man?
1767
01:21:41,518 --> 01:21:44,451
Oh, she's down,
trust me, she's down.
1768
01:21:44,484 --> 01:21:47,651
Plus, she sucks on my fingers
while I'm fucking her, bro.
1769
01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:48,618
Oh, yeah? That's cool.
1770
01:21:48,651 --> 01:21:51,384
Yeah, it's cool.
You know what that means?
1771
01:21:51,418 --> 01:21:52,451
She likes fingers?
1772
01:21:52,484 --> 01:21:54,052
You're so cute.
1773
01:21:55,518 --> 01:21:57,451
Means she likes
having a dick in her mouth
1774
01:21:57,484 --> 01:22:00,018
while getting fucked.
It's a telltale sign, bro.
1775
01:22:00,052 --> 01:22:01,185
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1776
01:22:01,219 --> 01:22:03,152
Any time a girl puts something
in her mouth while fucking,
1777
01:22:03,185 --> 01:22:04,986
either they're familiar
with that scenario
1778
01:22:05,018 --> 01:22:06,953
or they're intrigued
by that scenario.
1779
01:22:06,986 --> 01:22:08,852
Think about it, man,
it's just logic.
1780
01:22:08,885 --> 01:22:10,451
I never thought
about it that way.
1781
01:22:10,484 --> 01:22:12,484
Yeah, man,
no, that's what Lexi did.
1782
01:22:12,518 --> 01:22:13,919
You know,
when we first started dating,
1783
01:22:13,953 --> 01:22:16,052
Lexi would suck on my fingers
while I was fucking her.
1784
01:22:16,085 --> 01:22:17,718
That's what schooled me
to the knowledge
1785
01:22:17,751 --> 01:22:18,785
that she'd slept with
1786
01:22:18,818 --> 01:22:20,418
more than one dude
at a time before.
1787
01:22:20,451 --> 01:22:22,018
So when I proposed
a threesome, she was in.
1788
01:22:22,052 --> 01:22:24,052
She didn't fight it,
she fucking loved it.
1789
01:22:24,085 --> 01:22:25,351
- Huh.
- Yeah.
1790
01:22:27,685 --> 01:22:28,685
Well, what do you think
1791
01:22:28,718 --> 01:22:31,052
Lexi is gonna think
about all of this, though?
1792
01:22:31,085 --> 01:22:34,118
Dude, Lexi is the bane
of my fucking existence, man.
1793
01:22:34,152 --> 01:22:36,685
Everything that has gone wrong
in my life the last 15 years
1794
01:22:36,718 --> 01:22:38,651
pretty much
stems back to her.
1795
01:22:39,919 --> 01:22:42,018
I've forgiven her
over and over again.
1796
01:22:42,052 --> 01:22:44,018
I've overlooked so much shit
in the name of forgiveness,
1797
01:22:44,052 --> 01:22:45,852
but it doesn't matter,
she always fucks me...
1798
01:22:46,953 --> 01:22:48,451
Hey, how you doin', sir?
1799
01:22:53,518 --> 01:22:55,618
Go look up the Lexi Lane,
Ashley Blue gangbang.
1800
01:22:55,651 --> 01:22:56,818
At the end,
I'm fucking Ashley,
1801
01:22:56,852 --> 01:22:58,484
so I wasn't paying attention.
1802
01:22:58,518 --> 01:23:01,052
Lexi starts badmouthing me
to the male talent on camera.
1803
01:23:01,085 --> 01:23:02,118
Saying that I'm limp dick
and shit,
1804
01:23:02,152 --> 01:23:03,384
and that's
a total fucking lie.
1805
01:23:03,418 --> 01:23:04,418
Of course
I can get it up, right?
1806
01:23:04,451 --> 01:23:06,618
I didn't know this until
the fucking DVD came out.
1807
01:23:06,651 --> 01:23:08,018
I wanted to knock
that bitch out.
1808
01:23:08,052 --> 01:23:09,952
Anyway, don't say shit.
That stays between us.
1809
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:11,751
- I got you, brother.
- You got the next set.
1810
01:23:14,751 --> 01:23:16,551
- Appreciate you.
- Thank you.
1811
01:23:18,152 --> 01:23:20,651
So... I joined
your Pornhub page.
1812
01:23:21,818 --> 01:23:23,551
You watching my scenes?
1813
01:23:23,585 --> 01:23:24,818
Checked out a few.
1814
01:23:24,853 --> 01:23:27,451
I watched the one
you won Best Oral for.
1815
01:23:27,484 --> 01:23:30,152
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1816
01:23:30,185 --> 01:23:32,651
Not that it's not hot watchin'
you, but, like...
1817
01:23:33,185 --> 01:23:34,252
Yeah?
1818
01:23:34,285 --> 01:23:38,551
So the girl,
plus all the guys she's blowin'...
1819
01:23:41,152 --> 01:23:42,886
Hello, Mr. Mikey.
1820
01:23:42,918 --> 01:23:44,818
Hey, Ms. Phan.
1821
01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:47,085
Uh, I swept outside and
watered the plants for you.
1822
01:23:47,118 --> 01:23:48,118
Great.
1823
01:23:51,451 --> 01:23:55,118
So the girl, plus all the guys
she's blowin', win the award?
1824
01:23:55,152 --> 01:23:56,384
Right.
1825
01:23:56,418 --> 01:23:57,985
But we all share it,
the award.
1826
01:23:58,018 --> 01:23:59,952
Okay. But, like,
1827
01:23:59,985 --> 01:24:02,052
she's on her knees
blowing a line of guys,
1828
01:24:02,085 --> 01:24:03,484
it's like her scene.
1829
01:24:03,518 --> 01:24:05,384
Why are you winning
an award for it?
1830
01:24:05,418 --> 01:24:07,418
Okay, well,
that's up for discussion.
1831
01:24:08,718 --> 01:24:10,152
Anyway, you shouldn't
be watching that stuff.
1832
01:24:10,185 --> 01:24:12,118
You know,
just pretend it doesn't exist.
1833
01:24:12,152 --> 01:24:13,819
Don't watch that stuff,
it's not good.
1834
01:24:14,618 --> 01:24:15,885
I'm sorry.
1835
01:24:15,918 --> 01:24:17,819
- Did I hurt your feelings?
- No. It's okay.
1836
01:24:19,185 --> 01:24:20,651
Sorry, I should have asked
1837
01:24:20,685 --> 01:24:22,118
if it was okay
if I watched.
1838
01:24:22,152 --> 01:24:23,685
Hmm.
1839
01:24:25,786 --> 01:24:27,451
Well,
if you do want to watch one,
1840
01:24:27,484 --> 01:24:29,885
check out The Fast and
the Furious parody I did.
1841
01:24:29,918 --> 01:24:31,718
- Are you serious?
- Hell yeah.
1842
01:24:31,751 --> 01:24:34,718
Fast and the Fury-ass.
1843
01:24:34,751 --> 01:24:35,852
- Yeah.
- I love it.
1844
01:24:35,885 --> 01:24:36,952
Clever, right?
1845
01:24:36,985 --> 01:24:39,918
I play Brian O'Conner,
that's Paul Walker's character.
1846
01:24:39,952 --> 01:24:41,985
Man, my acting was next level.
Seriously.
1847
01:24:42,018 --> 01:24:44,651
I mean, my scenes were miles
above the other scenes.
1848
01:24:44,685 --> 01:24:45,985
To this day, people
will tweet me and be like,
1849
01:24:46,018 --> 01:24:47,918
"Oh, you were
the perfect O'Conner."
1850
01:24:47,952 --> 01:24:50,484
I was actually even
nominated for that role.
1851
01:24:50,518 --> 01:24:53,052
Best Supporting Actor
in a Parody.
1852
01:24:53,085 --> 01:24:55,751
But I didn't win.
It was the big snub of the night.
1853
01:24:55,786 --> 01:24:58,451
There was boos and everything.
It was crazy.
1854
01:24:58,484 --> 01:25:01,518
And then Paul Walker goes
and gets himself killed,
1855
01:25:01,551 --> 01:25:02,818
which is such a bummer
1856
01:25:02,852 --> 01:25:05,585
because then I'm fucked
out of the sequels.
1857
01:25:05,618 --> 01:25:06,885
- That sucks.
- Yeah.
1858
01:25:07,818 --> 01:25:08,618
So...
1859
01:25:11,152 --> 01:25:12,818
You want to come over
this weekend?
1860
01:25:14,418 --> 01:25:15,818
Come over?
What, to your place?
1861
01:25:15,852 --> 01:25:17,918
Yeah. We can spend
Saturday night there.
1862
01:25:17,952 --> 01:25:19,152
Uh... Nah, nah,
I'm not into
1863
01:25:19,185 --> 01:25:21,118
the whole
meet-the-parents thing.
1864
01:25:21,152 --> 01:25:22,952
You think I'd introduce you
to my mom?
1865
01:25:22,985 --> 01:25:25,651
Are you fucking kidding me?
No. God, no! No.
1866
01:25:25,685 --> 01:25:28,551
She'll be out of town.
She got a new boyfriend,
1867
01:25:28,585 --> 01:25:30,952
and they're going to Houston
to fuck themselves silly.
1868
01:25:30,985 --> 01:25:33,451
So, we got the place
to our own,
1869
01:25:33,484 --> 01:25:35,085
to fuck ourselves
even sillier.
1870
01:25:36,518 --> 01:25:37,518
Ah!
1871
01:25:41,551 --> 01:25:42,719
- Mikey?
- Yeah?
1872
01:25:44,118 --> 01:25:46,351
You haven't even asked
about Eric once.
1873
01:25:48,651 --> 01:25:50,752
You got my Facebook
message when it happened.
1874
01:25:50,785 --> 01:25:51,852
We chatted.
1875
01:25:56,752 --> 01:25:58,985
My heart goes out to you.
It was a terrible thing.
1876
01:26:05,052 --> 01:26:06,618
So...
1877
01:26:06,651 --> 01:26:09,384
Any word on you getting
custody or whatever?
1878
01:26:11,852 --> 01:26:12,852
Yeah.
1879
01:26:13,785 --> 01:26:15,351
Well, I was thinking...
1880
01:26:16,518 --> 01:26:18,686
I have a meetin'
with CPS next week.
1881
01:26:18,719 --> 01:26:21,918
And I was thinking
you could come with me
1882
01:26:21,952 --> 01:26:24,719
and we could tell
the case worker...
1883
01:26:24,751 --> 01:26:25,751
Her name is Mary-Anne,
1884
01:26:25,785 --> 01:26:28,785
she's real nice and she's
trying to help me out.
1885
01:26:28,818 --> 01:26:32,018
And we can tell her about how
things are going well here
1886
01:26:32,052 --> 01:26:33,052
and, you know...
1887
01:26:34,451 --> 01:26:36,686
Like you and me,
and all...
1888
01:26:39,518 --> 01:26:40,719
'Cause, I mean,
1889
01:26:40,751 --> 01:26:43,418
if things are going well
with you and me and all,
1890
01:26:43,451 --> 01:26:44,952
and I can get
a clean test...
1891
01:26:44,985 --> 01:26:46,351
And that's gonna happen?
1892
01:26:47,118 --> 01:26:48,285
No wonder they took him,
1893
01:26:48,319 --> 01:26:50,384
you're right back to where you
were in '08 all over again.
1894
01:26:52,585 --> 01:26:54,052
Where's his dad
in all this shit anyway?
1895
01:26:54,085 --> 01:26:56,484
Why doesn't he step
the fuck up? Seriously.
1896
01:26:59,518 --> 01:27:01,484
Or better yet,
why doesn't Leondria go with you,
1897
01:27:01,518 --> 01:27:03,751
being that she's so concerned
with our fucking business.
1898
01:27:05,418 --> 01:27:07,418
You know what,
fuck this place.
1899
01:27:07,451 --> 01:27:09,351
I'm going to go watch TV
with your mom.
1900
01:27:41,185 --> 01:27:43,085
Don't judge, okay?
1901
01:27:43,118 --> 01:27:44,852
Why would I do that?
1902
01:27:44,885 --> 01:27:47,118
You're talking to a boy
who grew up in Texas City,
1903
01:27:47,152 --> 01:27:49,018
so I'm not going
to judge anything.
1904
01:27:49,052 --> 01:27:51,586
- This is it?
- Yeah.
1905
01:27:51,619 --> 01:27:54,619
Oh. Uh, I take it back,
this place is a shithole.
1906
01:27:54,651 --> 01:27:55,885
Can you take me
home, please?
1907
01:27:59,586 --> 01:28:00,818
All right, ta-da.
1908
01:28:00,852 --> 01:28:02,885
- Wow. Luxurious.
- Yeah.
1909
01:28:02,918 --> 01:28:04,518
Can't smoke in here,
by the way,
1910
01:28:04,551 --> 01:28:06,484
- my mom's trying to quit.
- That's okay.
1911
01:28:08,952 --> 01:28:10,651
- Is this you?
- Yeah.
1912
01:28:10,685 --> 01:28:12,152
That's the first selfie
I ever took.
1913
01:28:12,185 --> 01:28:14,052
- Mm.
- Vintage.
1914
01:28:14,085 --> 01:28:15,685
- You want a Coke?
- Yes.
1915
01:28:17,018 --> 01:28:18,885
And that's your mom?
1916
01:28:18,918 --> 01:28:22,418
Yep. And that's my
grandma, and that's me.
1917
01:28:22,451 --> 01:28:24,586
And that's me.
And that's me.
1918
01:28:24,618 --> 01:28:25,651
Cute.
1919
01:28:25,685 --> 01:28:26,718
What's back here?
1920
01:28:26,751 --> 01:28:27,885
- Ah, that's my mom's room.
- Oh.
1921
01:28:27,918 --> 01:28:29,085
I am right here.
1922
01:28:33,952 --> 01:28:35,918
Wow. Wow.
1923
01:28:36,718 --> 01:28:37,718
Pink.
1924
01:28:38,552 --> 01:28:39,552
Pink.
1925
01:28:39,586 --> 01:28:41,384
It's supposed to make you
happy or something.
1926
01:28:41,418 --> 01:28:42,418
Yeah.
1927
01:28:43,586 --> 01:28:44,785
Wow.
1928
01:28:50,985 --> 01:28:53,384
So, tell your mom
I'm moving in.
1929
01:28:58,418 --> 01:28:59,885
You feel the sunshine?
1930
01:29:02,985 --> 01:29:04,585
By the way,
what sign are you?
1931
01:29:06,651 --> 01:29:07,852
Why?
1932
01:29:07,885 --> 01:29:11,152
Uh... I mean,
I don't even believe in astrology,
1933
01:29:11,185 --> 01:29:12,552
but I'm just asking.
1934
01:29:14,018 --> 01:29:15,418
A bad sign.
1935
01:29:16,785 --> 01:29:18,552
I don't believe
in that shit, either.
1936
01:29:18,585 --> 01:29:19,585
Yeah.
1937
01:29:26,785 --> 01:29:28,718
You know, before this
place was about black gold,
1938
01:29:28,751 --> 01:29:29,985
it was about black ivory.
1939
01:29:30,751 --> 01:29:32,384
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1940
01:29:32,418 --> 01:29:34,152
I don't understand.
1941
01:29:34,185 --> 01:29:36,384
- Slave trade, silly.
- Oh.
1942
01:29:36,418 --> 01:29:37,918
Slaves were sold here.
1943
01:29:37,952 --> 01:29:41,618
Some, like, famous
French pirate ran the show.
1944
01:29:41,651 --> 01:29:44,085
A French pirate?
I bet he had really good style.
1945
01:29:44,118 --> 01:29:46,085
I bet he dressed good.
1946
01:29:46,118 --> 01:29:48,852
When I was little,
my mama would take me out here
1947
01:29:48,885 --> 01:29:50,785
and we'd go hunting
for pirate booty.
1948
01:29:50,818 --> 01:29:51,852
Ooh.
1949
01:29:51,885 --> 01:29:53,618
- I love pirate booty.
- Ooh.
1950
01:29:53,651 --> 01:29:55,551
Tell me more.
1951
01:29:57,818 --> 01:29:59,985
I'm coming to get ya.
1952
01:30:01,418 --> 01:30:02,985
Fuck!
1953
01:30:15,518 --> 01:30:18,785
This is prime Texas beef
right here.
1954
01:30:18,818 --> 01:30:21,918
This might be the one thing
this place has above LA.
1955
01:30:21,952 --> 01:30:24,018
Besides you, of course.
1956
01:30:24,052 --> 01:30:27,751
You're like an
extraterrestrial around here.
1957
01:30:27,785 --> 01:30:30,952
When I look at you,
I don't think Gulf Coast,
1958
01:30:30,985 --> 01:30:33,384
you know...
Well, besides the sexy drawl.
1959
01:30:33,419 --> 01:30:35,052
You jerk.
It's not that bad.
1960
01:30:35,085 --> 01:30:36,518
It's pretty bad.
1961
01:30:36,551 --> 01:30:37,852
Stop makin' fun of me.
1962
01:30:37,885 --> 01:30:40,551
I'm not.
I had one, but I lost it,
1963
01:30:40,585 --> 01:30:43,818
after living in LA for a
while, you lose it.
1964
01:30:43,852 --> 01:30:46,384
I remember being at work
when I first got there,
1965
01:30:46,419 --> 01:30:47,818
these guys made fun of me
'cause I was like,
1966
01:30:47,852 --> 01:30:48,952
"Hi, I'm Mikey."
1967
01:30:48,985 --> 01:30:51,585
And they all said,
"You sound like a dumb hick."
1968
01:30:51,618 --> 01:30:53,384
So, yeah, just lost it.
1969
01:30:54,452 --> 01:30:55,785
Well,
1970
01:30:55,818 --> 01:30:57,551
another year or so
and I'm out of here.
1971
01:30:58,685 --> 01:31:02,118
- Why wait?
- I told you. Moolah.
1972
01:31:02,152 --> 01:31:04,085
I didn't have any money
when I left.
1973
01:31:04,118 --> 01:31:07,985
I have no friends.
No connections.
1974
01:31:08,018 --> 01:31:11,085
I'll be your friend.
I'll be your connection.
1975
01:31:11,118 --> 01:31:12,618
Don't fuck with me.
1976
01:31:13,018 --> 01:31:13,885
I'm not.
1977
01:31:32,152 --> 01:31:34,419
- This is nice.
- Mm-hmm.
1978
01:31:35,451 --> 01:31:37,885
Hold up.
I got an idea.
1979
01:31:42,118 --> 01:31:43,585
Whoa,
what are you doing?
1980
01:31:43,618 --> 01:31:46,918
Let's shoot a scene, for us.
Just for us.
1981
01:31:48,952 --> 01:31:51,818
All right, but if we do that,
we're using my phone.
1982
01:31:52,785 --> 01:31:54,018
Why, you don't trust me?
1983
01:31:54,052 --> 01:31:56,785
Well, you could lose
your phone, motherfucker.
1984
01:31:56,818 --> 01:31:58,885
You could lose your phone,
motherfucker.
1985
01:31:58,918 --> 01:32:01,918
- Well, then it would be on me.
- Mm, true dat.
1986
01:32:03,718 --> 01:32:05,085
Look at that, look at that.
1987
01:32:05,118 --> 01:32:07,551
You see that, you see
how good you look?
1988
01:32:08,918 --> 01:32:11,718
You film here, take it.
Take it.
1989
01:32:11,751 --> 01:32:13,585
Mm-hmm.
1990
01:32:13,618 --> 01:32:15,018
Yeah.
1991
01:32:19,651 --> 01:32:21,918
- That's so hot.
- I know.
1992
01:32:21,952 --> 01:32:23,785
You're telling me.
1993
01:32:23,818 --> 01:32:25,685
Look at that,
look at that,
1994
01:32:25,718 --> 01:32:27,818
you know how to play to
the camera and everything.
1995
01:32:29,518 --> 01:32:32,384
You see how you make sure
your face is always seen
1996
01:32:32,418 --> 01:32:33,718
and you're aware
of the camera?
1997
01:32:34,918 --> 01:32:37,551
That's skill right there.
That's crazy.
1998
01:32:38,718 --> 01:32:40,852
If this doesn't show you
that you can be a star,
1999
01:32:40,885 --> 01:32:42,852
I don't know what will.
2000
01:32:42,885 --> 01:32:45,018
- You really think so?
- I know so.
2001
01:32:45,751 --> 01:32:47,085
Hmm.
2002
01:32:47,118 --> 01:32:49,484
I'm not into that
swinger stuff though.
2003
01:32:50,685 --> 01:32:52,152
- Swinger stuff?
- Yeah.
2004
01:32:52,185 --> 01:32:54,052
I like fucking you,
2005
01:32:54,085 --> 01:32:55,918
and I don't want to fuck
anybody else.
2006
01:32:55,952 --> 01:32:59,018
And I don't want to think
about you fucking other girls.
2007
01:33:00,185 --> 01:33:02,384
It'll be just us.
2008
01:33:02,418 --> 01:33:04,618
It's called
"couple scenes."
2009
01:33:04,651 --> 01:33:06,918
It'll be exclusive,
just me and you.
2010
01:33:06,952 --> 01:33:09,618
Getting paid to do
what we just did.
2011
01:33:09,651 --> 01:33:11,518
Shit, you would
have made $2,000
2012
01:33:11,551 --> 01:33:13,751
- for that video right there.
- Mm.
2013
01:33:13,785 --> 01:33:15,785
- How many times did you come?
- Three times.
2014
01:33:15,818 --> 01:33:18,985
You would have been paid two
grand to come three times.
2015
01:33:19,018 --> 01:33:20,052
I'm not
that good at math,
2016
01:33:20,085 --> 01:33:21,685
but that's
a really good deal.
2017
01:33:23,651 --> 01:33:25,785
I have to
sleep on it,
2018
01:33:25,818 --> 01:33:28,085
but it's not like I don't
already have the porn star name.
2019
01:33:28,118 --> 01:33:29,918
Right?
2020
01:33:33,018 --> 01:33:34,018
You play?
2021
01:33:34,718 --> 01:33:36,384
No, I eat off of it.
2022
01:33:36,418 --> 01:33:37,718
- You're such a smart-ass.
- Yeah.
2023
01:33:37,751 --> 01:33:39,952
Yeah, since I was six.
2024
01:33:41,952 --> 01:33:43,585
You going
to play me something?
2025
01:33:43,618 --> 01:33:45,852
- Gonna make me?
- Mm-hmm. Hmm.
2026
01:33:45,885 --> 01:33:46,952
Okay.
2027
01:33:57,751 --> 01:34:00,785
♪ I'm doing this tonight
2028
01:34:00,818 --> 01:34:03,751
♪ You're probably
Gonna start a fight
2029
01:34:03,785 --> 01:34:07,152
♪ I know this can't be right
2030
01:34:07,185 --> 01:34:10,118
♪ Hey, baby, come on
2031
01:34:10,152 --> 01:34:13,118
♪ I loved you endlessly
2032
01:34:13,152 --> 01:34:15,985
♪ When you weren't
There for me
2033
01:34:16,018 --> 01:34:22,118
♪ So now it's time to leave
And make it alone
2034
01:34:22,152 --> 01:34:25,852
♪ And I know
That I can't take no more
2035
01:34:25,885 --> 01:34:28,052
♪ It ain't no lie
2036
01:34:28,085 --> 01:34:31,118
♪ I wanna see you
Out that door
2037
01:34:31,152 --> 01:34:33,551
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye
2038
01:34:33,585 --> 01:34:35,551
♪ Don't really want
To make it tough
2039
01:34:35,585 --> 01:34:38,852
♪ I just want to tell you
That I've had enough
2040
01:34:38,885 --> 01:34:42,384
♪ It might sound crazy
But it ain't no lie
2041
01:34:42,418 --> 01:34:44,384
♪ Baby, bye, bye...
2042
01:34:44,418 --> 01:34:46,518
♪ I don't know
The ending yet...
2043
01:34:46,551 --> 01:34:47,785
♪ Bye ♪
2044
01:35:27,085 --> 01:35:28,085
So...
2045
01:35:29,551 --> 01:35:30,718
Where were you?
2046
01:35:33,685 --> 01:35:36,418
I texted you.
I was gone for the weekend.
2047
01:35:37,985 --> 01:35:39,985
I know.
2048
01:35:44,685 --> 01:35:46,518
That's not my question.
2049
01:35:47,918 --> 01:35:49,018
Where were you?
2050
01:35:51,918 --> 01:35:53,484
You serious right now?
2051
01:35:53,518 --> 01:35:54,985
Yeah,
I'm fuckin' serious.
2052
01:35:56,185 --> 01:35:57,153
I was in this
cute little town
2053
01:35:57,185 --> 01:35:59,085
called none of your
fuckin' business Texas.
2054
01:35:59,119 --> 01:36:00,952
How about
that's where I was.
2055
01:36:00,985 --> 01:36:02,451
- Oh, were ya?
- Yeah.
2056
01:36:03,418 --> 01:36:04,618
That sounds like
a lot of fun.
2057
01:36:04,651 --> 01:36:05,952
I hope you had
a good fuckin' time!
2058
01:36:08,518 --> 01:36:10,785
What the fuck was that, huh?
Huh? Huh?
2059
01:36:10,818 --> 01:36:11,852
Get your fuckin' hands
off me!
2060
01:36:11,885 --> 01:36:13,751
Hey, Lil,
come get your daughter!
2061
01:36:13,785 --> 01:36:15,852
- Huh?
- Mikey, go fuck yourself!
2062
01:36:15,885 --> 01:36:18,052
Okay. Look!
Look! Look! Look!
2063
01:36:19,618 --> 01:36:21,451
I was makin' us
money, okay?
2064
01:36:21,484 --> 01:36:24,551
I had to go down to Corpus
Christi to pick up some shit.
2065
01:36:24,585 --> 01:36:26,651
- For us!
- Oh, I don't believe you!
2066
01:36:26,685 --> 01:36:28,052
- You don't believe me?
- I don't fuckin' believe you!
2067
01:36:28,086 --> 01:36:29,551
You don't believe me?
2068
01:36:30,484 --> 01:36:32,451
Huh?
2069
01:36:32,484 --> 01:36:35,052
Four weeks ago,
I had zip, huh.
2070
01:36:35,086 --> 01:36:37,618
Now I got 3K!
Look at it!
2071
01:36:37,651 --> 01:36:38,651
Give me a fucking break!
2072
01:36:38,685 --> 01:36:40,451
When was the last time
you had money like that
2073
01:36:40,484 --> 01:36:41,618
under your
fucking roof, huh?
2074
01:36:41,651 --> 01:36:44,152
Now, if you want me to keep
paying for rent and food,
2075
01:36:44,185 --> 01:36:45,718
shut the fuck up!
2076
01:36:45,751 --> 01:36:47,685
And I'm not cleaning
that shit up, either!
2077
01:36:57,451 --> 01:37:00,384
She's in, man.
She's fuckin' in!
2078
01:37:00,418 --> 01:37:01,685
- Yeah? She's in?
- Yeah.
2079
01:37:01,718 --> 01:37:03,985
I'm still ironing out
the details, but guaranteed,
2080
01:37:04,018 --> 01:37:06,985
I'll have her shooting scenes
by September, baby!
2081
01:37:07,018 --> 01:37:08,852
That's pretty impressive
though, man.
2082
01:37:08,885 --> 01:37:11,384
Three weeks, you convinced
a girl to do porn?
2083
01:37:11,418 --> 01:37:13,451
Like, what the fuck.
2084
01:37:13,484 --> 01:37:15,118
I couldn't convince
my first girlfriend
2085
01:37:15,152 --> 01:37:17,685
to give me a blowjob
for three fucking years.
2086
01:37:17,718 --> 01:37:18,852
Hey, man,
2087
01:37:18,885 --> 01:37:22,952
what can I say, baby,
I'm good at what I do. Ha-ha!
2088
01:37:22,985 --> 01:37:24,818
So that means
you're going to be leaving?
2089
01:37:24,852 --> 01:37:26,685
Yeah, I'm leaving.
2090
01:37:26,718 --> 01:37:28,918
Well, when are you leaving?
2091
01:37:28,952 --> 01:37:30,751
Basically,
I need enough to float us
2092
01:37:30,785 --> 01:37:31,985
until she starts shootin'.
2093
01:37:32,019 --> 01:37:34,751
I'm thinkin' I could have that
by the end of August, easy.
2094
01:37:34,785 --> 01:37:36,952
Dude, it's going to suck
for you to go.
2095
01:37:36,985 --> 01:37:38,685
I know, man,
it's going to suck
2096
01:37:38,718 --> 01:37:40,651
not hanging with you,
anymore, Lonnie.
2097
01:37:40,685 --> 01:37:42,651
You're my guy!
But, dude,
2098
01:37:42,685 --> 01:37:44,053
I'm on top of my game
right now,
2099
01:37:44,085 --> 01:37:46,085
on, like, every single
possible level.
2100
01:37:46,118 --> 01:37:48,651
Physical stamina,
my mind is sharp.
2101
01:37:48,685 --> 01:37:49,618
Now that I'm making money,
2102
01:37:49,651 --> 01:37:52,418
I'm taking 5-HTP
for serotonin in my brain.
2103
01:37:52,451 --> 01:37:54,585
Dude,
with my skill and ability
2104
01:37:54,618 --> 01:37:55,918
and my eidetic memory shit,
2105
01:37:55,952 --> 01:37:57,551
there's no denying
what I could do.
2106
01:37:57,585 --> 01:37:59,618
The universe
is on my side, bro.
2107
01:37:59,651 --> 01:38:00,718
Yeah?
2108
01:38:00,751 --> 01:38:03,618
Saber Entertainment's
first signed contract girl.
2109
01:38:03,651 --> 01:38:05,585
Strawberry!
Huh? You like that?
2110
01:38:05,618 --> 01:38:06,585
I do, yeah.
2111
01:38:06,618 --> 01:38:08,818
Just Strawberry.
No need for anything fancy,
2112
01:38:08,852 --> 01:38:10,585
all the biggest celebrities
have one name.
2113
01:38:10,618 --> 01:38:11,986
Cher. Prince. Madonna.
2114
01:38:12,019 --> 01:38:14,118
Ooh, I'm getting a LLC
for Saber Entertainment.
2115
01:38:14,152 --> 01:38:16,651
- Yeah?
- I had a DBA for Mikey Saber,
2116
01:38:16,685 --> 01:38:19,384
but, uh, I didn't pay my annual
fees, so it expired,
2117
01:38:19,418 --> 01:38:21,551
and I had a falling out
with my old business partner.
2118
01:38:21,585 --> 01:38:23,685
But I do have
Mike Saber trademarked.
2119
01:38:23,718 --> 01:38:24,852
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
2120
01:38:24,885 --> 01:38:27,018
Oh, it's going to be a big
announcement at AdultCon, bro.
2121
01:38:27,052 --> 01:38:28,885
- Yeah?
- Yeah, dude.
2122
01:38:28,918 --> 01:38:30,118
You know what,
this small-town life,
2123
01:38:30,152 --> 01:38:31,252
it just ain't for me, man.
2124
01:38:31,285 --> 01:38:34,052
No offense. But, like,
I'm a big-city guy, you know.
2125
01:38:34,085 --> 01:38:36,052
Dude, if you want, I can
hook you up with Leondria
2126
01:38:36,085 --> 01:38:37,585
so you can have
my clientele.
2127
01:38:37,618 --> 01:38:38,818
- Hell yeah!
- Yeah.
2128
01:38:38,852 --> 01:38:40,618
I just don't want you
selling fuckin' flags
2129
01:38:40,651 --> 01:38:41,953
for the rest of your life,
you know what I mean?
2130
01:38:41,986 --> 01:38:43,052
Oh, here's the exit
right here, bro!
2131
01:38:43,085 --> 01:38:45,918
Fuck! Shit! What the fuck!
2132
01:38:45,953 --> 01:38:47,818
Dude, we're fucked,
dude, we're fucked!
2133
01:38:47,852 --> 01:38:49,418
I fuckin' know, man.
2134
01:38:49,451 --> 01:38:51,052
We're fucked!
We're fucked!
2135
01:38:51,085 --> 01:38:52,484
Oh, my God, Lonnie,
2136
01:38:52,518 --> 01:38:54,685
why'd you fuckin' pull off
like that, man?
2137
01:38:54,718 --> 01:38:55,751
I didn't do
anything, man,
2138
01:38:55,785 --> 01:38:56,818
I just fuckin'
took the turn
2139
01:38:56,852 --> 01:38:58,751
like you fuckin'
asked me to, man!
2140
01:38:58,785 --> 01:39:00,751
Stop the car, man.
Stop the fucking car.
2141
01:39:00,785 --> 01:39:02,919
Stop the fucking car! Stop!
2142
01:39:04,718 --> 01:39:05,852
Where you going?
2143
01:39:07,585 --> 01:39:09,418
Crap! Fuck!
2144
01:39:11,651 --> 01:39:13,585
Listen. Listen!
2145
01:39:14,451 --> 01:39:15,751
Asshole, look at me.
2146
01:39:17,718 --> 01:39:19,118
I was never with you.
2147
01:39:19,152 --> 01:39:21,751
You don't know me.
I don't know you.
2148
01:39:21,785 --> 01:39:24,085
This never happened.
Are you listening to me?
2149
01:39:24,118 --> 01:39:25,152
What are we going to do?
2150
01:39:25,185 --> 01:39:27,919
"We"? You did this,
not me!
2151
01:39:27,952 --> 01:39:29,818
Look at me, you don't know me.
Say it. Say it.
2152
01:39:29,852 --> 01:39:31,384
You don't know me, say it.
2153
01:39:31,418 --> 01:39:33,685
I don't know you, man.
2154
01:39:33,718 --> 01:39:34,886
Fuck!
2155
01:39:40,518 --> 01:39:42,886
Jesus Christ!
What the fuck, Mikey!
2156
01:39:42,919 --> 01:39:44,351
Fuck.
2157
01:39:55,585 --> 01:39:56,651
Mikey?
2158
01:39:56,685 --> 01:39:57,886
- Yeah, no, I'm fine.
- You okay?
2159
01:39:57,919 --> 01:39:58,952
Yeah, I'm okay,
thanks.
2160
01:39:58,985 --> 01:40:00,052
You scared
the shit out of me.
2161
01:40:00,085 --> 01:40:01,018
I know.
I just don't feel good.
2162
01:40:01,052 --> 01:40:03,551
- Are you sure you're okay?
- Yup, thank you.
2163
01:40:14,118 --> 01:40:15,018
According to authorities,
2164
01:40:15,052 --> 01:40:17,018
the 22-car pileup
was caused
2165
01:40:17,052 --> 01:40:19,585
by a reckless driver
that fled the scene.
2166
01:40:19,618 --> 01:40:21,886
I hope they find
who's responsible for this.
2167
01:40:21,918 --> 01:40:23,651
Better not be
a drunk driver.
2168
01:40:23,685 --> 01:40:25,618
Oh, they will find them.
2169
01:40:26,952 --> 01:40:30,651
They'll do some kind of CS stuff.
Investigation.
2170
01:40:31,685 --> 01:40:33,785
Can you guys keep it down?
I can't hear.
2171
01:40:33,819 --> 01:40:35,018
- Oh, man.
- Geez, I'm sorry,
2172
01:40:35,052 --> 01:40:35,918
Mikey gives a shit
about something...
2173
01:40:35,952 --> 01:40:36,952
Shut up.
I can't hear the announcer.
2174
01:40:36,985 --> 01:40:38,185
I can't hear anything
'cause you're talking!
2175
01:40:38,219 --> 01:40:39,785
Seriously, that's tragic shit,
you guys are joking around.
2176
01:40:39,819 --> 01:40:40,952
Jesus Christ.
2177
01:40:40,985 --> 01:40:42,451
Witnesses say...
2178
01:40:42,484 --> 01:40:43,152
...that the reckless driver
crossed from the far left lane
2179
01:40:43,185 --> 01:40:45,152
in front of a semitruck,
2180
01:40:45,185 --> 01:40:46,819
causing the truck
to jackknife,
2181
01:40:46,853 --> 01:40:49,018
resulting in
a chain-reaction crash
2182
01:40:49,052 --> 01:40:51,384
that came out of nowhere.
2183
01:40:52,484 --> 01:40:53,484
Hey.
2184
01:40:54,518 --> 01:40:55,651
Hey. How you doing?
2185
01:40:57,152 --> 01:41:00,085
Yeah. Everything's good.
2186
01:41:00,118 --> 01:41:02,853
Uh... Yeah, we were
just watching the news.
2187
01:41:02,885 --> 01:41:03,985
Shit's crazy, right?
2188
01:41:04,785 --> 01:41:07,384
I know.
2189
01:41:07,418 --> 01:41:09,685
Um, look,
some business stuff came up,
2190
01:41:09,718 --> 01:41:10,985
so I'm not sure
I can make it tonight.
2191
01:41:12,418 --> 01:41:13,351
No, no, it's all good,
2192
01:41:13,384 --> 01:41:14,985
just some business stuff
I got to take care of.
2193
01:41:16,518 --> 01:41:17,786
Yeah.
2194
01:41:17,819 --> 01:41:19,885
Okay. Okay, bye.
2195
01:41:37,052 --> 01:41:39,085
Mikey! Mikey!
2196
01:41:39,118 --> 01:41:40,451
Oh, my God,
there's fuckin' cops
2197
01:41:40,484 --> 01:41:41,585
outside of fuckin' Lonnie's!
2198
01:41:41,618 --> 01:41:43,786
Something's goin' down!
2199
01:41:43,818 --> 01:41:44,885
- What?
- Come quick,
2200
01:41:44,918 --> 01:41:47,085
there's cops next door,
oh, my gosh!
2201
01:41:48,418 --> 01:41:49,651
The sheriff's here, too!
2202
01:41:51,451 --> 01:41:52,852
Holy shit.
2203
01:41:52,885 --> 01:41:54,118
Those sarge
are gorgeous.
2204
01:41:54,152 --> 01:41:55,152
This is fuckin' crazy.
2205
01:41:55,185 --> 01:41:58,018
Oh, my God, Ma,
the news. Fucking news is...
2206
01:41:58,052 --> 01:42:00,418
- I'm gonna go check it out.
- Wait...
2207
01:42:00,451 --> 01:42:01,618
Come on.
2208
01:42:03,952 --> 01:42:05,418
Mom, come on.
2209
01:42:24,418 --> 01:42:25,651
Thank you, Nathan.
2210
01:42:25,685 --> 01:42:27,952
Texas city resident,
Lonnifer Hill,
2211
01:42:27,985 --> 01:42:31,018
is in custody
at the Galveston County Jail.
2212
01:42:31,052 --> 01:42:32,152
He is scheduled to make
2213
01:42:32,185 --> 01:42:34,451
his court appearance
this afternoon...
2214
01:42:34,484 --> 01:42:36,618
- Morning.
- Morning.
2215
01:42:36,651 --> 01:42:37,551
According to his attorney,
2216
01:42:37,585 --> 01:42:40,451
a bond is not being
considered at this time.
2217
01:42:40,484 --> 01:42:41,351
Thank you, Lily.
2218
01:42:41,384 --> 01:42:43,918
Of the 14 individuals
taken to hospitals,
2219
01:42:43,952 --> 01:42:45,618
eight are still being treated.
2220
01:42:45,651 --> 01:42:46,752
There will be
a lot of investigation
2221
01:42:46,785 --> 01:42:47,818
into every action
that led to this.
2222
01:42:47,852 --> 01:42:48,885
I'm gonna
get some milk.
2223
01:42:48,918 --> 01:42:49,952
One of the State
Representatives...
2224
01:42:49,985 --> 01:42:51,018
- Okay.
- ...of this area,
2225
01:42:51,052 --> 01:42:53,518
Blake Farenthold,
has told News 12...
2226
01:43:00,585 --> 01:43:02,384
Hey, watch your bike
there, man.
2227
01:43:02,418 --> 01:43:04,686
I mean,
the cars just kept coming and coming.
2228
01:43:04,719 --> 01:43:07,484
De Leo made it
out, untouched, but shaken.
2229
01:43:07,518 --> 01:43:09,852
That had to be
so scary for those drivers.
2230
01:43:09,885 --> 01:43:11,985
Channel 5 spoke to the
neighbor of the individual
2231
01:43:12,018 --> 01:43:14,852
allegedly responsible
for the incident last night.
2232
01:43:14,885 --> 01:43:19,686
It's shocking! I mean,
I've known him forever.
2233
01:43:19,719 --> 01:43:22,852
They got him, man.
Son of a bitch!
2234
01:43:22,885 --> 01:43:24,118
- He's the sweetest guy...
- $3.
2235
01:43:24,152 --> 01:43:27,451
...always shy, but nice.
Great, great neighbor.
2236
01:43:31,085 --> 01:43:34,652
Hey. They've been playing
my interview all morning.
2237
01:43:34,686 --> 01:43:36,686
I should have put on
some makeup.
2238
01:43:36,718 --> 01:43:38,918
Looked like shit.
2239
01:43:44,518 --> 01:43:46,686
Mr. Hill has
no prior convictions,
2240
01:43:46,718 --> 01:43:49,384
however, this isn't
his first run-in
2241
01:43:49,418 --> 01:43:51,952
with the Galveston County
District Attorney's Office.
2242
01:43:51,985 --> 01:43:56,451
In 2014, Mr. Hill
had "stolen valor" charges
2243
01:43:56,484 --> 01:43:59,484
filed against him which
were subsequently dropped.
2244
01:43:59,518 --> 01:44:00,785
That's all for now.
2245
01:44:00,818 --> 01:44:02,652
Oh, Lonnie's fucked.
2246
01:44:02,685 --> 01:44:04,918
State Highway 146
in Texas City remains closed
2247
01:44:04,952 --> 01:44:06,551
while cleanup crews
continue to remove
2248
01:44:06,585 --> 01:44:08,052
wreckage from
the southbound lanes.
2249
01:44:12,484 --> 01:44:14,118
Mikey, I'm fixin'
to make supper,
2250
01:44:14,152 --> 01:44:15,018
what would you like?
2251
01:44:15,052 --> 01:44:17,952
Shit on a shingle
or chicken fried steak?
2252
01:44:18,718 --> 01:44:20,518
I ain't hungry, Lil.
2253
01:44:20,551 --> 01:44:21,718
Suit yourself.
2254
01:44:28,551 --> 01:44:31,551
Uh-huh.
No, I, uh, miss you, too.
2255
01:44:31,586 --> 01:44:33,918
I'm just tied up at work with
a client for a little bit,
2256
01:44:33,952 --> 01:44:35,818
but, yeah, I should
be able to meet up soon.
2257
01:44:35,852 --> 01:44:37,619
- Three, two, one.
- Uh-huh.
2258
01:44:37,651 --> 01:44:38,518
- Okay.
- This is the residence
2259
01:44:38,551 --> 01:44:40,651
of Lonnie Hill,
the driver responsible
2260
01:44:40,685 --> 01:44:41,718
for the chain-reaction crash
2261
01:44:41,751 --> 01:44:43,052
that took place
on Highway 146,
2262
01:44:43,085 --> 01:44:44,785
- on Tuesday.
- No, everything's fine.
2263
01:44:44,818 --> 01:44:46,586
Okay. Uh, babe, I gotta go.
Let me hit you right back.
2264
01:44:46,619 --> 01:44:47,885
We have not received
any comments from his family
2265
01:44:47,918 --> 01:44:49,152
at this time.
2266
01:44:49,185 --> 01:44:50,619
Okay, let's do it again.
2267
01:44:53,052 --> 01:44:54,418
Yo!
2268
01:44:54,451 --> 01:44:55,818
Lonnie's lawyer's talking!
2269
01:44:56,885 --> 01:44:59,451
My client, Lonnifer Hill,
2270
01:44:59,484 --> 01:45:02,384
will remain in custody
for the time being,
2271
01:45:02,418 --> 01:45:03,586
but he is cooperating fully
2272
01:45:03,618 --> 01:45:06,852
with the Galveston County
Police Department.
2273
01:45:06,885 --> 01:45:09,018
My client has prepared
a statement
2274
01:45:09,052 --> 01:45:10,484
that I would like to read.
2275
01:45:11,985 --> 01:45:14,085
"My error of judgement
2276
01:45:14,118 --> 01:45:17,384
"has led to
irreversible ramifications,
2277
01:45:17,418 --> 01:45:21,751
"and I am deeply sorry to
those I've affected and hurt.
2278
01:45:22,185 --> 01:45:23,952
"I panicked
2279
01:45:23,985 --> 01:45:26,818
"and wrongfully left
a crash site.
2280
01:45:26,852 --> 01:45:29,852
"I take full responsibility
for my actions
2281
01:45:29,885 --> 01:45:33,018
"and will accept
the consequences.
2282
01:45:33,052 --> 01:45:34,384
"Thank you."
2283
01:45:34,418 --> 01:45:35,751
Three individuals
2284
01:45:35,785 --> 01:45:38,484
who sustained
serious bodily injury
2285
01:45:38,519 --> 01:45:42,384
remain under close observation
at John Sealy Hospital.
2286
01:45:42,418 --> 01:45:43,818
Back to you in the studio.
2287
01:45:43,852 --> 01:45:46,618
Sweet little Lonniekins.
2288
01:45:46,651 --> 01:45:48,451
What did you do?
2289
01:45:48,484 --> 01:45:50,152
...has the
latest on the race for 2016.
2290
01:45:50,185 --> 01:45:52,018
Within
hours, a new poll
2291
01:45:52,052 --> 01:45:54,751
showing Hillary Clinton with
a solid lead in the race
2292
01:45:54,785 --> 01:45:57,718
for the White House,
Donald Trump declares this.
2293
01:45:57,751 --> 01:45:59,219
I'm afraid
2294
01:45:59,252 --> 01:46:00,818
the election is gonna be rigged.
I have to be honest.
2295
01:46:09,918 --> 01:46:11,852
Thank you! Fuck!
2296
01:46:11,885 --> 01:46:14,018
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
2297
01:46:14,052 --> 01:46:15,519
Okay. Okay.
2298
01:46:15,551 --> 01:46:16,885
Okay. Okay.
2299
01:46:19,918 --> 01:46:22,818
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank...
2300
01:46:25,451 --> 01:46:26,551
Yeah.
2301
01:46:29,952 --> 01:46:30,952
All right.
2302
01:46:59,118 --> 01:47:00,718
Strawberry,
our lives are about to...
2303
01:47:01,918 --> 01:47:02,952
Hello, stranger.
2304
01:47:02,985 --> 01:47:04,818
Oh. Sorry, guys.
Sorry, Ms. Phan.
2305
01:47:04,852 --> 01:47:07,118
Strawberry, I need to talk
to you outside now. Come.
2306
01:47:10,885 --> 01:47:13,918
Look. I've been doing
some real soul-searching.
2307
01:47:13,952 --> 01:47:16,052
That pileup that happened
the other day,
2308
01:47:16,085 --> 01:47:19,484
that shit affected me.
Life could change on a dime.
2309
01:47:19,518 --> 01:47:20,452
You could have been
2310
01:47:20,484 --> 01:47:21,384
in one of those cars.
2311
01:47:21,419 --> 01:47:23,618
I could have been
in one of those cars.
2312
01:47:23,651 --> 01:47:25,918
Life would be so
different right now.
2313
01:47:25,952 --> 01:47:28,651
Look, I was gonna wait
a few weeks to ask you,
2314
01:47:28,685 --> 01:47:29,718
but I'm not wasting
2315
01:47:29,751 --> 01:47:31,452
any more time.
2316
01:47:31,484 --> 01:47:33,685
- Are you proposing to me?
- What?
2317
01:47:33,718 --> 01:47:35,118
Are you proposing to me?
2318
01:47:35,152 --> 01:47:36,685
No! Here.
2319
01:47:36,718 --> 01:47:38,685
Look, we gotta
get out of here.
2320
01:47:38,718 --> 01:47:42,018
That shit that happened on
146, that was a sign.
2321
01:47:42,052 --> 01:47:44,085
To do what makes
you happy today.
2322
01:47:44,118 --> 01:47:46,618
Because there might
not be a tomorrow.
2323
01:47:47,551 --> 01:47:49,718
Look, I want you
to celebrate
2324
01:47:49,751 --> 01:47:52,685
your 18th birthday
in LA with me.
2325
01:47:52,718 --> 01:47:55,152
I want you to follow your
destiny, and I wanna be
2326
01:47:55,185 --> 01:47:58,484
right there next to you
to help you follow it.
2327
01:47:58,518 --> 01:47:59,651
So what do you say?
2328
01:48:00,751 --> 01:48:02,018
Let's start
a new life together
2329
01:48:02,052 --> 01:48:05,484
and get the fuck outta this
dead-end shit-hole town, okay?
2330
01:48:05,518 --> 01:48:07,419
Do you mean, like, now?
2331
01:48:07,451 --> 01:48:09,018
Well, we'll leave tomorrow
2332
01:48:09,052 --> 01:48:11,484
and we'll be in LA
by Monday, babe.
2333
01:48:11,518 --> 01:48:13,818
Oh, my God! Mikey!
2334
01:48:13,852 --> 01:48:16,052
- I think I'm dreaming!
- Me, too!
2335
01:48:18,451 --> 01:48:20,152
Ms. Phan,
I have to quit.
2336
01:48:20,185 --> 01:48:23,118
I love you guys,
but I'm going to LA with Mikey.
2337
01:48:29,152 --> 01:48:31,418
Thank you for all the free
donuts, Ms. Phan.
2338
01:48:37,952 --> 01:48:40,451
So we're gonna
leave at 10:00 a.m., okay?
2339
01:48:40,484 --> 01:48:42,852
I'm gonna get a car,
I'm gonna pick you up...
2340
01:48:42,885 --> 01:48:44,985
- You got a car?
- Oh, I mean get a taxi.
2341
01:48:45,018 --> 01:48:46,618
I'm gonna have
a taxi pick us up
2342
01:48:46,651 --> 01:48:47,852
and take us
to the station,
2343
01:48:47,885 --> 01:48:50,818
and we're taking a bus
to Hollywood, baby.
2344
01:48:51,618 --> 01:48:53,085
- Okay.
- So just be packed
2345
01:48:53,118 --> 01:48:55,018
and ready to go at 10:00,
but just bring one bag,
2346
01:48:55,052 --> 01:48:56,085
'cause when we get to LA,
2347
01:48:56,118 --> 01:48:57,952
we're going to buy
all new shit.
2348
01:49:01,018 --> 01:49:02,685
- Mikey?
- Yeah?
2349
01:49:04,685 --> 01:49:05,952
You make me so happy.
2350
01:49:16,985 --> 01:49:18,085
- Hey.
- Hey.
2351
01:49:21,518 --> 01:49:22,551
Mm-hmm.
2352
01:49:32,618 --> 01:49:34,685
- Is Lil here? She's...
- She's sleeping.
2353
01:49:45,885 --> 01:49:48,085
Uh...
2354
01:49:51,085 --> 01:49:52,585
It's been
a crazy month, huh?
2355
01:49:53,451 --> 01:49:55,085
Sure has.
2356
01:49:55,118 --> 01:49:56,152
Poor Lonnie.
2357
01:49:56,185 --> 01:49:57,985
- Oh, God, so sad.
- So fucked up.
2358
01:49:59,818 --> 01:50:02,085
- I hope he's all right.
- Yeah, me, too.
2359
01:50:04,585 --> 01:50:05,585
Uh...
2360
01:50:06,952 --> 01:50:09,052
Yeah, it's just
been so wild,
2361
01:50:09,085 --> 01:50:10,818
we've been fighting
and all that stuff.
2362
01:50:13,484 --> 01:50:14,484
Yeah.
2363
01:50:15,685 --> 01:50:17,418
I'm not...
I'm not really in the mood.
2364
01:50:17,451 --> 01:50:18,585
Huh?
2365
01:50:18,618 --> 01:50:20,152
I'm not really in the mood
to mess around.
2366
01:50:20,185 --> 01:50:21,484
Oh.
2367
01:50:21,518 --> 01:50:22,751
- Yeah.
- Just saying.
2368
01:50:22,785 --> 01:50:23,885
- Okay.
- Okay.
2369
01:50:26,751 --> 01:50:27,618
Just been fighting a lot,
2370
01:50:27,651 --> 01:50:29,785
been a lot of drama
lately. And, uh...
2371
01:50:33,918 --> 01:50:35,718
We don't want to fight,
you know what I mean.
2372
01:50:37,451 --> 01:50:39,384
I know you don't want that.
I don't want that.
2373
01:50:42,818 --> 01:50:43,818
So...
2374
01:50:44,751 --> 01:50:45,751
Yeah.
2375
01:50:48,751 --> 01:50:49,952
Look, I'm...
2376
01:50:51,852 --> 01:50:52,885
I'm just gonna tell ya,
2377
01:50:52,918 --> 01:50:54,918
I'm going back to
California in the morning.
2378
01:50:58,952 --> 01:50:59,985
So...
2379
01:51:04,785 --> 01:51:06,085
- I mean...
- You're going back
2380
01:51:06,118 --> 01:51:07,818
- to California.
- Yeah.
2381
01:51:09,018 --> 01:51:10,451
I got some work,
2382
01:51:11,751 --> 01:51:13,718
so that's good.
And...
2383
01:51:15,018 --> 01:51:16,451
Uh...
2384
01:51:18,818 --> 01:51:22,152
You know, this has not
been going good with us.
2385
01:51:22,186 --> 01:51:24,618
It's so much drama,
throwing coffee pots.
2386
01:51:24,651 --> 01:51:26,751
We don't need that,
you know. And...
2387
01:51:27,785 --> 01:51:29,551
But this has been fun.
2388
01:51:29,585 --> 01:51:31,085
You know, we had some good times.
I know...
2389
01:51:34,451 --> 01:51:35,952
Just feels like, uh...
2390
01:51:35,985 --> 01:51:38,818
Just feels like it's time to
go, you know?
2391
01:51:38,852 --> 01:51:42,052
I'm sure Lil's ready for me to go.
I...
2392
01:51:44,153 --> 01:51:45,351
Yeah.
2393
01:51:48,985 --> 01:51:50,018
I don't want
to fight with you,
2394
01:51:50,052 --> 01:51:51,085
you know what I mean,
2395
01:51:51,118 --> 01:51:53,052
but we had good times,
as always.
2396
01:51:53,085 --> 01:51:55,685
And thank you
for the hospitality.
2397
01:51:57,018 --> 01:51:59,585
It's been great.
So...
2398
01:52:02,418 --> 01:52:04,418
You know, I wanted to
tell you and Lil together,
2399
01:52:04,451 --> 01:52:06,918
but I guess I could just
tell her in the morning,
2400
01:52:06,952 --> 01:52:09,153
before I go.
Or if I...
2401
01:52:09,186 --> 01:52:10,885
I don't see her,
I can...
2402
01:52:10,918 --> 01:52:13,484
I'll call her or something,
and thank her. But...
2403
01:52:16,985 --> 01:52:18,384
So I'm gonna go to bed.
2404
01:52:27,618 --> 01:52:29,451
Okay? We're good?
2405
01:52:30,119 --> 01:52:31,384
You understand.
2406
01:54:51,019 --> 01:54:53,551
Aw, look at
this cutie pie.
2407
01:54:53,585 --> 01:54:54,651
Aw.
2408
01:54:54,685 --> 01:54:55,986
Hey, yo, B,
hit the light.
2409
01:54:56,019 --> 01:54:57,718
Wakey-wakey,
eggs and bakey!
2410
01:54:59,152 --> 01:55:01,918
- Yo!
- Ahh! Ah, what the fuck!
2411
01:55:03,518 --> 01:55:04,685
Oh, look out, it's me!
2412
01:55:04,718 --> 01:55:06,618
Look at this scared
motherfucker, man.
2413
01:55:06,651 --> 01:55:07,986
June?
2414
01:55:08,651 --> 01:55:09,918
It's me, homeboy.
2415
01:55:09,953 --> 01:55:11,118
- What the fuck?
- That's right.
2416
01:55:12,618 --> 01:55:14,718
What...
What are you doing here?
2417
01:55:14,751 --> 01:55:16,751
Money. Weed.
2418
01:55:16,785 --> 01:55:19,052
Get your shit
and get the fuck out!
2419
01:55:19,085 --> 01:55:20,651
June, what the fuck,
I'm good with your mama.
2420
01:55:20,685 --> 01:55:21,918
What are you talking about?
I'm not giving you shit.
2421
01:55:21,953 --> 01:55:24,451
You good with my mama?
Yeah, nah. See...
2422
01:55:24,484 --> 01:55:26,585
This is your eviction
notice, Mikey.
2423
01:55:26,618 --> 01:55:28,118
I don't think
you got the message.
2424
01:55:28,152 --> 01:55:29,953
No, wait, what the fuck
are you talking about?
2425
01:55:29,986 --> 01:55:31,785
- I'm good with your mama...
- She sent us here.
2426
01:55:31,818 --> 01:55:33,518
Give me my phone,
I'm calling Leondria.
2427
01:55:33,551 --> 01:55:34,785
That shit's not an option.
2428
01:55:34,818 --> 01:55:35,718
Where the hell
the money at?
2429
01:55:35,751 --> 01:55:37,018
No, fuck you,
I'm not giving you shit!
2430
01:55:37,052 --> 01:55:37,919
- Fuck me?
- I'm not telling you
2431
01:55:37,953 --> 01:55:39,885
- where my fucking money is.
- Fuck me?
2432
01:55:39,919 --> 01:55:41,618
- It's under the mattress!
- Yo, go ahead.
2433
01:55:43,685 --> 01:55:45,018
What the hell
are you doing?
2434
01:55:45,052 --> 01:55:46,785
- Damn!
- What the fuck!
2435
01:55:46,818 --> 01:55:48,052
- What are you doing, man?
- What the fuck, man!
2436
01:55:48,085 --> 01:55:49,118
Motherfucker's naked!
2437
01:55:49,152 --> 01:55:50,919
The money's
under the mattress!
2438
01:55:50,953 --> 01:55:52,919
Shut the fuck up!
What are you doing? No!
2439
01:55:52,953 --> 01:55:54,384
On the other side,
it's under the mattress.
2440
01:55:54,418 --> 01:55:55,319
Go and get that, B.
2441
01:55:55,351 --> 01:55:57,384
This motherfucker
is layin' on the bed.
2442
01:55:57,418 --> 01:55:58,585
Get that money!
Get that money!
2443
01:55:58,618 --> 01:55:59,651
What are you doing?
2444
01:55:59,685 --> 01:56:00,885
I'm sorry, Mikey.
2445
01:56:00,919 --> 01:56:02,852
Don't! Stop! Stop!
2446
01:56:05,651 --> 01:56:07,952
That's my money!
Hey, that's my fuckin' money!
2447
01:56:07,985 --> 01:56:09,018
What are you doing?
2448
01:56:09,052 --> 01:56:10,085
Look, I was gonna
leave tomorrow,
2449
01:56:10,118 --> 01:56:11,718
give me that shit back.
Come on, June. Be cool.
2450
01:56:11,751 --> 01:56:12,886
- I want you out tonight.
- Oh, fuck you, Lil!
2451
01:56:12,919 --> 01:56:14,152
I don't give
a fuck about you!
2452
01:56:14,185 --> 01:56:15,118
- Yeah fuck you!
- I don't give a fuck
2453
01:56:15,152 --> 01:56:17,384
about nothin' that
they got goin' on over here.
2454
01:56:17,418 --> 01:56:18,651
I'm here
for a motherfuckin' job.
2455
01:56:18,685 --> 01:56:20,152
- Give me that shit back!
- Get your ass back!
2456
01:56:20,185 --> 01:56:22,085
- What are you doing?
- Thank you so much.
2457
01:56:22,118 --> 01:56:23,152
Get dressed, man!
2458
01:56:23,185 --> 01:56:24,785
I see, you bitches played me.
2459
01:56:24,818 --> 01:56:25,751
Look at all this money...
2460
01:56:25,785 --> 01:56:28,451
Oh, this is fuckin' great!
This is just great!
2461
01:56:28,484 --> 01:56:30,018
- Fuck you!
- So much fuckin' money!
2462
01:56:30,052 --> 01:56:32,018
I can't believe she called me
over here for this shit, man!
2463
01:56:32,052 --> 01:56:33,418
Fuck you,
I paid for August rent!
2464
01:56:33,451 --> 01:56:34,484
Give me some of that back!
2465
01:56:34,518 --> 01:56:35,685
Now give me my mom weed,
homeboy!
2466
01:56:35,718 --> 01:56:37,152
I'm not telling you
where the weed's at!
2467
01:56:37,185 --> 01:56:38,219
I'mma fuck you up!
2468
01:56:38,252 --> 01:56:39,651
You got my money,
you're not getting my weed!
2469
01:56:39,685 --> 01:56:40,818
It's right over there
actually.
2470
01:56:40,853 --> 01:56:41,685
You fuckin' bitch!
2471
01:56:41,718 --> 01:56:43,551
Ernesto, you get...
2472
01:56:43,585 --> 01:56:45,052
- God...
- Oh, it's so hot
2473
01:56:45,085 --> 01:56:47,618
in here. Ma, are you hot?
Oh, Ma, it's so hot.
2474
01:56:47,651 --> 01:56:48,585
I'll fucking lunge kick
you and your mom!
2475
01:56:48,618 --> 01:56:50,751
Oh, will you?
You got a green belt?
2476
01:56:50,785 --> 01:56:51,818
You gonna do
some of those moves?
2477
01:56:51,853 --> 01:56:53,551
- Fuck you, bitch!
- Shut the fuck up!
2478
01:56:53,585 --> 01:56:55,918
- Relax, Ernesto!
- Get him out, guys.
2479
01:56:55,952 --> 01:56:56,785
Now get your shit
and get out.
2480
01:56:56,818 --> 01:56:57,751
That's right.
It's time to go.
2481
01:56:57,785 --> 01:56:59,484
And don't even
think about stepping foot
2482
01:56:59,518 --> 01:57:01,518
in Texas City again.
You got me?
2483
01:57:01,551 --> 01:57:03,952
Ain't no lie, baby,
bye, bye, bye.
2484
01:57:05,152 --> 01:57:06,384
Can I put my clothes on,
please,
2485
01:57:06,418 --> 01:57:07,451
can you just
give me some privacy
2486
01:57:07,484 --> 01:57:08,618
so I can put
my clothes on, please?
2487
01:57:08,651 --> 01:57:11,052
You got 30 motherfuckin'
seconds, homeboy.
2488
01:57:11,085 --> 01:57:12,918
Thirty seconds
'cause you wasting my time.
2489
01:57:12,952 --> 01:57:13,853
Okay.
2490
01:57:13,885 --> 01:57:14,853
That's less
than a minute, Mikey.
2491
01:57:14,885 --> 01:57:16,685
Yeah,
I'll give you less than a minute.
2492
01:57:16,718 --> 01:57:17,685
Less than
a motherfuckin' minute.
2493
01:57:17,718 --> 01:57:19,551
I'll give you
less than a fuckin' minute.
2494
01:57:19,585 --> 01:57:21,618
Thirty seconds
starts now.
2495
01:57:21,651 --> 01:57:23,451
- You hear me? 30 seconds.
- Yup.
2496
01:57:23,484 --> 01:57:25,518
Thank you. All right,
let me get changed. Jesus.
2497
01:57:25,551 --> 01:57:26,585
Motherfucker.
2498
01:57:26,618 --> 01:57:28,451
Look at
all this money.
2499
01:57:28,484 --> 01:57:29,985
Hurry the the fuck up,
you nasty bitch.
2500
01:57:31,085 --> 01:57:33,152
One, two...
2501
01:57:33,185 --> 01:57:37,918
...three, four, five, six,
seven, eight,
2502
01:57:37,952 --> 01:57:39,451
nine... Thirty!
2503
01:57:43,853 --> 01:57:45,052
Oh, man.
2504
01:57:45,085 --> 01:57:46,685
Mama's gonna kill me.
2505
01:58:22,118 --> 01:58:23,918
Leondria!
2506
01:58:23,952 --> 01:58:25,885
Shit. Open up!
2507
01:58:26,551 --> 01:58:27,685
- Whoa!
- Shit.
2508
01:58:27,718 --> 01:58:28,752
- Oh!
- Okay, sorry.
2509
01:58:28,786 --> 01:58:30,786
Oh, fuck this!
What are you doing?
2510
01:58:30,818 --> 01:58:31,852
- We gotta talk.
- Where's June?
2511
01:58:31,885 --> 01:58:33,786
- What do you mean? You sent...
- Wait! I don't...
2512
01:58:33,818 --> 01:58:34,852
Listen. Go in the back.
2513
01:58:34,885 --> 01:58:36,685
Okay. Can...
Can I have a towel?
2514
01:58:36,718 --> 01:58:37,918
Hell no!
Go that way.
2515
01:58:38,952 --> 01:58:39,952
Fuck this.
2516
01:58:41,985 --> 01:58:43,418
Cover that shit up, boy.
2517
01:58:47,152 --> 01:58:48,451
Okay, look, yeah,
you want me to admit it,
2518
01:58:48,484 --> 01:58:49,618
I was selling
to the hardhats.
2519
01:58:49,651 --> 01:58:51,651
I know you told me not to,
but they're good customers.
2520
01:58:51,685 --> 01:58:53,551
They're good guys.
2521
01:58:53,585 --> 01:58:55,484
I... I...
You got their money.
2522
01:59:01,018 --> 01:59:02,152
Yes?
2523
01:59:02,185 --> 01:59:03,685
Yeah. Out back.
2524
01:59:09,451 --> 01:59:12,118
You're persona non grata.
2525
01:59:12,152 --> 01:59:14,384
You know what that means,
Mr. Hollywood?
2526
01:59:14,418 --> 01:59:16,551
Yes. Yes, I know what that means.
But why?
2527
01:59:16,585 --> 01:59:18,451
I'm looking out for Lil.
2528
01:59:18,484 --> 01:59:20,484
And that's all
you need to know.
2529
01:59:21,518 --> 01:59:22,852
Goddamn sabotage.
2530
01:59:23,551 --> 01:59:24,818
- Okay.
- Whatever.
2531
01:59:26,152 --> 01:59:28,118
Oh, great,
the goonette squad.
2532
01:59:28,152 --> 01:59:29,319
Look at them go.
2533
01:59:29,351 --> 01:59:31,785
All right, Ma, man,
this nigga jumped out the window.
2534
01:59:31,818 --> 01:59:33,451
Is Lil and Lexi okay?
2535
01:59:33,484 --> 01:59:34,518
They're fine.
2536
01:59:34,551 --> 01:59:35,918
Hey, man,
shut the fuck up.
2537
01:59:36,985 --> 01:59:39,018
Look, that house is crazy.
2538
01:59:39,052 --> 01:59:41,118
Everybody over there
screamin' and cryin',
2539
01:59:41,152 --> 01:59:43,818
this motherfucker with
his junk swingin' everywhere.
2540
01:59:43,852 --> 01:59:45,719
This lazy bastard
not doin' shit.
2541
01:59:45,751 --> 01:59:47,018
- Besides sittin' on your ass.
- Shit, I do a lot.
2542
01:59:47,052 --> 01:59:48,618
I showed up, man,
I'm the fuckin' muscle.
2543
01:59:48,651 --> 01:59:50,451
And your lazy ass,
2544
01:59:50,484 --> 01:59:51,719
all you did
was get the money.
2545
01:59:51,751 --> 01:59:53,152
And then
you were just watchin'.
2546
01:59:53,185 --> 01:59:54,686
Nobody told me
I was going to be draggin'
2547
01:59:54,719 --> 01:59:56,018
a freakin' butt-naked dude
out the bed.
2548
01:59:56,052 --> 01:59:57,651
Man, you ain't
even do shit, anyways.
2549
01:59:57,686 --> 01:59:59,085
I don't need you coming
on no runs with me.
2550
01:59:59,118 --> 02:00:01,085
You ain't nothin' but
deadweight, motherfucker.
2551
02:00:01,118 --> 02:00:03,118
Okay. That's cool.
It's all good.
2552
02:00:03,152 --> 02:00:04,686
Mom, you gonna
let her talk to me like that?
2553
02:00:04,718 --> 02:00:05,852
Hell yeah,
I'mma talk to you like that.
2554
02:00:05,885 --> 02:00:07,551
- Listen...
- She can't save you.
2555
02:00:07,585 --> 02:00:08,652
- Time-out.
- Okay.
2556
02:00:08,686 --> 02:00:11,351
- Lazy motherfucker.
- Time the fuck out.
2557
02:00:12,686 --> 02:00:14,451
Yeah, you guys
are on time-out.
2558
02:00:14,484 --> 02:00:16,785
- Shut up.
- Shut up, bro. Zip it.
2559
02:00:18,085 --> 02:00:19,085
Mom...
2560
02:00:20,118 --> 02:00:21,885
This incident
ruined my night.
2561
02:00:21,918 --> 02:00:23,852
One of my buddies
had a party at Oceans,
2562
02:00:23,885 --> 02:00:24,785
I could have been there.
2563
02:00:24,818 --> 02:00:26,885
But I gotta come
and deal with this bullshit!
2564
02:00:26,918 --> 02:00:27,785
You see?
Constant complaining.
2565
02:00:27,818 --> 02:00:29,484
You were there
to protect your sister.
2566
02:00:29,518 --> 02:00:30,952
He not coming
with me no more.
2567
02:00:30,985 --> 02:00:31,952
A'ight, well,
I'm done with this shit.
2568
02:00:31,985 --> 02:00:33,085
You should've
stayed your ass at home.
2569
02:00:33,118 --> 02:00:34,484
You know what?
2570
02:00:34,518 --> 02:00:36,118
We havin' a family meeting
after this.
2571
02:00:36,152 --> 02:00:37,952
- Family meeting?
- Point-blank.
2572
02:00:37,985 --> 02:00:39,152
- You serious?
- We need a meeting.
2573
02:00:39,185 --> 02:00:40,285
You can take that information
2574
02:00:40,319 --> 02:00:42,751
and do what you want with it.
2575
02:00:42,785 --> 02:00:44,685
You ain't going
to that fucked-up club.
2576
02:00:44,718 --> 02:00:45,751
You ain't goin' nowhere.
2577
02:00:45,785 --> 02:00:47,885
Homeboy, you gon' sit right
here and roll with us.
2578
02:00:47,918 --> 02:00:49,484
We need a meeting.
2579
02:00:49,518 --> 02:00:50,619
Now back to you.
2580
02:00:50,652 --> 02:00:52,384
Yeah, yeah,
back to the sabotage.
2581
02:00:52,418 --> 02:00:54,885
Whatever you wanna call it.
It's over with.
2582
02:00:54,918 --> 02:00:57,551
That was between me and Lexi.
Seriously, what the fuck.
2583
02:00:57,585 --> 02:00:58,418
At the end of the day,
2584
02:00:58,451 --> 02:01:00,585
it's about you getting up
out of Texas.
2585
02:01:00,619 --> 02:01:02,551
It's time for you
to bounce.
2586
02:01:02,585 --> 02:01:03,852
Yeah, I'm fixin' to,
2587
02:01:03,885 --> 02:01:05,718
but I was gonna leave
in the morning,
2588
02:01:05,751 --> 02:01:07,685
I need money
to do that.
2589
02:01:07,718 --> 02:01:09,785
Well, maybe you could go sell
one of your fuck trophies.
2590
02:01:09,818 --> 02:01:11,484
Hey,
watch your mouth in front of Mom.
2591
02:01:11,518 --> 02:01:12,852
What's wrong with you?
2592
02:01:12,885 --> 02:01:14,018
Did you give him his 200?
2593
02:01:14,052 --> 02:01:16,118
I was, but then his punk-ass
jumped out the window.
2594
02:01:16,152 --> 02:01:17,418
Two hundred, that's it?
2595
02:01:17,451 --> 02:01:18,751
That's enough
to get you a bus ticket
2596
02:01:18,785 --> 02:01:19,785
far beyond the state line.
2597
02:01:22,651 --> 02:01:24,619
After everything
I did for you.
2598
02:01:24,651 --> 02:01:26,052
Two hundred. Wow.
2599
02:01:27,484 --> 02:01:28,785
Be gone by midday.
2600
02:01:31,852 --> 02:01:34,418
- Thank your mom for me.
- I sure will.
2601
02:01:34,451 --> 02:01:36,718
Maybe you oughta come
by our house sometime.
2602
02:01:36,751 --> 02:01:37,885
Yeah, that would be nice.
2603
02:01:37,918 --> 02:01:39,552
Yeah, you and Lex,
y'all come on over,
2604
02:01:39,586 --> 02:01:40,885
we can, you know, barbeque,
2605
02:01:40,918 --> 02:01:42,085
- drink some beer.
- Oh, that would be great.
2606
02:01:43,586 --> 02:01:45,052
You know,
I should be taking
2607
02:01:45,085 --> 02:01:46,552
the backpack
that you gave me,
2608
02:01:46,586 --> 02:01:47,952
but, no, I'll take...
I'll use this.
2609
02:01:47,985 --> 02:01:49,085
You want me
to walk down the street
2610
02:01:49,118 --> 02:01:50,418
with a garbage bag? Fine.
2611
02:01:50,451 --> 02:01:51,651
Yeah, you should.
2612
02:01:51,685 --> 02:01:53,152
- Fuckin' bullshit.
- Like a hobo.
2613
02:01:53,185 --> 02:01:54,885
Threw my clothes in there
all fucked up,
2614
02:01:54,918 --> 02:01:55,785
I'm gonna fold my clothes
2615
02:01:55,818 --> 02:01:56,818
so when I leave,
they're not wrinkled.
2616
02:01:56,852 --> 02:01:58,985
Me and him got in a fight
about 25 years ago.
2617
02:01:59,018 --> 02:02:00,052
Really?
2618
02:02:00,085 --> 02:02:00,918
I whupped his ass
in high school.
2619
02:02:00,952 --> 02:02:03,052
- I'm sure he deserved it.
- Yeah.
2620
02:02:03,085 --> 02:02:04,018
I'm gonna take my time.
2621
02:02:04,052 --> 02:02:05,552
- Let's see how you fold.
- Yeah, watch.
2622
02:02:05,586 --> 02:02:06,952
- Oh, look at that fold...
- Oh, my God.
2623
02:02:06,985 --> 02:02:08,552
Oh, you should work
at the Gap.
2624
02:02:08,586 --> 02:02:10,085
Man, y'all get tired
of this shit, man?
2625
02:02:10,118 --> 02:02:12,052
- No, I love it.
- Y'all get tired of this shit?
2626
02:02:12,085 --> 02:02:13,651
Lil, you're
a good woman, Lil.
2627
02:02:13,685 --> 02:02:15,118
- Thank you.
- You really are.
2628
02:02:15,152 --> 02:02:16,519
Good seeing you again.
2629
02:02:16,552 --> 02:02:18,052
Fuckin' dumb bitch.
All this...
2630
02:02:18,085 --> 02:02:20,552
- Man, hurry the fuck up!
- June, relax! What the fuck!
2631
02:02:20,585 --> 02:02:21,519
That's right, hurry up.
Thank you, June!
2632
02:02:21,552 --> 02:02:23,052
- All right! Jesus.
- Get your shit, come on.
2633
02:02:25,519 --> 02:02:26,751
June!
2634
02:02:26,785 --> 02:02:28,852
There's been
a lot of drama here.
2635
02:02:28,885 --> 02:02:30,852
Oh, no, no, no,
you're not taking big stripes!
2636
02:02:30,885 --> 02:02:32,152
- Your big stripes...
- No, no!
2637
02:02:32,185 --> 02:02:33,918
I have the 64-ounce one!
2638
02:02:33,952 --> 02:02:35,618
And I took favorite shirt,
fuck you.
2639
02:02:35,651 --> 02:02:38,785
...for you, in here,
Mikey, get the fuck...
2640
02:02:38,818 --> 02:02:40,451
- Come on!
- Go sit down!
2641
02:02:40,484 --> 02:02:41,952
I'm taking my toothbrush!
2642
02:02:41,985 --> 02:02:43,451
Don't pretend
you brush your teeth.
2643
02:02:43,484 --> 02:02:45,552
- Shut up! Relax, June, damn.
- Oh, my God.
2644
02:02:45,585 --> 02:02:46,751
All right, I'm going.
2645
02:02:46,785 --> 02:02:49,618
Uh, Lil, seriously,
thank you so much for letting me stay,
2646
02:02:49,651 --> 02:02:50,618
I had an amazing time,
2647
02:02:50,651 --> 02:02:52,418
and you and your daughter
are dumb bitches.
2648
02:02:52,451 --> 02:02:53,785
- Don't say that.
- Piece of shit.
2649
02:02:53,818 --> 02:02:54,718
That is not right.
2650
02:02:54,751 --> 02:02:55,618
- Get the fuck out!
- I gotta get water
2651
02:02:55,651 --> 02:02:57,519
before I leave
'cause I'm gonna be thirsty!
2652
02:02:57,551 --> 02:02:58,384
You gotta go, man.
2653
02:02:58,418 --> 02:03:00,485
I bought this.
I bought this ashtray!
2654
02:03:00,519 --> 02:03:02,685
No, I said when I
got, I can take it back.
2655
02:03:02,718 --> 02:03:03,818
- Hey, let's go.
- You did not!
2656
02:03:03,852 --> 02:03:05,384
- There's no take-backs!
- Fine. Fine.
2657
02:03:05,418 --> 02:03:06,319
Get outta here, man.
2658
02:03:06,351 --> 02:03:08,384
I should have beat your ass
in high school.
2659
02:03:08,418 --> 02:03:09,852
Too bad it was the
other way around, huh?
2660
02:03:09,885 --> 02:03:11,418
- Yeah.
- You want to go another round?
2661
02:03:11,451 --> 02:03:13,485
Nah. You know what?
2662
02:03:13,519 --> 02:03:15,519
I got one last thing
to say to all you guys.
2663
02:03:15,551 --> 02:03:17,018
- Man, shut your bitch-ass up.
- Shut up!
2664
02:03:17,052 --> 02:03:18,585
- Shut the fuck up.
- Leave.
2665
02:03:18,618 --> 02:03:20,518
Not another word out
of your mouth!
2666
02:03:22,118 --> 02:03:24,852
Now get the fuck out,
you suitcase pimp.
2667
02:03:25,818 --> 02:03:26,818
What'd you say?
2668
02:03:28,018 --> 02:03:31,485
You heard me.
Suitcase pimp.
2669
02:03:32,152 --> 02:03:33,685
Say that shit again.
2670
02:03:33,718 --> 02:03:37,518
Homeless suitcase pimp.
2671
02:03:40,551 --> 02:03:41,551
Hmm.
2672
02:03:45,718 --> 02:03:47,018
Just go ahead
and leave, dude.
2673
02:03:52,518 --> 02:03:53,518
What the...
2674
02:03:55,185 --> 02:03:57,118
- He's outta here, babe.
- He's outta here.
2675
02:03:57,152 --> 02:03:58,852
No more.
2676
02:03:58,885 --> 02:04:01,152
Ah, that was
nothin' but trouble.
2677
02:06:50,215 --> 02:06:55,215
Provided by explosiveskull
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